


Spider-Man One Shots

by DrarryMalecSolangelo



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: And Gen Z humor, F/M, Few revolve around a relationship though, Irondad, M/M, a lot of fluff, and vines, like a lot, lots of vines, one shots, spiderson
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:15:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 70
Words: 67,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25613434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrarryMalecSolangelo/pseuds/DrarryMalecSolangelo
Summary: Random Spider-Man one shots, both overused ideas and original ones.Includes:•Class reveals since I'm a sucker for them•Irondad and Spiderson (a lot of fluff and protectiveness from both of them)•A couple field trips because it wouldn't be a Spider-Man one shot book without them•Venom just because•Both super-family and Peter meeting the Avengers for the first time•Vines with Shuri (what do you mean this isn't canon?)Addition: also three whole chapters of cinnamon (because someone requested it and then I had over 15 requests to continue it like wHY would you want that?)(And no, these aren't the only things in here, just the main ones)All the OS will happen before Infinity war because what's thatTrigger warnings will be given at the beginning of the chapter if needed(Swearing tw for the whole book tho)
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker/Harley Keener, Peter Parker/Loki, Peter Parker/MJ, Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Comments: 202
Kudos: 1086





	1. How did you take down Captain America?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter's invited to train with the Avengers, but Shuri... she still needs to test him.

The Avengers had been told they would be training with a powerful superhero who didn't belong to their team. It was unexpected to say the least, but interesting for sure. Who was it, and why weren't they a part of the team if they were powerful enough to fight them? Was it some kind of test, and if so, for whom?

They were pretty surprised when they saw a man clad in red and blue spandex coming into their private gym. They all knew of him, of course, but they didn't know he was so important. In fact, most of them thought his abilities were basic considering he never got involved in big fights, and that all his powers were a part of his suit, just as Iron Man's.

"Hi," he said nervously while rubbing his covered arms and astonishing everyone with his youthful voice.

"Kid, what are you doing here?" Tony asked as he came out of his suit, confirming the team's concerns: Spider-Man was actually a kid.

"Hey Mr. Stark... I'm sorry if you didn't want me here, I was just called by Mr. Fury and couldn't deny or else my identity would be revealed." The teen kept on fidgeting and avoided looking up.

"Fury threatened you? Who does he think he is?!" Stark started saying agitatedly. He was utterly offended and indignant that someone would threaten the cinnamon roll.

Fortunately, Thor cut him off before he could continue his dad-mode rambling. "Man of spiders, why would you think you wouldn't be wanted here?" He was genuinely curious. Peter looked up in confusion with a frown evident through the mask.

"For turning down the generous offer of being an Avenger. I know it wasn't a test, Mr. Stark, I just couldn't handle it. I didn't want to leave the little situations unattended because I was very busy waiting for a threat to the world, and I didn't know how to say it without offending you. Figured it would be easier to not say it at all. You'd be surprised of how many times acting stupid and oblivious can save you from difficult situations."

"So, you mean to tell me that you turned down the offer... because you seriously didn't want to be an Avenger?" the billionaire asked, puzzled. At Peter's nod, he tried again. "You didn't want to be a part of the Avengers, an elite team with Earth mightiest heroes, who battle against the biggest villains in existence from every world and defend the Earth?" Peter nodded again, this time slower to make his point across. "Because you wanted to save people who are often overlooked for free instead of working for the Earth as a whole while being paid?"

"Mr. Stark, I'm pretty sure you know the answer."

"Just making sure," he said, putting up a facade to stop surprise and pride from leaking through his face. He willed the Iron Man suit to come to him again.

A whistle was heard from the boy's left. "You're seriously something, huh? You should be proud." It was Hawkeye speaking, being followed by short nods of agreement from the other heroes in the room.

It was only then that Peter noticed the amount of people present. It wasn't just the original Avengers, as he had been told; there was also T'Challa, Shuri, Dr. Strange, Ant-Man and the Wasp.

"Hi everyone!" Spider-Man said cheerfully, though still extremely nervous. It was pretty obvious, too.

"Hi, what's your name?" Steve asked.

"Uhh, secret identity here?"

"Oh."

There was a kind of awkward silence in which some of the heroes stared at the kid in wonder while others seized him up.

Peter started speaking, "Shouldn't we... maybe... train?" But he never got the chance to finish that sentence, as an American-themed shield was thrown his way. Spider-Man simply shoot a web at it and pulled it into his own hands. "Dude, that was rude! I wasn't done talking." He pouted slightly.

"Less talking and more action." Steve went to throw an experienced punch after thinking he was done analyzing his opponent, only to realize quite late that it was a very bad idea. Yep, he underestimated him by thinking his abilities came only out of technology. And for his age, that proved he was less capable. And for his apparently inexperienced stance.

All of them which were actually false.

So Steve was surprised when the boy easily caught his fist in his hand and threw him into the ceiling with one hand. Steve, however, decided that if he was going to be thrown into the ceiling, he would take advantage of it. What did Captain do? He took Spider-Man's glove with him, to prevent him from crawling through the walls.

Oh boy, he was wrong.

"Taking my clothing isn't very patriotic, is it?" Peter asked sassily, letting his Spider-Man personality show a flash of itself. He decided he should have some fun; it isn't every day you get to fight The Captain America, so he let his personality completely switch from the shy and nervous teen to the confident and sassy hero.

He webbed the super-soldier as he reached the ceiling, locking him in place and immobilizing him. He then jumped fifteen meters up and stuck to the ceiling with both hands.

"It wasn't the gloves?" Steve asked stupidly.

"No, no it wasn't." And then he turned so he was standing upside down, before proceeding to knock Captain out with his own shield, that had previously been held between his legs.

Peter jumped down. "Oops." His tone was non-apologetic. "The webbing will dissolve in a couple of hours." He smiled innocently. Everyone continued to stare.

Why? Because he had taken down one of the strongest people on Earth in under two minutes. And it had been fucking amazing.

Shuri, however, still had to test Peter.

"How did you take down Captain America?" she asked. It seemed like a normal question due to the situation, but Peter knew better.

"We shot him in the legs because his shield is the size of a dinner plate and he is an idiot," Peter answered in a German accent with a sly smirk, not missing the dread on T'Challa's eyes once the words left his mouth.

"Not another one. Please, no. I'm begging you. No."

Shuri smiled.

"What's your name?" Peter asked.

"What up? I'm Jared, I'm nineteen and I never fucking learnt how to read," she answered without missing a beat. "And yours?"

"I'm Michael with a b, and I've been afraid of insects my whole life."

"Stop, stop, stop. Where?"

"Hm?" He faked confusion.

"Where's the b?"

"There's a bee?" His voice cracked.

The princess again smiled at the boy, prompting him to quote another vine.

"I like your accent, where you from?" he asked.

"I'm Liberian."

"Oh, my bad." He started whispering, "I like your accent, where you from?"

"Are- are they fine?" a dubious Tony asked.

Both teens turned to look at the man in a suit of armor. "Oh, hi. Thanks for checking in. I'm still a piece of garbage."

As soon as their interaction was over, they broke down in a fit of laughter.

The Avengers could swear they tried everything to gain back their attention, but nothing worked.

Not Iron Man's beams, not Thor's hammer, not Strange's magic.

That was until Clint stole Natasha's gun and fired at the roof once.

Both teens turned to look at the man simultaneously and yelled, "This is why mom doesn't fucking love you!"


	2. You're doing amazing sweetie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contrary to popular belief, Spider-Man's secret identity isn't so secret. But he doesn't know that.

Peter Parker was a mystery.

He always appeared with serious wounds or new scars to school, the bruises from bullying disappeared within hours, he slipped out of class more times than anyone could count and was always sleepy despite not having a night life like his classmates. For that, Peter Parker was a mystery to everyone.

Truth was, he was actually not.

The boy's whole class (save Flash) knew about his identity as Spider-Man, and those who didn't figure it out on their own were told about it within the first month of the young hero's apparition. 

Now, you may be wondering why hadn't the news gotten out to the world. The reason was frankly pretty simple: they all agreed that Peter was too much of an angel and a cinnamon roll to expose him to the dangers of the world without the shield of anonymity.

So they silently protected him from all the dangers they were able to. It was a way to say thank you for every time he had risked his life for the city's well-being and safety as his alter-ego.

One example of this was the time poor Peter fell asleep during history class after pulling an all-nighter patrolling. Mr. Smith was livid seeing a student be so careless over his class, and was just about to wake the boy up shouting and give him detention when Cindy interrupted. Cindy Moon, God bless her soul, took notice of the teacher's intention and realized how painful it would be for Peter's enhanced hearing.

"Mr. Smith, I don't feel so good. I think I'm going to throw up," she stood up and faked dizziness. "When did the school get three boards? Isn't it counter-productive?" And the girl fake-fainted, causing the teacher to rush to her and the class to erupt into chaos.

"Oh God! Are we going to die?" Abraham asked to sow panic. In response, the teacher barked useless orders to the rest of the class to stay in place and be quiet while he took Cindy to the nurse. It was in between the shouting that MJ poked Peter so he would wake up. In the midst of the 'panic', Mr. Smith failed to remember the reason why he was so angry just a minute prior.

Just like that situation, there were hundreds. They not only saved him from detention and giving explanations he lacked, though, they also helped him stay as healthy as they could, both physically and mentally.

Like that one time when the Mexican math teacher accidentally called him Pedro.

Peter was visibly shaking the second that name left the teacher's lips, it wouldn't be long before he had a full-on panic attack. One of those would not only be extremely overwhelming but it also would reveal his identity to both the teacher and Flash. The class decided that they just couldn't let that happen, so they, again, took action.

MJ had given them an hour-long lecture that all of them took about ways to ground Peter. One of them? Physical contact.

So, when Charles stood up and said "I have to go to the bathroom," before proceeding to 'trip' next to Peter, nobody was surprised. Charles gripped the young hero's arm while falling, with just enough strength to ground him but not enough to increase the feeling of being trapped under the building by pulling him down.

Being Peter, he shook himself out of whatever was going on in his mind to help his classmate stand up, thanking him mentally for the touch and opportunity of helping. The thought of it all being intentional never once crossed Peter's mind.

The protection of his secret identity was also another aspect of the agreement. The world could be cruel; if they knew who Spider-Man was, they'd stalk him and use him. The worst part was that Peter would let them, because he was that kind and naive. His class, however, wouldn't have it, so they made sure to keep the secret.

Once, for example, his suits' sleeve hung out of his bag. 

Peter was oblivious as always, but his suit was visible in his backpack as he walked out of class. Fortunately, Betty Brant saw it before it was too late.

Betty hurried to pick up her own things and speed-walked to MJ, who was walking beside Peter. "Sally!" the girl called out while bumping into MJ to call her attention. "You forgot to zip your bag!" It was a kind of secret language they all had developed. Of course, saying things in an actual different language was off the options since it would be too suspicious, just as inventing codes would be. The easiest option was calling MJ's attention and telling another person what was meant to be a message for the girl. It was so simple that it didn't raise suspicion at all.

"Thank you, Betty," said Sally, understanding the situation. Michelle, too, understood and whispered Peter a warning, saving him from a school-wide exposition.

As Peter walked safely out of school, with his suit well-hidden, Betty followed him with her gaze and muttered, "You're doing amazing sweetie," as a fond smile graced her lips. 


	3. Peter gets a paper cut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter gets a paper cut. The fourth wall comes crashing down. The PPPS assembles.

Peter's day was going unusually well: he actually arrived to school on time, was bullied very little throughout the day and aced a chemistry test.

All in all, a good day.   
Now, things like this don't last long for poor Peter, and he knew it.

That's why, when he got a tiny paper cut and the whole fourth wall came crushing down, he wasn't surprised in the slightest.

The situation went like this:

Peter was taking notes while the teacher spoke when he run out of space and took out a new sheet of paper. While doing so, he scratched his forefinger a bit, making a shallow and short cut. The fans, however, didn't interpret it that way.

"PPPS ASSEMBLE!" a brunette cried as the fourth wall became dust. Dozens of other girls, boys and non-binary people started arriving a second after those words left her mouth. Moments later, they were hundreds. Then, thousands.

"Is our baby ok?"

"What happened to him?"

"Tell me he isn't hurt."

"Where do you need us?"

"Peter? Where's Peter? Is he alright?"

Voices raised as everyone started asking questions in concern over Peter. Their voices juxtaposed until all they said became unrecognizable.

"Guys..." Peter tried uselessly. Not one person noticed him. "Guys..." he attempted again, with a higher voice volume. Still no results.

Peter decided he had had enough. Tiredly, he stepped on top of his desk, took a deep breath and shouted as loud as he could until his lungs burnt. The room was left so silent you could hear a pin drop.

"I. Am. Fine." he said slowly to make his point clear.

"You sure, darling?" a random dude asked, worried.

"Yeah, it was just a little paper cut, it's already healed." At the unsure faces of the crowd, Peter hurried to hold up said finger to show them before they started shouting over each other again. "See? I'm fine, I swear."

A girl eyed him suspiciously with narrowed eyes. "You could drop from the sky in a burning plane and you wouldn't ask for help. How are we supposed to believe you aren't actually hurt?" Murmurs of agreement resonated through the classroom and whatever was behind the destroyed wall.

"When were you last stabbed?" a girl asked in concern and slight anger towards whoever did it.

Before Peter could answer, someone else spoke. "And when was the last time you were shot?"

"I love you, Peter!" a random voice yelled in between the questions. Everyone ignored them.

"When was the last time you ate?"

"And slept?"

Whispers could be heard as the fans fussed over him.

"If you ask one more thing I swear to god-" Peter started.

"Just tell us if you're alright!" the brunette from the beginning said.

"I am, but if you don't leave immediately I'll avoid meals and naps to do you know what," he said stubbornly, referring to patrols. He knew the only way to get them to leave was putting himself at risk. He knew he was right when he heard a series of gasps and yelps coming from the huge crowd.

"You win this time, Peter, but I won't let anything happen to you while I am the writer." The brunette turned around and started shouting commands left and right to the rest.

As the unknown people worked to rebuild the fourth wall with scotch tape and school glue, Peter got down from his desk and sat in his chair as if nothing happened at all.

The class and teacher just watched with mouths agape and wide eyes as the last brick was placed on the wall.

"So... We were talking about thermal conductivity?"


	4. I was just... nicked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter is nicked, just slightly poked, with a knife before class. Not stabbed, though, not at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: blood, stab wounds and mention of gun shots.

Despite Peter's claims of being completely fine, he was not.

He had been stabbed while walking to school, because he found a situation that Spider-Man had to take care of. Being himself, Peter dismissed the wound and only put bandage over it after cleaning it a little.

The problem? The bandage was still visible as it was on his shoulder. Now, if you had been stabbed on your way to school, what you considered a problem probably would have been the stab wound itself, not the bandage showing. But, again, it is Peter we are talking about.

He resolved that putting a sweater over his shirt would do the trick until he healed, but he decided to ignore the fact that the poor medical attention he had given his injury would cause a (relatively) slow healing process.

Peter finally arrived to school, though ten minutes late, and entered the math classroom. The teacher, Mrs. Williams, was fast to scold him for his tardiness and gave them all a lecture about the importance of punctuality for a quarter of the class.

When she finally continued teaching her subject, everyone zoned out. That was until Betty screeched.

Everyone snapped back into attention and searched the classroom for the source of her terror, including Peter.

The young hero was worried for his classmates safety all the time, believing his alter ego to put them in constant danger from enemies. He wasn't expecting, though, to find them all staring at him in horror after Betty's scream.

"What?" he asked, turning around to make sure they were actually looking at him.

"Mr. Parker..." the teacher started off insecure, "is that blood on your shoulder?" The tone in her voice made it obvious that she was trying to stay calm and in control, but she was worried, scared and confused.

Peter looked down at his left shoulder, not noticing anything out of the ordinary. He then looked at his right shoulder and saw that there was, in fact, blood leaking through his sweater.

"Oh, man, I liked this sweater," he complained. He then proceeded to take off said sweater and then his tee shirt, which was also covered in the red substance.

He not so carefully unwrapped the bloodied bandage and exposed the stab wound for all to see. He groaned in annoyance.

Peter then shuffled through his backpack and took out a first aid kit.

"Peter," the teacher interrupted his search for cottons to clean the wound, "what happened?"

"Nothing. Just... let me get this cleaned. Continue with the class."

"No, Peter. I need to know what happened and why you didn't look for medical attention as soon as possible," she continued scolding him with a panicked expression on her face. Just as she finished saying this and Peter found the cotton, Cindy entered the classroom with the nurse following suit. Mrs. Williams had ordered her to do so when she saw how much blood Peter had lost, but said boy hadn't noticed the girl slipping out.

"You need to call his guardian, this is one serious injury. We won't be able to deal with it at the school nursery." The nurse approached Peter with her own first aid kit and discarded the cotton Peter had used, as it was already soaking with blood. She applied pressure.

"Ned, give me Peter's phone please. We need to make this fast," Mrs. Williams demanded, and Ned was quick to comply. He unlocked the phone and gave it to the teacher, who called one of the two emergency contacts in spite of Peter's pleas to ignore his situation.

"Peter? Shouldn't you be in class? Is everything alright?" a voice through the other side of the phone spoke.

"This is his teacher talking. Peter arrived to school with what appears to be a stab wound and is currently being treated by the nurse, but we will need his guardian's permission to take him to a hospital and continue the procedure safely-" she never ended her sentence, as a command was yelled by the man on the phone.

"Friday, activate hologram mode!"

"Karen, don't!" Peter shouted, as he had been listening in to their conversation with his super hearing.

"I'm sorry, Peter, but he has the authority to override your commands," an unknown female voice said.

Suddenly, Peter's seemingly old phone started projecting the live image of Tony Stark in his lab, but what called everyone's attention was the concern shown on his usually expressionless face.

"Peter! We talked about this!" Peter sighed and massaged his temple with his right hand. The nurse grabbed his hand carefully but firmly and put it back down, continuing putting on a new bandage.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. If I ever get stabbed and/or shot, I must call you or Aunt May." The careless statement shocked the class even more than the fact that Peter actually had a relationship with the billionaire. How often did he get stabbed _and shot_? Just by seeing some of the scars in his chest, they could assume it was often.

"Exactly. Then why did you just go to school without alerting us?"

"Because I'm fine." The whole class turned to him simultaneously with incredulous looks. "I was just... nicked."

"No, you were not," MJ contributed.

"You're not helping!" Peter complained.

"Peter!" Tony scolded again.

The classroom's doors opened all of a sudden, surprising everyone. In came a dozen doctors.

"We'll be taking him to Stark Tower's med bay," was all said by the group leader before they put Peter in a stretcher and took him away.

"Now he's on good hands. Thanks for the call, Mrs. Teacher, he never would have called by himself." Then the hologram disappeared.

No one would ever know what happened if they hadn't been present at the moment; there was absolutely nothing to prove the situation. The bloodied sweater, tee shirt and bandage, along with Peter's personal belongings, had been taken by some of the doctors, and the blood on the floor was gone. If they ever told anyone, they wouldn't be believed.

"Damn, who would have thought he had abs?!" Abe muttered in admiration. Charles smacked him.


	5. He stole it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade betrays Peter trust, he steals something that will make it impossible for Peter to ever forgive him. What could it be? *Gasp*

Peter was nervous.

Now, you may be asking, why was poor Peter nervous?

Well, he had been stolen and he would do _anything_ to get back what was his.

"It's mine now," an unknown voice said, startling Peter and making him look around frantically in search of the thief.

"Give it back!" Peter tried saying intimidatingly, but failed miserably.

"It's mine," the voice repeated, and this time Peter was able to locate it behind himself.

He turned around, only to find his friend Wade was the culprit. He gasped in shock, feeling the betrayal deep within his soul. What was worse, however, was the fact that Wade held what he stole high in his hands for him to see clearly, gloating and hurting his former friend further.

"Why?" Peter asked in a small voice, feeling utterly vulnerable and backstabbed. He would have never thought this situation possible. He trusted Wade.

"Because I want to." And if Peter thought he couldn't feel worst, he was wrong. Anger came rushing to him, expelling any feeling of weakness and replacing it with sheer fury.

"You can't take what isn't yours! Give it back!" He cried. All response he got was a smile.

And that smile was the last straw. He wouldn't stay quiet and let the thief get away, he was done with it. He wouldn't sit back and watch helplessly how a person he used to trust, a person he used to call friend, took what was his. He wouldn't accept it-

Peter's thoughts were interrupted. "Come on, Pete, let's go," the person said, grabbing him by the arm and yanking him away.

"But daddy!" 5-year-old Peter complained, "He stole my lollipop!"


	6. Dodgeball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter's class plays dodgeball for gym class, and Peter is too tired to remember he doesn't have to dodge.

Six hours.

Six hours is what he told his friends he had slept. But, quoting him, the city needed Spider-Man, so Peter hadn't actually been sleeping much. Scratch that- he hadn't been sleeping at all. And it was showing.

The first day had been fine, the sleepiness hadn't been too noticeable. He continued on with his day and with school as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening- and it wasn't, it was definitely not the first (nor the last) time he had gone to school without an ounce of sleep. He said he'd sleep later.

He didn't.

The second day he was extra careful not to show any signs of tiredness, but it was beginning to get harder. He dozed off during some lectures, but he didn't think anyone noticed.

The third day, he broke his desk. Too tired to measure the strength he was applying, he dropped his books on his desk- and it looked like the desk fucking dissolved. Oops. Blame it on the bad quality of the hundred-year-old school supplies. Obviously not his fault.

Fourth day, he fucked up.

It was Friday, which meant: PE. Now, this usually wouldn't be a problem considering that, with his abilities, he could do more than any of his classmates no matter how tired he was. Now, _that_ wasn't the problem.

The problem was that, when the coach announced they'd be playing dodgeball, he assigned Flash and Peter in opposing teams.

That would normally be a pain in the ass, as Peter would have to let himself be hit repeatedly, but that still wasn't the problem.

The problem, this time for real, was that Peter was too sleepy to remember not to follow his spidey sense. That's it, that was the problem.

No big deal, right?

No. It was a fucking giant, immense deal.

Why?

Uhm, secret identity? Ring any bell?

So, without having had a literal minute of sleep on the last four days, Peter entered the field.

"Ready to have your ass handed to you, Penis?"

And with that it started. But Peter didn't understand anything anymore.

"Huh?"

He had his eyes closed, swaying on his feet slightly. Were he conscious enough, he'd regret not having slept.

The first ball sent his way didn't cause anything big to surface, he had just stepped to the side, almost stumbling, but still with his eyes closed. A few more balls went like this, all coming in rapid succession but not enough to be unbearable. He side-stepped some until adrenaline (the only source of power for his patrols lately) kicked in, and then the fun started. Without opening his eyes, and now scowling while lsosing himself in the battle, Peter dodged every ball directed his way. 

He focused, making all his enhanced senses sharpen. He didn't exactly know where he was, he didn't think he needed to, he just knew his sixth sense was telling him to duck, so he did. He kept his eyes firmly closed, knowing by experience that sometimes his vision could overwhelm him. Completely neglecting his sight had been proved useful, so he was going to put that knowledge into use.

_ Jump! _

And so Peter jumped.

_ Crouch! _

And so Peter crouched.

_ To the right! _

And so Peter moved to the right.

_ Two threats- left shoulder, right leg. _

And so Peter jumped again, high enough to grab a beam on the ceiling- at least ten meters high.

He released his hold on the beam, doing a front flip while falling and landing on his own usual superhero pose as softly as a fucking ballerina.

Peter grabbed what he had in front of him, touching it and recognizing it as a ball. He ignored the reason why there'd be a ball at a fight, but he didn't care. He threw it to one of the places where the previous projectiles had been coming from, where he could hear someone breathing, successfully hitting one of the unknown opponents- and pushing them to the floor with the force of the blow.

_ Three threats! _

_ Five! _

Now more projectiles started being thrown his way again, each time there were more. Peter summoned all the agility, flexibility and stamina he was able to and started dodging.

Not one thing touched him.

When he didn't feel anything more coming, Peter dropped to his knees, slightly panting, and then opened his eyes to see what exactly was going on that the attacks just stopped.

Answer was that he was at school. On PE class. Playing dodgeball with his classmates. He was the only one left on his team. And the other team had no balls left to throw at him.

"Shit."

And with that, he face-planted to the floor, asleep and snoring. But hey, let's be fair, absolutely no sleep for four days would do that to anyone. 


	7. Flash meets Venom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flash bothers the wrong person in the wrong moment with the wrong words. Cue to Venom trying to eat him.

Peter was _not_ having a good day. He had gotten detention after he arrived fifteen minutes late to school because a mugger decided I'd be a great time to rob a woman, and he had an enormous stack of homework due the next day. And, to make matters worse, Flash was being a pain in the ass.

_ 'Just let me eat him,'  _ a foreign voice in his mind that Peter knew as Venom said.

"Nope. Not gonna happen." Some students around him stared when he said this, but who wouldn't when he was apparently talking alone?

"New level unlocked!" Flash exclaimed from behind him. "You're now even more of a freak. Who would have thought it possible?"

_ 'If you won't let me kill him then at least fight back, don't let him damage our pride!' _

"No, Venom. I won't do anything to him." He had tried to speak a little bit quieter, but it apparently wasn't enough.

"Puny Penis Parker, get out of here before you infect us all with your insanity and stupidity! You're a parasite!"

"Oh, no," dread filled Peter's eyes, "you shouldn't have said that."

Peter's eyes turned completely black as Venom took control.

"I am _not_ a parasite." The voice was like nothing any of the students had ever heard, and not Peter's for sure.

"What are you?" the bully asked cautiously. Venom stood up in one fast and swift moment, making the desks and chairs around him all fall down and clank as they reached the floor. The sound was strangely ominous as it resonated on the silent classroom.

"We are Venom." Black goo started covering all the injuries Flash had caused throughout the day before disappearing and leaving him without a single scratch. "And you shouldn't have messed with us." Venom lunged towards the boy, who was trying to escape by running to the corner of the classroom where the rest of the students were shielding.

Eugene, being his usual stupid self, tripped. Venom took this to his advantage and gripped the boy tightly with his big black hand extending from Peter's human arm. He opened his mouth wide and was just about to rip off the boy's head when he stopped and twitched his head to the side ever so slightly, as if he was listening to someone.

"But I wanna eat him," the alien complained. "I know you forbid me but hey, the secret's already out, might as well just kill him." Flash shuddered, still hanging from the beast's fist. Venom let out what would probably be described as a sigh were he a normal human being. He opened his fist and dropped the scared teen to the floor. "It's your lucky day, boy, Peter won't let me end you... But if you touch us-" again he paused- "anyone one more time, I won't pay attention to any of his pleas."

Venom's black eyes were replaced by the usual innocent big doe brown eyes. Peter was back.

Feeling tired and defeated, Peter turned to the desk behind him, picking it up effortlessly and placing it again where it belonged. He gave up whatever act he had going on about being weak and just picked up the disorder Venom had made. He repeated the process with the remaining desks as his classmates slowly made their way back to their places.

The teacher re-entered the classroom, having left to look for some copies.

"I hope you all behaved accordingly," she said with a small smile. If the class was eerily silent after that, she didn't notice.


	8. There goes his cover...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki breaks into Peter's school while being chased by SHIELD agents. When they see the person they believe to be a fellow agent (cough cough Peter), they leave the job to him.

Gym class was supposed to be difficult for everyone. And it was, in some way.

Cindy had trouble doing pushups, Abe didn't like squats, Betty dreaded doing abs for more than 10 seconds.

Peter, however, had the difficulty of keeping his abilities on the down low. Somehow, some way, he managed to do it.

That was until fucking Loki decided to break into their school while being followed by SHIELD agents.

The class immediately erupted into chaos, trying to reach the furthest corner in order to shield themselves from whatever dangerous situation was going on. Peter stayed at the front, ready to defend anyone if it came to that.

One of the agents, Charlie, skimmed over the room to do a mental map and develop strategies, as well as to see if there were any civilians to protect. As his eyes swept over Peter, he had to do a double take.

"Agent Parker, catch him!" At the mention of the boy's name, all the agents' attention snapped shortly towards him. You could see them all visibly relax at his presence. They knew now that they would all be fine.

Peter sighed. So much for keeping a secret identity.

The class watched with interest and fear as their seemingly weak classmate left the safe spot to fight a villain. Why would professionals ask Peter, when he had just been struggling to do four pushups?

Another sigh from Peter was heard as he bid farewell any chances at a normal life.

•×××•

None of Peter's classmates could explain it, they couldn't point out just exactly what was that changed about him, but something did.

It wasn't only the way his big, innocent brown eyes turned emotionless and serious, nor the way he stopped hunching and now seemed taller and stronger. It also wasn't the way he puffed out his chest slightly with the naturalness of a native leader, nor was it the new aura of confidence he held. Those things were immensely noticeable, but they weren't the biggest change.

Then they felt it. What shocked them all was the incredible power and authority that every movement, every inch and every pore of his body emanated.

How could they have possibly not noticed until then? That security, that dominance... How did they ever ignore it?

But if the class was already astonished by then for his change, that feeling couldn't even be compared to what they felt once Peter sprung into action

Three swift movements, that's all it took him.

Peter took a deep breath, looking more annoyed than afraid, and started a small run that gave him just enough impulse to jump to the bleachers that lined the unharmed wall. No one could quite decide if he even made a sound while reaching the destiny surface, the delicacy, grace and fast pace being almost overwhelming for the expectators who hadn't seen anything like that ever before. He crouched and analyzed the space, options swirling in his mind. That was the first movement.

Next, Peter jumped again, this time managing to grip one beam on the roof, from which he started balancing backwards and forward an exact amount of four times until he reached the desired amplitude, then he let go. That was the second movement.

He landed with a soft and almost imperceptible thump, just behind Loki, who had been entertained by the other SHIELD agents. A knife seemingly materialized on Peter's right hand, and his classmates started wondering how many covered weapons he had always carried on his person. A single punch allowed Peter to pull Loki into a headlock, the knife held firmly against the god's neck. That was the third movement.

Everyone held their breaths.

"Bitch, did you really have to do that?" Peter groaned, startling everyone out of their shocked, terrified and fascinated stupor. "You knew I wanted to go unnoticed, you asshole!"

A quiet series of gasps echoed through the gym not only at Peter's words but also at his actions: he undid the headlock and crossed his arms, pouting. Ok, we could talk about how crossing his arms put him at an unimaginable disadvantage or whatever... but he was _pouting_. 

Loki turned around with a sly smirk plastered on his unearthily beautiful features. "Oh my. What would Aunt May say about that kind of language?" Peter rolled his eyes, which no longer were cold, stone walls.

"Answer."

"Of course I knew, my friend, I just could not let you be bullied and underappreciated just because you were a fool and did not want to disclose your true worth."

Peter uncrossed his arms. He awed. "You care!"

"No, your daily complaints got insufferable. It is different."

"Whatever you say, god of lies." Now it was Peter's turn to smirk, until he remebered what he was angry about. He scowled again. "But that doesn't change the fact that I told you not to do anything stupid yet you still did."

"Are you calling me stupid?" 

"Yes, I am." The god seemed unfazed by the insult. If anything, his grin widened. "Your horns are pathetic." Oh, low blow. Loki took a sharp breath, smile vanishing.

"They are my godly symbol, you uncultured swine!" He said indignantly.

Peter raised a brow. 

Loki raised a perfectly trimmed brow. 

They stared at each other for a solid five seconds.

Finally, Loki budged, sighing. "Alright, I am sorry."

"No, you're not."

"No, I am not," the god admitted. "You know me so well..." Peter narrowed his eyes. "Okay, okay! I will repay for doing you a favor." He rolled his eyes. Peter hummed in contentment. "Movie night? On Asgard, we do not have those... 'Star Wars'-"

"So you'll get some from here before going? Awesome." He narrowed his eyes further while saying this, leaving the god no alternative, so he nodded. "And... what else?"

Loki blinked. "I will pay for the candy?" He said it more like a question, but Peter's frown softened- but still didn't disappear. "And Thor will be there," he said defeatedly.

Peter's whole sour expression dissolved. "That would be very nice, thank you," he said. He started approaching his friend again.

"I still do not understand why you admire that puny god. He is just a cluster of muscle, electricity, blond hair and puppy eyes."

"Exactly." Peter reached Loki and grabbed his arm in a way that seemed casual yet experienced.

The class, teacher and agents watched their interaction unfold like a tennis match, and they couldn't stop staring until the end, too shocked to open their mouths.

Then, Loki and Peter disappeared within fucking rainbow lights.


	9. Gay humor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spider-Man's and Deadpool's favorite pastime? Gay puns.   
> That's it. That's the one shot.

Spider-Man and Deadpool had a favorite hobby in common: roasting clueless criminals with their unique homosexual humor.

Why? Because Spideypool was real, of course. They were very gay for each other.

"If you move one finger, I won't have mercy, I'll straight up shoot you," Wade started calmly as he saw a mugger try to steal from a teen. The criminal froze and the boy hurried to leave, not before sending a grateful smile to both heroes (one hero and one anti-hero actually, but whatever).

"But DP," Peter started, "you can't do things straight. As a pansexual, you're anything but that."

"Oh, you're right." The mugger seemed to take their discussion as his cue to escape, but he was shot in the leg with webs the second he turned around.

"Told you not to move." He shrugged. "Be glad it was me who reacted and not DP, because his threats are anything but empty." The mugger grumbled, but he was so obviously scared.

"But Spidey!" Deadpool whined, "I wanted to shoot him!"

"Well I'm not reacting fast on purpose! I'm sorry for being bi!" Peter crossed his arms.

"What does that have to do with reacting fast?"

"I'm high on coffee."

"Ok, that's fair," Deadpool agreed, nodding his head.

It seems that the mugger was a slow learner, because he, again, tried to escape while they spoke. This time, Wade shot him in the leg.

The criminal yelled out in pain and shot a glare towards the mercenary. "I won't be stopped by two persons who make themselves be called superheroes while wearing those ridiculous costumes," he said in disgust.

Peter was quick to respond, "Darling, I look gay, not ridiculous, and that's because my suit came out of the closet this morning. It only makes sense." He smiled condescendingly. Wade burst out into laughter.

"Spider-Man is... gay?" The man frown, not in disgust nor malice, just plain confusion.

"Honey," Deadpool started, "we are both superheroes running around in spandex; what did you expect us to be? Straight?"


	10. Presentation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter takes the wrong laptop to school, Tony hacks it, war ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could be a sequel to "Dad" if you want it to, just so you understand the context of their relationship.

Peter loved staying over at the tower every night he could. There was absolutely nothing he enjoyed more than spending time with his dad while doing one of the things he liked the most: inventing. Everyone knew that.

One thing few people knew about, though, was the videos.

Because Peter Parker and Tony Stark _always_ filmed videos- the innocently cute kind that only surge naturally.

And Peter kept them on his laptop, an advanced and unique laptop. Unique except for Pepper's (which was always at her office) and Tony's.

The only difference there was between them was that Peter's had a "discreet" mode, which would allow him all the comforts of using one single, impossibly advanced laptop for everything, even school, without having to give explanations about where he got that several hundred million dollar device. Basically, the "discreet" mode would use nanotech to disguise the artifact and make it look old.

(And Tony's didn't have this mode because the skies would fall before the day came that Tony would have or want to hide his wealth).

One morning, in a rush, Peter took the laptop above the kitchen's desk without double checking it was his. He didn't know what was coming. He had no idea.

So Peter got to school, started with his day normally for the first half an hour until it was his turn to give a presentation for their English class. He just had to plug in his laptop and choose the video.   
Easy, right?

Wrong.

Because, of course, the laptop wasn't his. It was Tony's.

As soon as he took it out and saw it hadn't instantly changed into discreet mode after being put on his bag, he knew something was wrong. And he knew exactly what.

Peter stuffed the laptop inside his bag again, raising his hand to speak.

"I forgot my computer. Can I show my video another day?" Of course, he could just ask Friday to send said video to Tony's laptop, but he still had to take it out and how would he explain that?

Before the teacher could answer, Flash piped in. "But I just saw a laptop in your bag, or is it just too raddled and you're ashamed of showing it?"

The teacher rose an eyebrow expectantly, ignoring the bullying and silently asking Peter if he had it or not.

"I seriously can't give the presentation. I don't have my laptop." It wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't true either. He didn't have _his_ laptop, but he could still give the presentation.

"Come on, man, just show the video. I'm sure it's alright," said Ned, oblivious to the actual issue.

"You're not helping," he said through gritted teeth before turning to his teacher. "I don't have my laptop here," he tried again, but he knew it was futile.

Peter took a deep breath and let out a sigh.

He took out Tony's laptop.

"It isn't mine," he uselessly muttered as a faint whisper passed over the students. They obviously hadn't expected Peter to take out a seemingly brand-new SI laptop that looked strangely futuristic in a non-pretentious way.

As some looked at it closely, they noticed it wasn't like the ones in the market. Their first though was: it's fake.

They were proven wrong as soon as Peter opened said device and, instead of pausing at the middle like any normal person would, Peter opened it completely into a 180° angle.

Ok, so maybe it wasn't what you would call a "laptop" but... from the exterior, it was.

A single blue light emerged from the screen and Peter opened his eyes just a little bit wider. The light scanned his iris and immediately gave him access.

"Hello, Peter. May I ask why are you using boss' technology? My database says yours is still fully functional. Did anything happen?" The blue light now had a voice.

"Hi, Friday..." Peter was awkward. "Um, I confused the laptops, they're the same. Could you, maybe, please, not tell Tony? He'd hack it and I really don't want that."

"I'm sorry Peter, the message has been delivered exactly 23.17 seconds ago. He's currently on a meeting so he won't be able to see it until it ends." Peter exhaled in pure relief.

"Thank God." He decided to ignore his classmates’ slack jaws. "Fri, could you load Karen here?"

"Of course. Just a second." Now both Friday and Karen were active on Tony's laptop. Peter could have just used Friday, but he felt more comfortable using Karen. He knew neither Friday nor Tony minded if he used the latter's AI, but still.

"Hey Karen, could you bring up the video titled 'Experiment', please?"

"Sure thing, Peter."

Not 2 seconds had passed when a video popped up in giant dimensions. First thing Peter noticed? That was _not_ the video he needed.

The young hero paled as he realized his mistake: his English video was saved under the name "Experiment (1)" because there was already a video named "Experiment".

The one Tony and him had filmed while in the lab, a few days after he had started calling the billionaire "dad".

Oh God.

Oh dear God.

"Karen, stop the video!" The start of it had already been seen, but it was nothing important, just the both of them laughing and playing around, being father and son.

Ok so maybe it _was_ important.

Peter only hoped Karen hurried to shut it off before anything else revealing was seen.

"I'm sorry, Peter, but boss has ditched the meeting." There was a brief pause in which Peter just stared horrified at the computer. "He says 'good luck stopping this video-" a pause- "or the ones that follow'." Peter made a noise from the back of his throat, something between a yelp and a scream.

This couldn't be happening.

There was just no way this was real.

"Karen, pull up the coding." Peter was desperate.

"I'm sorry, Peter, but I can't. I may be your personal AI but Tony is my creator and so has control over me."

Peter's mouth opened in indignation as a frown took over his eyebrows. "The betrayal." He faked pain and took a hand to his heart. Karen laughed.

"I can, however, remind you that the video is still playing."

Peter's playful face immediately morphed into one of fear.

"Alright, so I guess I'll be doing this manually." He hurried to pull up the keyboard, which was made from blue light too, and started typing things at lightspeed.

Another projection popped up next to the video one, this one with codes on it.

Peter cracked his knuckles and started typing furiously.

"Ugh no!" He said as he saw a new video start playing.

As he typed, the video paused, then resumed.

"No!"

Now it glitched, and it stayed like this for almost five seconds before continuing normally.

"Tony I'm gonna kill you." He said, frustrated.

"Boss says he loves you too," Friday said. Peter shot the blue light a glare. "He also says you should try harder."

"It's me against two AIs _and_ Tony Stark, I'm trying my best!"

The video went dark for a moment, but, again, it went on.

"Oh dear God." Peter covered his face for exactly three seconds before returning to his task and continue typing codes to hack into the already hacked system and close the videos.

A few more minutes of this battle passed in which Peter tried everything. He brought up a random vines video to replace the one playing, he deactivated the sound, he paused it again. But the video always resumed as normal, nothing seemed to work.

Until something did.

The part of the projection that had the videos started flickering until it eventually faded away.

Peter relaxed his tense posture and sighed in relief.

Then he turned around and saw his classmates.

"Uhm..." He looked around anxiously. "April fools?"


	11. Peppermint tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha just wanted to help, that's all she wanted to do, but she didn't know peppermint doesn't mix well with spiders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: a bit of self-harm

Did you know peppermint repels spiders because these arachnids smell and taste through the hair on their legs, and peppermint is too strong for them?

Peter didn't.

•×××•

It was a normal afternoon, Manhattan buzzed with activity, Spider-Man was out on patrol, Stark Tower was filled with bantering heroes.

Another normal thing was that Peter was tired, as he hadn't been sleeping as much as he should.

Natasha sighed as she stared out the window at Spider-Man's swinging form.

Two hours later, Peter came back. He entered through the living room's window and plopped down heavily into the couch, next to Natasha.

"Hey, маленький паук."

"Hi, мама паук."

Without turning to look at her, Peter laid down on the couch, resting his head on Nat's lap. He closed his eyes in contentment when she started caressing his hair fondly.

"Are you tired?" she asked, to what he nodded slightly. "You should go to sleep, then." This time, Peter shook his head.

"I-" he yawned- "have a test tomorrow. I need to study."

Peter stood up tiredly and slowly made his way to his room, a concerned gaze following him.

Natasha bit her lip. She didn't like the situation.

The assassin stood up and headed to the kitchen. She knew she wouldn't be able to convince Peter to sleep, so the best she could do was help him by making studying easier.

A few knocks made Peter stop looking uselessly at his book. His eyes fixated on the woman at the door of his room, one of her hands resting on said door and the other holding a steaming cup.

"Peppermint tea," she clarified at Peter's confused expression. "It's said to help concentrate."

Peter smiled at Natasha. He really loved her.

Laughter and heavy steps were suddenly heard through the hallway.

"Clint, Sam, I'm going to kill you!" It was definitely Wanda speaking, and she seemed to be chasing both men.

"Peter, protect me from the angry witch!"

Clint barged into his room while looking behind himself. For this, he didn't see Natasha and accidentally pushed her.

Her agility was enough to stop her from falling, but the cup had no such luck. It was sent flying a few steps from where the red head stood.

More precisely, the cup with peppermint tea was sent flying directly to Peter.

Peter's quick reflexes kicked in as he reached out his hand to grab the cup before it broke, but the contents of it were spilled on the cup's way down.

When the tea made contact with Peter's skin, his eyes went wide and a loud yelp escaped his lips.

"Peter!" Natasha exclaimed, just as Clint started saying sorry a thousand times over.

Peter was scratching his skin on the places the tea touched, a desperate look carved into his face.

"Please, take it off. Take it off. Just make it stop, please," he begged them.

Both spies looked at each other with identical astonished faces before jumping into action.

They approached the teen fast, but they didn't know what they could do to help. Peter had started crying and Natasha was about to go crazy. What was going on?

"Friday, call Tony. Say it's urgent," Natasha told the ceiling. The AI complied and, five seconds later, the billionaire's voice came through the speakers on the wall.

"What's happening?" he asked. He sounded relaxed, completely ignorant to the situation going on inside Peter's room.

"Something's happening, we don't know what," Clint spoke up. "Peter's crying, he says it's too much but we don't-" he was interrupted.

"What happened? Tell me exactly what happened," Tony demanded, a sharp edge on his voice.

"I brought him some peppermint tea but Clint accidentally spilled it over him and now he's crying- I don't understand!" Natasha was frantic, she didn't know what was going on and she couldn't help solve it either. She felt useless.

"What were you thinking, bringing him peppermint tea?" Stark's nervous voice said. There was noise in the background, as if he were hurrying somewhere.

"What-?" Natasha tried, but was cut off.

"Don't end the call. I'll be there in a minute."

"Everything will be alright, маленький паук, I promise," Natasha murmured softly, eyes filled with worry and hurt. She wasn't sure whether she was trying to convince Peter or herself.

The minute felt like an eternity for both spies as they helplessly watched the teen shake, cry and scratch his skin almost hopelessly, begging for it to stop.

It broke their hearts.

Tony careened into the room carrying a syringe with a clear liquid in it. Without ceremonies, he injected Peter with it, and the teen immediately calmed down. He stopped crying, but his breath was still shaky.

Tony turned around with closed eyes and tense shoulders.

"What were you thinking, giving a spider kid peppermint tea?"

"It was meant to help him focus, I don't understand." Natasha was gripping her hair. The situation was driving her insane.

"Peppermint's too strong for spiders," he said in exasperation. "Any contact with it will make their senses dial up and the odor and taste will hurt them." Tony glared at them. "You should research and be careful. Both of you." He sighed.

There were a few moments of silence.

"What was on the syringe?" Clint asked, still nervous.

"A serum strong enough to calm his senses during a sensory overload. Be thankful Bruce and I discovered this formula some weeks ago or I wouldn't have forgiven you."

Natasha looked down. The guilt she felt was eating her alive.

A quiet groan was heard from Peter. Natasha snapped her gaze to him.

"Are you alright? How do you feel? I'm so sorry," she said, giving him no time to answer.

Peter opened his eyes and focused on her. Slowly but surely, he stood up and approached her. He hugged her tightly.

"I'm fine," he said, and the guilt she felt started to lose weight.

Natasha sighed. "I love you, you know that, right?"

"Yes, мама паук, and I love you too."


	12. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter has had a very bad day. Like, really bad. He just needs physical comfort.

Peter had always needed a lot of physical contact for comfort, constantly.

Ned knew about this so they cuddled a lot (platonically, of course). MJ sometimes hugged him too when Ned wasn't around. May also let him hug her all the time, she had raised him and so knew he needed it.

But now Peter was at school, had had a shitty day and there was no one around he could hug. Ned was sick, MJ was abroad and May had to work late.

Only one person to remained available. Tony.

So, when Peter left school, he headed to Stark Tower. He would have probably gone there anyway, since he had a free afternoon and loved to hang out with his mentor, meaning it wasn't a big change of plans.

When he arrived to the Tower, he tried going in through the entrance for Avengers, friends and family, as usual. Problem was, there was a new guard, someone who didn't recognize him and therefore tried to stop him.

"You can't be here," the guard said sternly. Peter was taken aback, as he hadn't been paying much attention to his surroundings.

“I’m- I’m authorized-“ The guard interrupted him.

“Stop playing games, kid, you’re not allowed to be here. Now I’ll ask you to leave before I have to take measures.” Peter was left stuttering.

“But- but-“ 

He so needed a hug.

“Go away!”

“Call Happy!” Peter blurted out. “He’s the head of security and he knows me!”

“Who? The head of security is called Harold, kid.” The guard was getting angry, but Peter was too busy dealing with his indignation and disbelief.

“His name is _Harold_?”

Fortunately for Peter, said man arrived before the guard could tell Peter anything else.

“Yes, Peter, my name’s Harold. Stark started calling me Happy to annoy me and then it stuck. Now, what are you doing here? Did Stark call you?” Happy said. The guard paled when he heard the las part; he’d be fired if Peter told Happy he hadn’t let him enter when he knew the owner of the tower (worse if they were close enough for the kid to have Tony’s number).

“I only came to hang out with Mr. Stark.” He glanced sideways to the guard, “I just arrived. I was about to go up to the lab. Is there anything you need me to do?”

“No, but I don’t think Tony’s in his lab now. Ask Friday.”

“Alright. Thank you, Happy,” Peter said tiredly before turning around and entering the elevator. The guard didn’t stop him

“Hello, Peter,” Friday greeted him.

“Hi, Friday. Take me to wherever Mr. Stark is, please.” The AI didn’t answer and complied.

Peter was taken to a floor where he had been few times. Tony had his office there, but it wasn’t as if he used it much. He followed Friday’s directions and found himself in front of a wooden door, which he assumed to be the one leading to Tony’s office.

He was so tired; the day had been endless without anyone to offer the much-needed physical contact. Flash and his goons had bothered him the whole day because he “had no friends”, he had fallen asleep during class and then gotten detention for it, and, to top it all, he still sustained a gunshot in one of his arms because of patrol the previous day. The guard hadn’t made his mood any better. 

Peter opened the door and marched to Tony, who was about five steps away directly in front of the door. Peter didn’t waste a single second as he threw himself over his father figure and gave him a big hug, too focused in his search for comfort to notice anything.

“Hey, kid,” Tony said in surprise, but then ruffled his curls fondly as he accepted the hug.

“Hey, Mr. Stark,” Peter mumbled with closed eyes. His voice was muffled in Tony’s shirt.

“What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to come and stay with you in the lab. I needed a hug.” Tony, understanding the situation, hugged him tighter. “Did you go home and then come here?”

“No, I just left the school. It’s late because I had detention.” Tony pulled back and gripped Peter’s shoulders as he raised a brow.

“You had detention?” Tony’s Dad Voice ** ™ ** made an apparition.

Peter smiled sheepishly. “I fell asleep during English.” 

Tony opened his mouth to say something but someone clearing their throats snapped them out of their little world. Peter looked over to the place where the noise had come from, startled as he had thought they were alone. 

Captain America was the source of the noise.

“What the-“


	13. PJs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Decathlon team misses their flight and Peter's reluctantly like " 'k hold up I'll take y'all in my private jet"

"We're going to lose the flight! Hurry!"

Peter's Academic Decathlon team run through the airport.

"Not the time for neck pillows, Sally!" Mr. Harrington shouted.

The whole group hastily pulled their luggage as they raced from one end of the building to the other. There had been a confusion and now they were running late. They were all praying the plane hadn't left yet.

"Sir," the teacher called as he approached a staff member, "could you please tell me where can we board this flight?" Harrington showed the plane ticket to the man, who checked the screen that had all the upcoming flights, the ones boarding and the ones that had just taken off.

"I'm sorry, sir, but the plane left five minutes ago."

The teacher paled as he processed the words being said to him. All the money for the plane tickets and hotels, wasted; and they wouldn't be able to participate in the competition they had all studied so much for, the competition they had been waiting for anxiously for almost an entire year. And it was simply because of one mistake.

No one could believe it.

Peter didn't, for sure. He had sacrificed so many hours to practice. Instead of going out on patrol or getting the much-needed sleep, he had stayed with his group and studied until late at night. He couldn't believe those efforts had been in vain.

But what really afflicted Peter was the expressions on his teammates faces.

They had all been looking forward to the trip, and he knew many of them didn't have much money to spare for this kind of things, so paying for a trip they wanted but now wouldn't happen was both an extreme disappointment and an incredible loss.

Peter was conflicted. Maybe he could...?

No, that'd be insane. That'd be suicide. That'd- that'd make his friends happy.

Peter sighed, taking out his phone, and faced the team. "Don't worry, I'll make a call and get us a ride."

Everyone looked at him curiously. Some seemed hopeful, some seemed reticent.

"Dad?" The Decathlon team looked at one another. Wasn't Peter an orphan?

"As the leader, I say that this call concerns all of us and therefore we should be able to listen too," said MJ before proceeding to take the phone off Peter's hand and putting it on speakers. Peter didn't stop her, though he didn't look particularly happy either.

"Hey, kid," was heard from the other side of the line. "I thought you were going on a trip today?"

"Yeah, but we..." Peter hesitated, "we missed the flight." He was looking around nervously.

"Oh... do you need anything, then?"

"Actually, yes." He shut his eyes tightly, as if waiting for doom. "I'm going to take them in my private jet, but I need still need a pilot."

There were a few seconds of silence. The teenagers stared at Peter, some of them open-mouthed.

"You have- you-" Abe started, but Peter shushed him. Most of the others seemed to be dazed, it was obviously too much information to process.

"Which one?" Peter's dad said.

"Any pilot's fine-"

"No, I mean which of your private jets." Everyone snapped their heads towards Peter once again. He blushed.

"The one you stored here in John F. Kennedy. The black one." He averted everyone's gazes.

"That's the smallest you have," the man pointed out. "You sure you want that one? I could have the one at the tower delivered in half an hour; that one's the best you have." There was a pause, as if the man were thinking. "Or the one at LaGuardia, if you want. That's the biggest one."

The Decathlon team only then noticed Peter didn't wear second-hand clothes anymore, and that his phone and watch were expensive ones. How had they all failed to notice that?

"Dad, the one here's more than enough." Peter tiredly ran a hand through his hair.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Sure, sure?" the man insisted.

"Yes, dad. Please, just... send a pilot. That's all I need." Peter was nervous, he was so bad at handling attention.

"Clint and Nat will be there in ten."

"NO!" he blurted out. Everyone was startled by the sudden and seemingly unprecedented effusion.

"Why not?" You could almost hear the man's smirk.

Peter huffed. "You know why!"

"You don't want two Avengers in your private jet?" If this went on, Peter was sure his friends would get whiplash.

"It's not- it's just that-" the teen thought of something quickly- "It can be dangerous. Someone might want to take down the plane if Black Widow and Hawkeye are there."

"Too bad they're already on their way." Peter whined at this response. "Don't worry, they are perfectly capable of protecting themselves and you from danger."

"Are you kidding me, dad? Uncle Clint will tear the jet apart!"

"Your jet, your problem."

"Dad," pause, "you bought the jets."

Silence.

"Oh shit." Peter smiled.

"Bye, dad."

"No- no, kid. Wait until other pilots arrive, don't go with-" Peter cut the call.

There was a moment of complete stillness from everyone.

"Surprise?" Peter finally said to his team with a fake cheerfulness.

No one said anything.

In the ten minutes between the call and the arrival of both Avengers, the Academic Decathlon team was busy staring at Peter with newfound curiosity. Peter pretended to read something in his phone; he hated attention.

Hawkeye and Black Widow eventually got to their location, carrying small bags and wearing casual clothes. People stared but, either out of shock or respect, no one bothered them.

"Hey, Pete," Clint greeted, wearing a big, mischievous grin.

"Hi, Uncle Clint! Hi, мама паук!"

"Hey, ребенок паук," Natasha said as she gave a little side-hug to the teen. "Heard you needed a ride?"

Peter smiled easily. "Yeah, we missed our flight."

"Let's go, then," Clint said.

The whole group silently gathered their belongings and followed Peter, Clint and Natasha to the private jet.

Once every necessary procedure was done and everyone boarded the jet, Clint started exploring the interior of the fancy plane, making a mess.

Peter shot Nat a pleading look that the woman understood, and so she forced Clint to behave. The man pouted like a little kid but stopped making a disaster.

As both Avengers were preparing everything to take off, Natasha got a call.

She turned around. "Kids and Mr. Teacher, we have to wait ten more minutes more than first expected, so we'll be leaving in twenty minutes." The whole group nodded their understanding, but they still had trouble uttering words.

"How did you even get a private jet?" Clint suddenly asked Peter, coming out of the pilot's cabin. "I've been asking for one little jet to your dad for years and he refuses. This one's fancy and comfortably big-" people recalled Peter's dad saying it was the smallest- "so I want one like this. How did you convince him? Tell me your secrets please!" Clint begged exaggeratedly.

Peter laughed a bit at the man's antics. As he began his explanation, the entire plane played attention, including Nat, who had just finished preparing everything. "Okay, so... I was at the tower and I got sick-" he had actually gotten injured while patrolling but he couldn't say that- "and dad forced me to just stay instead of going back home. He went to Target to buy some supplies for me and sent me a message. It said 'Do you need anything special?', to which I replied 'just PJs, I guess', meaning pajamas, of course." Peter took a deep breath. "But my dad's extra, so next thing I know, I'm signing plane ownership documents. He thought I meant private jets and so bought me private jets. In fact, he bought me five because I didn't specify quantity."

Clint blinked. "Was that seriously all I had to do?"

Someone spoke up as they entered the jet. "You're not my kid so it wouldn't have worked for you anyway," Tony Stark stated calmly.

"Dad!" Peter called happily.

And, if people were mainly quiet during most of the seven-hour-long ride, it was probably because they were too busy picking their jaws up from the floor.


	14. Bullying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't understand; I didn't hit him as hard as I hit you, or kick him in the ribs as much as I kick you, I didn't beat him for as long as I beat you, and he still screamed his lungs out and he's still in the fucking hospital because he lost so much blood and cracked one rib- I don't understand."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: brief description of an anxiety attack, mentions of blood and descriptions of injuries and bullying.

When Peter was yanked inside an empty classroom just after school ended, he was taken aback.

It wasn't the fact that someone had pulled him, no; his Spidey Sense had warned him about that. Peter was surprised for the person who pulled him into the classroom, and the expression on said person's face.

"Flash?" Peter asked cautiously. The other teen looked thoroughly distressed. He ran a hand through his hair in an anxious gesture but ignored Peter as he mumbled under his breath.

"I don't understand, what happened? Why? How?"

"Flash, calm down." Eugene could be his bully, but Peter wasn't just going to stand there, watching a fellow classmate have an anxiety attack without doing anything to help. "Follow my breathing pattern. In-" Peter took a deep breath, prompting Flash to copy him- "And out."

It took some minutes, but Flash eventually relaxed. He plopped down on one of the desks and gripped his head with both his hands.

"What happened?" Peter asked. He didn't want to intrude but he still wanted to know.

Flash stared at him from behind his hands for some seconds, enough to make Peter uncomfortable.

"What are you?" the bully asked. It took Peter by surprise, of course, and he paled ever so slightly.

"What- what do you mean?"

Eugene took a deep breath before beginning his exploration. "Today... a kid pissed me off. He started insulting me, tried to make everyone hate me. So I beat him."

Peter didn't like hearing that. Flash was supposed to stay away from other students as long as he let himself be hit, but that hadn't been the case. The young hero took an infimum step back, almost unconsciously.

"I hit him and I kicked him and I did to him half the things I do to you regularly." Peter could see where this was heading, and he didn't like it one bit.

"And...?"

"And he's on the hospital."

Flash's hands, that had stayed in his face the whole conversation, were suddenly pulled down.

"I don't understand; I didn't hit him as hard as I hit you, or kick him in the ribs as much as I kick you, I didn't beat him for as long as I beat you, and he still screamed his lungs out and he's still in the fucking hospital because he lost so much blood and cracked one rib- I-" Flash's breath became ragged again. "I don't understand what happened."

"Flash, I-"

"Don't lie to me, Parker. There's something about you... I need to know what it is, I need to understand." His face displayed such desperation that Peter struggled to bite his tongue.

"I- I can't, okay?! Dont ask because I can't answer!" Peter couldn't just tell his bully about his alter ego. He couldn't tell him that getting stabbed and shot repeatedly had made him develop an immense pain tolerance, and that was the reason he never screamed when Flash beat him. He couldn't tell him that his enhanced healing made the numerous cracked bones heal within a few hours, enough for no one to notice or for it to influence his life much. He couldn't tell him that he was letting himself be hit when he was more than capable of defending himself, and that he did so in order to protect the rest of the students.

Flash's eyes showed raw emotion, more desperation and frustration and _pain_ that Peter had thought the bully capable of feeling. And yet, Peter couldn't say anything, for it would put his family, his friends, his school, himself _and_ Flash in danger. Peter couldn't afford that.

He shook his head. "No, Flash. You'll just have to trust me on this one."

Flash stood up all of a sudden, shaking his head as well. "No, Parker, you can't expect me to let this drop!" He was dismayed, he really couldn't. "I _need_ to know."

Peter sighed worriedly but slowly sat on the floor in front of his bully, his back pressed against the cold wall of the classroom.

"Why? Because he's gonna tell on you? Flash, if I keep a secret it's for a reason, I won't just give it up because you're about to get rightfully punished for your actions-"

"I'm not stupid enough to beat someone that'll tell on me, Parker." Flash sent a weak glare his way, but ended up plopping back down into the desk he had previously occupied.

"Then why do you need to know?"

"Because it seems I stepped over the line without even knowing it. If what I did to the boy happens to you every day, twice as bad, I need to know _right now_." Flash swallowed.

"Look, Flash... seriously, just let-"

"And the boy got medical attention, you never do." Eugene was ignoring his attempts to avoid the question. Damn.

"Alright, I do deal with it every day-" Flash violently punched the desk he sat on, his face contorting in what looked like guilt and horror. Peter hurried to explain, "But I am different, I can deal with it. It's fine. As long as you don't beat anyone else, it's fine."

Flash closed his eyes and stayed in silence for nearly a minute before he looked up again. His eyes seemed almost broken as he stared at his bullying victim.

"I'm sorry." The whisper rang loud in the silent classroom.

"As long as you promise you won't beat another person other than me, I don't care."

The silence extended for some more seconds.

"I promise I won't beat anyone ever again."


	15. Peter and Tony break Instagram (thrice)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Tony do an Instagram live, but Irondad and Spiderson are too much for Instagram. It collapses. Thrice.

Peter had decided that it was time for Spider-Man to have an Instagram account.

@Official_Biderman

Yeah... @Official_Spiderman was taken. That's it.

"Hey guys, I'm Spider-Man!" Peter said. He was wearing regular clothes but obvioulsy wore a mask to hide his face.

Comments started coming.

_ "No shit Sherlock" _

_ "Wow, is this real?" _

_ "OhMyGodHisVoice" _

Peter laughed. "Don't use that kind of language, we don't want Captain America arriving and giving us a lecture, do we?" A hundred swear words were suddenly commented by everyone. Peter ignored them. "And yes, this is real," he confirmed.

"I need to show you this amazing view," Peter said suddenly, and then held his phone to the window, showing he was at the top of Stark Tower. After that, he put his phone against the wall and locked it there with webs. 

Peter sat down in front of the phone, crossing his legs and hiding his fists behind the sleeves of his over-sized, knit, green sweater.

_ "He's so cute I can't-" _

_ "How can this baby be Spider-Man? He's so tiny" _

_ "HIS HANDS- HAVE YOU SEEN HIS HANDS? NEITHER DO I, HE'S SO F ADORABLE" _

_ "Why are you at Stark Towers?" _

Peter laughed at the comments, blushing a bit behind his mask. "I'm at Stark Towers because..." he trailed off thinking. "I'm always here. I guess it's just 'cause I love hanging out with Mr. Stark-" Alarms started sounding. The comment section went wild in panic. Peter face-palmed. 

"Protocol: Underoos Is Calling Me Mr. Stark Again is being activated," Friday's voice rang out after five seconds of the alarm blaring.

There was a silence for three exact seconds. Peter didn't speak. The viewers didn't comment. Everyone stayed frozen in place.

Until Tony Stark barged into the room and started scolding Peter.

"What did I say about calling me Mr. Stark?" Tony asked, hands in his hips.

"Not to call you that," Peter said, looking down.

"And what did you do?"

"I called you that."

"So what are you gonna do now?" Peter looked up.

"Hug you and not call you that again." Tony's gaze softened as a small smile graced his lips.

"Come here, P-" Peter was already approaching his mentor when he realized the man hadn't noticed the camera and was just about to reveal his identity unknowingly. Spider-Man thanked his fast reflexes as he was able to cover Tony's mouth one second before a disaster happened.

"There's people watching," he clarified at Tony's confused eyes.

"Oh," was all the man said. He looked around the room before finally spotting the phone sticked to the wall. 

"But I still want a hug." Peter didn't wait for a response as he made himself comfortabe in his father figure's arms. Tony smiled and hugged him back.

"What are you doing now? Is that..." Tony looked closer at the screen, "Instagram?"

"Yep. I'm doing a live right now, wanna join me?"

"Definitely."

The both sat in front of the phone again and started reading the comments.

_ "THEY ARE SO ADORABLE" _

_ "I refuse to believe they're anything but father and son. Mentor? Friend? Relative? No, Tony's his dad. Fight me." _

_ "WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT WE WOULD EVER SEE TONY'S SOFT SIDE AND DAD MODE? THIS IS FUCKING GOLD" _

_ "Tony calls him 'Underoos' oh my god" _

"Hi Spidey followers! No need to introduce myself so..." Tony started.

"Let's answer questions, then."

"Alright. First of all, yes, I know he's adorable. Say that about me, though, and you won't see daylight again." He smiled. The comments slowed down for half a second, then resumed even faster than before.

"Hey, what did I say about threatening innocent people?" Peter turned and asked Tony.

Tony took in a deep breath and stared at Peter in silence. Peter raised his eyebrows. "But she's not innocent!" It was almost a whine. It made the comments explode.

"Oh, is she not?" Peter crossed his arms, still looking at his dad.

"Fine," he gave in, reluctantly. Tony turned to the phone again. "Sorry." He looked away. Peter smiled.

"Alright! Next comment... So, you refuse to belive we're anything but father and son? That's because we are." Instagram literally stopped working. It collapsed. News pages and TV channels started replaying their live. Tony and Peter cackled in the latter's room.

Later that day, when Instagram finally came back to normal, Peter decided to do another live to clear doubts, as the other had been cut short.

"I'm back! Ok, so the live I did earlier today was... something." Peter stopped. "But I'm here to answer questions so go ahead."

_ "Are you actually Tony's son?" _

"Yes, Tony's my dad, _but_ " he hurried to specify, "not biologically. And sadly not legally either..."

"Yet," a voice said from the doorway.

Peter looked up so fast he almost got whiplash. "Wait are you serious?" Tony nodded with a smirk. "For real?" At the confirmation, Peter jumped up from the floor and literally threw himself at Tony, who fell back for the fierce hug.

"Geez, kid, careful. Super strength, remember?" Peter backed away, still in the floor.

"Are you fine? Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry!" Peter scrambled to his feet, still worried and apologizing. Tony chuckled.

"I'm fine. Now... I think you should just cut the live before you break Instagram again." Peter looked at his phone, which, even with unimaginably advanced technology, wasn't working properly due to the immense amount of comments.

"Oh," was all Peter said before shooting webs at the device, pulling it towards himself and ending the live just as the screen went black. He could care less about Instagram after what he had been just told.

After explanations were given and the overwhealming emotions calmed down, Peter decided to do yet another live.

"I'm so sorry Instagram managers," was the first thing he said. "And hello followers! I see now there's three hundred million people following me, which is just... wow," Peter said. You could hear the smile in his voice and feel his good mood. "Anyway, I'm just here to answer questions, this time for real. To make sure there are no interruptions, I'm in the ceiling."

" _I wish I could do that to avoid people"_

_ "I love him so much, when did I even start loving him?" _

_ "He's so damn cute" _

Peter laughed. "Yeah, being able to stick to the ceiling has been very useful to avoid people, I do it all the time. It drives dad insane, but what can I say? Now, let's start with some questions."

_ "How long has he known you are Spider-Man?" _

Peter laughed at the memory. "Okay so that's a funny story. I had just come back from school, entered my house telling my guardian about the fancy car outside and suddenly I turn around to find Tony freaking Stark in my living room. I didn't know him back then, he was just a celebrity I admired a lot- and yet there he was, eating cookies and waiting for me. He then told me he knew who I was, gave me a new and enhanced suit, took me to Germany, offered me to be a part of the Avengers, stayed updated when I declined-"

The app closed.

Peter shut his eyes. He had mentioned being offered a place in the Avengers, hadn't he?


	16. Peter and Tony do an Instagram live (again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter does, yet again, an Instagram live. But an idea sparks in Tony's mind. A ship, actually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of Peter and Tony break Instagram (thrice)!

"Hello New York!" Peter said brightly.

"You know you're followed by people from across the world, not just New York, right?" Tony asked him.

Peter turned sharply. "Wait, seriously?"

"Yes, Underoos." Peter's mouth hung open.

He took a few seconds to collect himself, turned to face the camera again and said, "Well then, hello world!"

_ "I can't- he's literally a cinnamon roll" _

_ "So cute, thinking he isn't one of the more famous super heroes on Earth" _

_ "I just wonder what he looks like under the mask. I'm betting he looks adorable" _

Tony read the unceasing comments and started speaking to the camera. "First of all: yes, he's a cinnamon roll no doubt, and that guy's right, he's adorable under the mask." Tony shoved Peter's arm playfully.

Peter crossed his arms and looked at the billionaire with unimpressed eyes. "I know I'm adorable, dad, no need to remind me." He winked at the camera. The comments went crazy.

_ "Will you be answering questions?" _

"Yes, we will," Peter told the audience happily.

"We will?"

"We will."

There were two exact seconds of silence in which Tony stared at Peter. He blinked. Peter smiled at the camera.

"We will," Tony confirmed defeatedly.

"Alright people, send us your questions."

_ "When will the adoption happen?" _

Peter looked at his father, who was looking back at him, before he started speaking. "Um, actually-" Half the world held their breaths- "We may or may not have already done it."

Fortunately, that comment didn't collapse the platform.

_ "Tony, is it hard to be the parent of a spider kid?" _

The billionaire shook his head while staring at the floor with unfocused eyes, as if he were remembering something traumatic.

"I'll answer that for you!" his kid said. "I know I can be... difficult... sometimes, but I'm not that bad." 

"Not that bad?" Tony asked in disbelief. "Kid, you literally slept on the ceiling so I couldn't wake you up this morning."

Peter twitched his head to the side. "Okay, maybe a little bit difficult." Tony opened his mouth to add something but Peter cut him off. "Next question!"

The viewers protested but dropped the topic.

_ "You said you declined being an Avenger, why?" _

Peter sighed lightly. "I'm just friendly neighborhood Spider-Man." He shrugged.

_ "Tony, when you made him the new suit, what did you add?" _

"I can't give you details on the suit, it would be a disadvantage it any future opponent is watching this," Tony deadpanned.

"But I wanna tell them about Karen!" Peter complained.

_ "Karen?" _

_ "Is Karen his girlfriend?" _

"Karen is my AI!" Peter said cheerfully.

_ "OH MY GOD HE'S SO PURE" _

_ "He- he named his AI Karen" _

_ "Karen as in Sponge Bob Karen?" _

"Yep" Peter told them. Tony face-palmed. "Karen, say hi!"

"Hello, viewers," she greeted. Peter smiled.

_ "Do you go to school?" _

"I- I-" Peter stopped for a second. "I'm home-schooled."

"Yes, he is," Tony confirmed, a devilish smile making its way to his lips. "Otherwise, he'd go to Midtown with his _friend_."

The comment section was just a bunch of question marks.

_ "Is he friends with Peter Parker?" _

Flash. Of course, it had to be Flash.

"Indeed. Spidey and Peter Parker are... very _close_ friends," Tony said.

_ "Do I sense a ship?" _

_ "*Biderman has entered the chat*" _

_ "Spidey and Peter- I stan" _

Peter looked at the screen, horrified.

Tony cracked up. 


	17. Spider-Man and Peter Parker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People ship Peter and Spidey. Peter loses faith in humanity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 3 of Peter and Tony break Instagram (thrice)!

Peter really couldn't believe it.

People had started shipping him- with himself.

That wasn't even the worst part, no. The worst part was that no one had discovered his identity.

Now, don't get him wrong, he was grateful, but _please_. His voice, his complexion, his personality, the fact that they had never even been seen together.

Over half a billion followers. And no one had fucking figured it out.

Peter started to lose faith in humanity.

.×××.

"Hey, Peter!" Ned greeted as he arrived to Midtown High.

"Hi, Ned," Peter greeted back, smiling at his friend. They did their handshake before going inside.

As soon as they crossed the doors of the school, silence took over the hallway. Peter sighed; this had been going on for a week now, since the Instagram live.

A faint murmur spread through the place, and then the usual mob of students approached Peter.

"Peter, do you know Tony Stark? He's Spidey's dad, after all," someone said.

"What is it like being best friends with Spider-Man?" one asked, pushing his way to the front.

"Peter, Spider-Man's best friend? Are you insane? They're a couple!" another student confronted the last one.

A series of exclamations were heard as more and more people crowded Peter and discussed the ship between themselves.

"They're so obviously dating!" a random boy said.

"Tony Stark said they were friends!" a cheerleader entered the conversation.

"It was sarcasm, you idiot!" the boy protested.

"Didn't you see Spidey's face when Tony said that? He was horrified." The cheerleader stayed firm.

"No, I didn't see his face, and you didn't either, since he wears a mask."

The discussion quickly escalated and mere seconds later, a group of over ten people were screaming at each other.

"Peter, Peter!" Someone poked his shoulder repeatedly. When he turned around, be found a girl with big glasses looking expectantly at him, taking profit of the fight to approach him unnoticed. "Could you present me to Spider-Man?" Peter stared at her, eyes filled with anxiety. The anxiety was because of the painful noise and the overwhelming situation, but the girl didn't know that as she hurried to explain. "I swear I'm not trying to steal your boyfriend, I just want to thank him for saving my cat!"

"I'll tell him." He closed his eyes. Everything was too much.

Peter escaped the situation.

.×××.

"Are you alright?" Ned asked during lunch. Peter was unusually silent, looking around nervously. The question shook the hero out of his trance.

"What? Oh yeah, I'm fine." He ran a hand through his face tiredly.

"No, you're not, Peter."

"No, I can't be with everything that's going on," Peter snapped but then realized his mistake. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it that way, it's not your fault. It's just that... the whole reason why I wanted my identity to stay a secret was because I didn't want to expose the people I care about to threats and I didn't want people getting on the way of Spider-Man to talk to me. Now both things are happening even without my identity being exposed and I just don't know what to do." His explanation had become a rant, but it was cut short by an unknown boy approaching their table.

"Hi," the boy said as he sat down next to Peter. "I don't mean to be rude or intrusive but I wanted to know... are you really Spider-Man's boyfriend?"

Peter was tired and so, so done. "Yes, Spider-Man's my boyfriend." The sarcasm was evident on his voice, but the boy didn't seem to catch on as he looked at Peter with newfound curiosity.

"Really? And does Tony Stark approve?"

"Oh, yes, he adores me," Peter deadpanned. He stared at the boy. The boy stared back with wide eyes.

The boy stood up quickly and hurried back to his group of friends, who were watching from afar with not much discretion.

Peter furrowed his brows. The boy had believed him?

An idea started forming on his mind and, for the first time in a week, Peter smiled slightly while thinking of school the following day.

.×××.

When he crossed the front doors the next day, he was not only mentally prepared for what would come but also a little excited to put his plan into action.

When people approached him, he didn't turn back and run, instead, he waited for their questions to start. If the boy had taken him seriously, the rumors had surely reached everyone by then.

"When did you start dating?"

"Who asked who to be boyfriends?"

"Are you very close?"

"When did all this happen?"

No questions about whether or not they were a couple. Then the news _had_ gotten to everyone already.

"If you ask one by one, I'll answer," Peter said. A surprised but pleased silence fell over the hallway for half a second, then hands shot up in the air. Peter chose a random girl.

"When you started dating, did you know he was Spider-Man?" she asked.

"When we started dating, he wasn't Spider-Man yet," he replied. Whispers crossed the crowd. No one knew anything about the super hero, so knowing that he hadn't had his powers all his life was new. Peter chose someone else, another girl.

"How did you find out he had acquired super powers, then?"

"He never told me, you know? He just refused to hug me for a week straight and I knew something was up. Turns out he didn't know how to control his strength and was afraid of hurting me, but I found out and helped him learn to handle his powers." The crowd cooed. Peter selected a boy next.

"How did Tony Stark react to your relationship?"

"Fun fact: I knew Tony before my boyfriend met him." The students looked at each other, dumbfounded. Peter continued, "The internship Ned told you about was actually real. I presented them. I knew Tony need help with some super hero stuff so I said 'Hey, what about Spider-Man?' and he was like 'What's up with Spider-Man?' and then I said 'You know he's my boyfriend, right?' and then he freaked out."

"And then he ended up adopting him?" a girl asked.

"Yes, that's my boyfriend's effect over people. No one can help adoring him. Tony also fell victim of his charm; not one week after I introduced them, Tony already had a room for him at the tower." Peter paused. "I can even say Tony would do anything my boyfriend asked him. I once saw him singing Pen-Pineapple-Apple-Pen because Spidey asked him to."

The crowd went crazy. Peter smirked.

Payback's a bitch.


	18. Tik Tok outfit swap challenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter's done. He decides to make a challenge with his "boyfriend" for Tik Tok to show it. The outfit swap challenge, to be more precise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last part of Peter and Tony break Instagram (thrice)!

Many people claimed they didn't use Tik Tok, that the platform was a disgrace of humanity and that they would never give in to such atrocity.

That was, until someone found Peter Parker's account and it went viral. Then everyone had Tik Tok.

Eleni Ariti wasn't the exception.

As soon as she heard the news, she took out her phone and hurried to download the app she had vowed to destroy.

It didn't matter anymore, her pride was a fair price to see her OTP.

Maybe they'd finally be seen together.

With hopes up and shiny eyes, Eleni created an account and then looked for Peter's.

Her friends could wait, she'd follow them later. They would surely understand, as they were probably doing the same thing as her.

Eleni swiped through the videos, fascinated by the lucky boy who was Spider-Man's boyfriend.

She finally came across the last video Peter had posted; the first one featuring the young hero.

Eleni couldn't believe it.

With a special glint on her eye and excitement bubbling inside of her, she started watching the video.

"I saw people were doing the outfit swap challenge with their couples," a text below Peter's face said. He seemed to be walking through his apartment.

The camera was suddenly turned around and Spider-Man appeared. He was sitting in the couch, apparently distracted, but with his mask on.

Another text appeared. "Here we go, then..."

Eleni's breath caught on her throat. Would Spider-Man show his face? He would surely stay with his mask, wouldn't he?

The clip showing Spidey in the couch was cut, and now he could be seen sitting in the ceiling, looking down to the place where people assumed was Peter. The clip cut, now it showed Peter looking up, to where people assumed was Spidey.

Peter reached out a hand slowly to the ceiling. The video showed again Spider-Man, who was doing the same but reaching down.

Eleni wasn't breathing.

But holy fuck, how could she even be bothered with something as useless as breathing? That wasn't the moment.

Both the subtle background music and Spidey's slow movements were cut short as he abruptly turned the hand to his own face.

He took off the mask.

"Oh, wait, I don't need to change."

Eleni screamed.


	19. Fanfiction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter discovers fanfiction. But not any fanfiction, nope, he discovers Irondad and Spiderson fanfictions. And he loves them.

We know Spider-Man and Iron Man were both incredibly famous super heroes, so they obviously had fans out there in their world. This also means that there were memes made about them, and probably fanart too. And, surely, fanfiction.

Come on, you can't tell me none of the Avengers never found at least one fanfiction about themselves! Makes no sense.

But Peter did, once.

It wasn't an accident, he had been told by his Instagram followers to download an app called Wattpad (abort mission, fandom. I repeat, _abort mission_ ), so he did.

He had been told to look for something: "Irondad". He had no idea what that was, but due to the amount of people telling him about it, he was certainly curious.

It was _not_ what he had expected.

He wasn't even expecting anything, but he would have never thought about it. He hadn't been hoping it was that. He had definitely never dreamt of it. Nope.

Okay, that may be false (and it's not because I, the author, wanted it to be. No, that's canon.)  
(Fight me.)

And so Peter discovered the world of fanfiction, following the advice given by his fans and therefore avoiding "lemon" and "smut", whatever that was.

(No, I don't know what that is.)

(Alright, maybe I do, but Peter doesn't have to know about it.)

(Moving on...)

As happens to every person who discovers fanfiction, Peter became addicted. Soon, he had his library filled with fanfics of Irondad and Spiderson, but who could judge him? Clearly not us.

The problem started when he read at night in the tower. Now, he wasn't stupid enough to read fanfiction about Tony and him while ignoring real Tony, so he almost never used his phone when they were together. But at night? No matter if he was in his apartment or in the tower, he always read.

That in itself wasn't the problem. No, the problem was that Tony randomly decided to go check on him one night, only to find him using his phone.

"Peter," Tony started cautiously, "what are you doing?"

Said teen, who had been too engrossed in a story to pay attention to his Spidey Sense, snapped his head to the man and quickly blocked his phone. His cheeks flared in the dimly lit bedroom.

"Nothing," he stuttered out.

Tony's eyes went wide. He tried to say something but no words came out. "You-? Um-"

Peter's eyes widened too when he realized what Tony thought he had been doing. "No! Not that. That's disgusting!" He shuddered. Tony relaxed.

"Then what were you doing?"

"Uh-" Peter panicked. "I was texting my girlfriend!"

Tony stared at Peter. "You don't have a girlfriend."

The spiderling stared back at him. "And how would you know that? I may have recently gotten a secret girlfriend, for all you know."

"Peter," Tony started slowly, "you're _gay_."

Peter blinked.

"Damn, you right."

Silence.

"So you're not going to tell me what you were doing?"

Peter shifted uncomfortably in his bed. He was noticeably anxious. "No?"

Tony didn't press further. If the kid didn't want to tell him, the man wouldn't force him. He'd speak when he was ready, and Tony respected that.

But that didn't mean he wasn't curious.

Tony didn't invade Peter's privacy, he would never do such thing, but he did start paying closer attention to everything he did or said while he used his phone. It was a little difficult, since he only used it around him when Tony was working on something else and couldn't pay attention to him. But Tony managed, as one does when curious.

One particular afternoon, when Tony was finishing some boring paperwork, the man noticed Peter was smiling at his phone and perked up.

"Hey, Pete, what are you doing?" Peter snapped his gaze up at him, the smile faltering for a second before returning to the usual brightness it held around his father figure.

"I'm just reading," was the teen's simple response.

"You know you can ask me for a book if you want to, right? I don't want you straining your vision." Tony's such a Dad.

"These aren't in stores, unfortunately." Peter had, understandably, began answering evasively. Tony raised a single brow.

"And why's that? What are you reading?"

The spider kid glanced sideways for half a second, looking not uncomfortable but nervous. "Uh-"

"It's fine, kid. Relax." Tony intended to go back to the paperwork waiting in his desk, but Peter spoke up.

"It's- it's fanfiction." Peter paused. "I like it."

The teen didn't stop to see the man's reaction as he stood up and bid him goodnight.

"Jarvis, what is fanfiction?" And, as the AI answered him, he smiled softly.

Tony didn't press the matter any further; he could see Peter didn't want to talk about it and he had no wish to upset him, so Tony bit his tongue.

However, when they were both in the labs one morning, something else happened that caught the billionaire's attention.

He hadn't been doing anything major, just cleaning up his favorite working table, and so Peter stood back for a while (after offering help, of course, but Tony declined). Conversation hadn't sparked because MCR blared through the speakers and none of the occupants of the lab seemed interested in disturbing the atmosphere. Therefore, Peter fished his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through it for some minutes.

"Awwww," was suddenly heard through the room. It wasn't very loud, but still noticeable.

Tony turned around with a quirked eyebrow. "And what are you reading now?" he asked.

Peter blushed but answered. "The beginning of a chapter is adorable. The fanart is, actually."

"Can I see?" Tony wasn't trying to be invasive, he was actually interested and wanted to know what made the kid happy.

Hesitantly, Peter showed Tony the lit screen of the phone.

"You have an Iron Man action figure," Tony said slowly, as a small smile graced his features.

Peter pulled his phone back a bit, nervousness and curiosity mixing up as he watched his father figure.

"It's cute, I like it."

Peter smiled. Tony smiled back.

"So, Irondad and Spiderson fan fictions, I'm guessing." The man smirked as he spoke. Peter's face changed colors to resemble a tomato, all the way up from his neck to his ears. He took an infinitesimal step backwards, but any other movement got stopped by the man. "I like those, too. They're unexpectedly accurate."

Peter's eyes snapped up at his mentor. "You- you-?"

"If I see you as a son? Pete, you shouldn't even have to ask."

Peter bolted right into Tony's arms, catching him off guard, but it was a good kind of surprised.

He didn't step away as he asked, "Are we there yet?"

Tony wrapped his arms tightly around the kid. "Yes, we are there, son."

(You hear screaming on the background? That's me.)


	20. PPPS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flash punches Peter. The PPPS just won't have it.

"You're pathetic, Parker!" Flash said, before delivering a punch into Peter's face.

Peter didn't even have time to look frightened before the situation that scared him took place.

First thing that happened? Tony.

Stark wouldn't let his son be harassed, he couldn't allow it in any way, so it was no surprise (just for Peter actually but whatever) when he suddenly stepped out of a car Peter could have sworn wasn't there just mere seconds ago, holding a phone and with his Iron Man nanotech suit expanding through his body.

"Now that I own the school, I'm demanding the immediate expulsion of Eugene Thompson," he was saying calmly while his suit displayed the great variety of weapons it had in Flash's direction.

Peter started sweating.

Without any kind of warning, three arrows were shot towards the bully simultaneously. One flew just above his head while the other two flew to the sides of his head, scraping him.

Clint jumped down from the roof of the building in front of the school, smiling unapologetically. "Oops, I missed... I wonder how would three well aimed arrows look like..."

Another car hastily pulled up in front of the school, parking sideways, though "parking" is too strong of a word to actually describe the way all the occupants of the car (even the driver) came out without waiting for it to stop moving.

Steve, Natasha, Bruce and Bucky all came out of the car, each showing their threats in a different way.

Steve was the first to approach Flash, giving up any kind of language restriction he ever had in order to defend the spiderling.

Next was Bruce, who was breathing heavily. He walked with a firm step until he was besides Tony, Clint and Steve.

“He’s all yours,” he said before turning into the Hulk, who growled menacingly but stayed in place.

Bucky just gripped the car with his metal arm, raised it and threw it over Flash’s head while making direct eye contact with the boy. None of the superheroes batted an eyelash.

Natasha slowly walked forwards, taking countless daggers out of hidden pockets, as if checking they were all still in place. What was most scary was that she wasn’t looking at the weapons while she took them out, and it was clear that she had no problem remembering each and every single one of the daggers strapped to her body, nor taking them out swiftly without making a single sound. мама паук had arrived, and she’d be damned before letting this go.

“And when you pull that part, boom!” a new voice said. It was Scott, who had just arrived with Cassie. Just a father explaining his six-year-old daughter how to use a gun. “Now point there, honey,” he said, signaling Flash, and Cassie complied happily.

A sudden red light enveloped the place as Wanda arrived flying to the place, her eyes and hands burning an intense crimson.

“Not my baby brother, you scumbag.”

Another person was flying next to her, but no one had noticed as their attention was with the scary witch. Then the other person started directing lasers a step away from Flash with a poker face, and people noticed Vision had arrived and wouldn’t be taking any of the bully’s shit.

Rainbow-colored lights lit up the place, and Thor was left in the middle of it when they disappeared, holding his hammer high and with lightning sparkling through his eyes and body. But he wasn’t alone, no. Beside him was Loki, who smiled wickedly.

“What did you just do to the cinnamon roll?” he asked Flash calmly.

Everyone decided to ignore that the psychotic murderer was free in favor of Peter’s protection.

The next person to arrive was Sam. He was flying in his suit, and Redwing was beside him. He didn’t say a word as the drone approached the bully and pointed three guns, two daggers and a chainsaw towards Flash.

Suddenly, a jet and a spaceship landed in front of the school.

Out of the jet came Shuri and T’Challa, holding small guns that probably had the power to destroy the Earth if they wanted it to.

“You deserve to listen to the vine of Harry Potter in the train on loop for the rest of your life.” Peter gasped.

Then the guardians unloaded their spaceship carrying unknown weapons.

Quill was the first to speak. “Hey Gamora, what do these guns do exactly?” he asked, but he was looking at Flash.

“Don’t know,” she answered, with her eyes set in the same person. “Peter, Drax, Rocket, Groot, who wants to find out first?”

Unprecedentedly, hundreds of cars pulled up on the street. Rhodey stepped out of one of them.

“I brought the army.”


	21. Running laps and an insufferable Flash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crack. That's it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 AM nonsense  
> You've been warned

Peter was running laps in PE. He had eight left, which was basically nothing for him, but Flash just wouldn't leave him alone and he was getting frustrated.

"Hey, Parker, are you done being stupid?" the bully taunted.

Peter just sighed, letting it slide. He wasn't sure how much he would be able to do that, though, as he was tired from patrolling all night and was in a bad mood.

"Are you going to meet with your best friend Tony Stark after school?" Flash asked mockingly.

Peter took in a deep breath and continued doing laps, trying his best to ignore Flash.

Only five laps left.

"What? Are you too weak to defend yourself now?"

Peter gave up. He started running faster so as to leave the bully behind. Flash kept up with him anyway.

"You are pathetic, Parker."

Peter ran faster. Only four laps left.

"Try again, loser."

Peter summoned his enhanced abilities and left everyone behind, but Flash used his advantage of having paid to never get detention and started shouting so Peter could hear him anyway.

"Is that the best you got?"

"Oh, fuck it!" Peter mumbled, before jumping into the ceiling and continuing the laps up there.

"You're meaningless, Parker!" Flash shouted into a megaphone.

"Where did he even-?"

Peter got tired of the boy's voice so he pointed his web shooters and webbed Flash's mouth. He smiled at his work.

"You try to seem smart but you're so stupid it hurts!" Flash held his phone next to his head with a poker face as the audio reproduced.

"Are you serious?!" Peter complained from the ceiling while still doing laps, before taking the phone with a web and turning it off.

"You're worthless and disgusting!" Flash's voice rang from the school speakers, while the boy held a pressed button in his hand.

Peter groaned and destroyed the button by stepping in it.

Only one lap left.

"You are lame, Parker!" again, it was Flash's voice that resonated through the place, but this time it came from the dirigible flying by.

Peter dropped the laps.

" _Are you fucking kidding me?!_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What even is this


	22. Girlfriend?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers are sure Peter and MJ are a couple, there's a lot of proof. How adorable.

The Avengers had a theory.

"What was that theory?", you may be asking yourself.

Well, the theory was that Peter and MJ were a couple. Though, with Natasha believing it, it might as well be a fact.

But Peter said nothing.

One would think that he would immediately turn to his loving, dysfunctional family as soon as he got to be the boyfriend of a girl he liked, but that didn't happen.

The Avengers could only watch as Peter walked off the elevator, whispering something to MJ, who whispered back. Not even the people with enhanced hearing could pick up what they said, but they didn't really think they needed to. It was pretty obvious to everyone.

So, when the pair greeted them and then proceeded to completely ignore them, they just smiled.

•×××•

"I just don't know why he doesn't tell us himself," Steve complained once during breakfast. Peter hadn't woken up yet.

"Maybe he thinks he doesn't need to. I mean, they're so open about their relationship, it would be useless. And we already know her, she comes to the tower basically every day, so it isn't like he can bring her to dinner to present her or something like that," Tony said. The rest of the team agreed.

As they went back to their breakfast, MJ and Peter entered the kitchen in their pajamas.

Tony raised a brow. "She stayed here last night?"

Peter turned to his dad. "Yep." Then he turned to MJ again and got her something to eat without having to ask what she wanted.

They settled in the table, and Peter sat awkwardly in silence as everyone stared at him. He cleared his throat lightly.

"MJ, I need help with... you know what." The girl nodded with a smirk. Everyone still stared. "Are you free on Valentine's day at midday?"

"Yep. Midday will be fine."

The teens picked up their things and left.

The Avengers looked at each other.

"He just invited her on a date in front of us-" Steve started.

"For Valentine's day. Isn't it cute?" Clint asked cheerfully.

"It is, Legolas," Tony agreed. "And she stayed the night," he added. "If this doesn't confirm it, I don't know what does."

"Notice how they were super secretive too? Have been for a while. It's painfully obvious that they're a couple," Natasha commented.

Everyone hummed in agreement. The subject was dropped.

•×××•

Eventually, Valentine's day came.

"Where are you taking MJ?" Tony asked curiously during breakfast. Everyone at the table stopped to listen to his answer.

Peter tilted his head a little to the side. "She was going to come here... Why?"

"Here?" Clint asked in confusion.

"You say I should take her somewhere else?"

"Of course you should! I recommend you do a picnic, that always works out," Wanda told him.

Peter frowned slightly. "But we need to be close so that we can go to my room after lunch to do what she'll come here to do," he stated in confusion. Everyone choked.

"I'm sorry, Peter, what?" Tomy asked. He didn't want to know, he didn't want to know, he didn't want to know-

"We have to pick the clothes for tonight's date." Peter was so lost at the moment.

"A date to pick clothes for another date?" Steve, too, didn't understand what was going on.

"What do you mean?"

"Why would you have a date with MJ to pick clothes for another date with her?"

"A date... with MJ?" Peter blinked in absolute bewilderment. "What are you guys talking about?"

"MJ, your girlfriend?" Tony supplied.

Peter blinked. Everything was silent for a solid five seconds. Then Peter burst out laughing.

"Oh my God- You thought-? I can't-!"

He took a deep breath to calm himself. He inhaled, exhaled, inhaled, exhaled, inhaled- and laughed again.

He couldn't believe it, it was just hilarious.

"No, no, no," Peter said once he finally calmed down. "MJ is just a close friend. She's actually been trying to convince me to ask this other person on a date-" the team looked at each other, baffled- "And she's coming today at midday to help me prepare for the date tonight." Peter was still smiling in amusement. He would be teasing them about it for a great while.

"Okay... I guess?" Tony said, confused beyond measure. "Then, who's the lucky girl who gets to be your date tonight?"

There were a few seconds of silence in which Peter only started at Tony.

"Dad," he started, "you know I'm gay, right?"

Tony blinked. The rest of the team stared.

"Okay, sorry for assuming. Who is the lucky guy, then?"

Silence.

The elevator opens and MJ comes out of it.

"Wade Wilson," she states.

Tony turns back to his kid.

"Of all the male population, you are dating _Deadpool_?!"

*incoherent concerned dad noises*


	23. Attached

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter's attached to Tony- literally.

Neither of them intended it to happen, it was completely accidental.

But they were watching a movie and Peter just fell asleep curled on top of Tony. And Tony was too tired to carry the kid to his own bed, so they stayed that way all night.

When the man woke up the next morning, he saw the time and cursed under his breath.

He had a meeting with the Rogue Avengers at 10 AM, and it was half past 9 already. He needed to leave.

Tony tried moving, but he was immobilized by something. He looked down to find Peter asleep on top of him, resting his face in his chest.

Trying not to wake him up, Tony moved so that the kid could keep on sleeping comfortably in the couch.

But there was a problem.

Peter seemed to be attached to Tony- literally.

"Shit."

He really needed to leave, the meeting was way too important to miss, even he understood that.

But he looked at his kid's peaceful face and he just didn't have the heart to wake him up.

And so, he stood up carefully, with Peter still stuck to his body, and thanked every existing God that the suit he accidentally slept on wasn't so crumpled.

Cautiously, Tony rode the elevator towards the meeting room of the tower where the meeting would take place.

People stared, but not for more than a couple of seconds. Being their boss and owner of the company they worked for had its perks.

Perhaps the lethal glare Tony gave each of the people that stared had something to do, too. Maybe.

Slowly, silently, Tony opened the door to the meeting room and made his way inside.

The Rogue Avengers looked up as he entered, and dropped their jaws at the scene.

The cold billionaire Tony Stark was coming into a meeting with a kid attached to him _who wasn't even holding him_ , just _attached_.

Tony glared.

"Not a single word."


	24. Field trip from the tour guide's PoV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A field trip one shot but with my own twist so it isn't as cliche: it's narrated by a very sarcastic and done tour guide who just hates their life.

"There are _three_ groups scheduled for a tour today, why do I get the kids?" I ask miserably. Now, it may seem a little dramatic but trust me, I'm not.

"Because a school is coming and we need a tour guide for them. You arrived last, you get the kids." The receptionist opens a drawer and takes out a small box with a paper attached to it. "Here are the badges and the list of students coming. On the bright side, it's only the Academic Decathlon team, so that's less kids for you to worry about."

I sigh and take the box from the receptionist's outstretched hands, already suffering for the day ahead.

Ignoring my feelings, I head over to the pre-agreed meeting point and wait for only a couple of minutes until a small group approaches me. There are nine kids and one teacher, which relaxes me a bit. But they are still kids, I don't understand why they would even be allowed to tour Stark Industries.

"Are you Andy Jackson?" The teacher asks and I nod. "Roger Harrington, it's a pleasure." He sticks out his hand and I shake it, trying not to show my misery so much.

Okay maybe I wasn't trying so hard.

Anyway, Harrington then turns around and faces his students, "I remind you to behave accordingly, as you are here to represent the school in front of a very important and prestigious company with great job opportunities once you're in collage." As he says that last part, he gives a side-glance to one of the kids, who stands out for looking unusually nervous in between all his awe-struck teammates.

While Mr. Harrington continues giving the typical lecture, the boy from before walks away from his group and towards me.

"Hey," I say.

"Hi," he greets back and fiddles with his backpack's strings, "I have a question... What do these scanners show?" The question strikes me as weird, but I ignore it and reply either way.

"Name, clearance and whether or not you have dangerous stuff with you." At this, the boy gets even more nervous, but he thanks me before going back to the group. I stare at him in suspicion, trying to figure out what he's hiding, because it's undoubtable that he is, in fact, hiding something. My first thought is that he has a weapon in him, so I decide to keep an eye on him until we go through security.

The teacher finally finishes his seemingly endless speech and directs the nine kids to me.

"I'm Andy Jackson and I'll be your guide for today's tour through the headquarter of Stark Industries. I'll ask you to please stay with the group at all times and ask for permission before touching anything," I say. "Now I'll do rollcall and hand out badges that will allow you to enter the tower. Any questions before we start?" Two people put up their hands and I call on a girl with brunette hair at the back.

"What will we get to see?" It's obvious she wants me to say we'll see the Avengers, but we will not. They may live here at the tower, but the living quarters are at the very top and separated from the business part.

"We will mainly be touring conference rooms and labs." She seems disappointed, which proves my guesses right. I have to suppress the need to roll my eyes; she's touring SI for school, there's literally not a single reason to meet the Avengers.

I go back to answering questions, and this time I call a boy with oval blue glasses.

"How exactly do the badges work?"

I take out a badge to show them the layout. "As you can see, they are pretty simple. They only contain a person's name printed to identify them and a QR code. Each code is unique and is scanned by those machines over there." I signal the scanners we will head over soon. "They're made this way to avoid reprinting badges each time a worker gets promoted to a higher level. As you may know already, SI focuses on helping the Earth, not only the people, and one way of doing it is by reducing the amount of residues we produce. Because of this, we only reprint badges if a person changes their name.

"You have tour badges, so they have a sticker with you name and temporary information in the QR code. As soon as the badge is scanned at the end of the tour, your information is erased and then later replaced with its next occupant's," I explain by heart. Another hand gets raised, this time by a dark-skinned boy. I nod his way, encouraging to ask away.

"So, with the badges you will give us we can go anywhere in the entire tower?"

"Nope." His face drops. "There are eight different levels of badges that give you clearance to enter different parts of the tower. Clearance eight, the lowest, is the one you have. These badges have a deadline, are reusable and are only meant for visitors like you. A particular feature about them is that you have access to all the places we will see in the tour, including some floors with important labs, but only if the tour guide scans their badge before you.

"Clearance seven is meant for the press, so they can access the conference rooms and the museums that are open for everyone with access to the tower.

"Now, clearance six is meant for people from other enterprises that have partnerships with SI, so they can access conference rooms.

"Interns have clearance level five. They are supervised by low level workers, who have clearance four. Other regular workers have clearance three.

"Then there's the head scientists, security and medical personnel, who have badges level two, which, unlike the others, allows them to access any floor of the tower except the top ten. The doctors and guards only get partial access to those ten floors when they are needed, because otherwise it could cause a serious security breach.

"As you are probably guessing, in between floor ninety and one hundred are the Avengers living quarters, along with their personalized training rooms and other stuff we're not allowed to know. This level has two subdivisions: omega, belonging to all the Avengers, who have clearance to enter the entirety of the tower except for the high-tech labs in the pent-house to avoid destruction; and alpha, belonging to only Pepper Potts, Bruce Banner, Tony Stark and another person whose identity is classified, and they can access the _whole_ tower."

Once I finish the infinite explanation, I take a long, deep breath. Making us tour guides say it in every tour is truly inhumane.

No, I'm not dramatic.

Anyway, the whole group seems excited to start, even more when I mentioned the Avengers. Except for that one kid, who now looks even more nervous if that's possible.

"Now we have to get on with the tour." I start doing rollcall and hand out the badges as I do so, only to reach the name 'Peter Benjamin Parker' and realize there's a note beside it saying he already has a badge. I brush it off and continue giving out the remaining ones. That's when I notice that the boy I am suspicious about is the one that seems to own a badge.

How interesting.

We head over to the scanners and I show them how to proceed.

"You have to put the badge close to this QR reader, and then your name and clearance level will be shown in the screens above from both sides, but you won't be able to enter if you don't scan your hand too here, just to assure that a person doesn't use another's badge.

"The line of LEDs below the screen lights up in different colors to inform security whether you have potentially dangerous items with you. If it lights up green, you're cleared, but if it's red then you have to go through an extensive security check." I glance sideways to the nervous teen, indirectly telling him to be careful. "There's one other color, and that's blue. Blue means that the person going through the scanners has dangerous items with them, but they are authorized. This color is generally seen when scientists enter the building with chemicals or workers from R&D labs enter with a robot or machine. However, it's pretty uncommon, considering few people are allowed to take work home, and it must be something of high importance if people with power to authorize dangerous stuff into the tower know of it.

"Without further ado, let's get this tour on the road." At this, I go through the scanner and prompt the group to follow my steps. They do so until the only one left is the one and only Peter Parker. I watch closely as the nervous wreck that is the teen miserably shuffles through his backpack and takes out a badge.

He walks forward and shakily puts the badge in front of the QR reader. The screens turn on to show his name, and, below it, a clearance level one alpha. He then slowly reaches for the hand scanner. I expect alarms to start blaring for a stolen identity or a hacker, but nothing happens.

Well, actually, something does happen: Friday.

"Hello, Peter. Boss has been alerted of your arrival," a voice says through tiny microphones embedded on the scanners.

I blink as I realize it's the first time I have ever seen the AI speak to someone without them asking something to her first.

Then I process her words, the boy's clearance and the blue light coming through the LEDs and I can only stare, eyebrows almost reaching my hairline.

So this guy was nervous not because he's dangerous but because he's too important. Nice.

No, actually, that's not nice at all.

I just wanted one normal and boring tour with whiny kids I could complain about, but guess what? No, that can't happen because I have a level one alpha in my group, who probably knows the tower better than I do anyway.

But seriously, there is one single classified person out there in the whole world who has that clearance, what were the odds?

Since we're talking about me, I'd say 100%.

And, would you look at that? He's here. Who would have thought?

I turn around tiredly to face the Decathlon team. They are all staring at the kid (Percy, was it?) with mouths agape. By that, I can guess they didn't know about his status and that was what had him so nervous.

The one kid that has the same clearance that Tony Stark isn't gloating about it. Good to know that... but I still wish I could complain without risking being fired by whoever this guy (Patrick, was it?) is.

"We'll start with the Avengers museum." I sigh.

I herd them to the elevator, to floor 5, and once there I show them around for a bit, without anything out of the ordinary happening.

That's until I start explaining a bit of the battle in the airport, in Germany.

"Everyone knows the Avengers fight together, they're not only associates but also friends. But we all also know about their fall back last year," I start. Everyone listens intently to every word that leaves my mouth. I can't quite decide if that's funny or annoying. Maybe both.

I explain the fight, the reasons and the outcome, making emphasis in the importance of SI in it.

"SI gave the Avengers most of the suits and weapons they used to fight, but it's also important to highlight that Tony Stark, who, as you all know, is the owner of the tower, fought in it with a suit he made himself. SI works to make the Earth a better place through technology, and, in a way, Mr. Stark was doing just that.

"Rumors say that Colonel Rhodes, with a suit that was also built by Tony Stark, was the one able to take down the Winter Soldier first. But then, the Winter Soldier fought back with his enhanced strength and metal arm, and pushed the colonel back just enough to escape. Then Mr. Stark came in and-" I was rudely interrupted.

"I'm sorry for interrupting-" of course he was- "but you know none of those things happened, right?" It was the level one alpha kid (Paolo, was it?). I just raise a brow at him, not in a mean way or anything like that, I'm just confused.

"Really? And you're basing your claims off what exactly?" a boy with brown skin asks him, with something that is probably supposed to be a sneer plastered in his face. I decide then and there that I don't like him.

"He would know," an unknown voice from behind the group says. It belongs to a man that's staring at one of the old Iron Man suit, with his back facing us. "He was there."

I close my eyes and take a deep, calming breath. So now it turns out that this kid (Perry, was it?) watched the fight between the Avengers that would go down in history. He had seen it first-hand, and yet it's me who's giving the tour.

I exhale. "Tell us about it then, kid." I open my arms with a kinda fake smile.

I'm hating this tour so much.

Everyone turns to look at the boy (Pierce, was it?) curiously and astonished, but he just blushes and shakes his head. The man from before turns around and hey, would you look at that! It's Captain America!

Of fucking course.

Anyway...

"Uncle Steve!" the kid cried out. "Why must you be so cruel?" he says dramatically. Is he trying to steal my title of drama queen? I'm offended.

"It's true." The Captain shrugs. "Now go ahead and tell them about it, Pete." He smirks. I pray for it all to be over.

My prayers are either unheard or ignored by god. How could they do this to me?

And so the kid (Phillip, was it?) comes up to the front and starts telling everyone the story in a quiet voice. All the other kids stare at him, but few pay attention to what he's saying as they are obviously shocked.

Once he's done with his magnificent tale (note the sarcasm), I continue the tour through the museum without any other inconvenience.

After that, I take them to see the conference rooms and explain briefly what each of them are used for.

This part of the tour is pretty short, as we just see the rooms from the outside and there’s not much to explain besides saying that this is the place where most of the decisions regarding the company are taken.

But, as it’s me giving the tour, Pepper Pots, the CEO of the company, just _had_ to be walking down the same hallway as us.

She sees the level one alpha kid (Pollux, was it?) in between the group and asks, “Hey, Peter, are you staying for dinner?”

The kid blushes but nods. The woman (one of the most powerful and influential women alive, for God’s sake) smiles at him and goes on with her day. Everyone continues to stare at the kid.

I, again, sigh and clap once to gain the group’s attention.

“The labs are next.”

The first lab we see isn't very important and therefore isn't big either, but the whole Decathlon Team is extremely excited either way (except, of course, for that level one alpha, who probably lives inside a lab thirteen times bigger and with tech worthy of Wakanda).

I show them a few labs through windows, but we don't go inside none of them because it can be extremely dangerous.

"As you can see, scientists and interns work together here to make creations that will help the world improve by making our lives simpler and safer, but only in ecofriendly ways. But something few people know is that Mr. Stark gives his employees freedom here to build whatever they want (with the obvious limitations). In a way, you could say that the labs are the place where these geniuses can let their imagination run wild while being financed by a billionaire who later finds out a way to use those inventions to help the world. It's a win-win.

"You should pay close attention to this part of the tour, since the only reason people get tours here is because they're interested in working for or with SI, because this place isn't a zoo that anyone can come and visit anytime; this is a professional working place. The fact that you go to a school for geniuses is probably the reason you are here, as you could make good interns and later on scientists here." When I say the last part, my eyes linger on the level one alpha kid (Pierre, was it?) a little longer than necessary. Him and I both know he's actually the only reason they're allowed in here.

Suddenly, one of the doors leading to a lab opens, and out comes Bruce Banner, being followed by at least seven interns.

"Please, Dr. Banner, we need help with this!" one pleads.

"Without professional help, this can turn out to be disastrous!" another intern adds.

"Dr. Banner-" the last one is interrupted by the doctor himself.

"I don't know the answer to your problems!" he exclaims tiredly, running a hand through his hair in exasperation. "I'm sleep deprived!"

An intake of breath was heard.

"Excuse me?"

Can you _guess_ who asked?

It was Harry Styles!

...

It was the kid, once again.

And so Bruce Banner snaps his head towards the boy (Phineas, was it?).

"Peter, it was a joke! I'm not sleep deprived, I swear!" The kid raises a single brow.

"You go to sleep, right this instant." Damn, that kid's stubborn. The scientist sighs but heads to the elevator.

"Okay, now deal with the desperate interns."

The boy closes his eyes and mutters something that sounds suspiciously like "shit".

"Peter, Peter! Please, we need help with this-" they drag him inside the lab, muffling their words, and failing to notice the mob of children behind the kid.

Wow, such geniuses they are.

And so they take the boy inside the lab, basically begging for him to solve their problem. I ignore that and, with a sigh, continue my explanation, though the team's attention stays with their classmate.

"Umm... what is Peter doing?" a girl with curly brown hair interrupts me. Geez, kids these days.

"Sally, please shut up," the scrawny boy with round blue glasses says, "Let the guy-" he hesitates, "gal...?"

"Pal," I supply. He nods in understanding with a little smile.

"Let the pal do their job."

"Thank you," I say. "Now, moving on..." I continue my speech without any other interruptions, and this time the kids seem to pay more attention. Their gazes still stray sometimes from me towards the window from which their classmate can be seen working expertly, but at least they are hearing me now.

It's only when I'm finishing the tour around the labs that the kid (Pryce, was it?) comes back to us. He immediately heads over to a boy with straight dark hair, who looks overly excited, and a girl with curly hair, that looks indifferent.

The rest of the class turns towards him, but say nothing.

We're heading to the elevator when, without any kind of warning, two men fall from the vents, tripping over each other.

"Run, Clint, run!" Falcon screams while standing up and looking over his shoulder. Then he seems to spot someone in our group.

Who could it be? (Sigh)

"Peter, help us!" he shouts and runs towards the boy.

"What did you two do this time?" he asks.

"Nothing, I swear!"

"Uncle Sam, Uncle Clint, I won't say it again. _What did you do?_ "

The men gulp. "It was just a little prank, nothing big," Hawkeye says.

"Nothing big?" the kid asks. "Then why do I sense Wanda and Vision coming from that hallway and yelling your names?"

The men pale and take a cautious step back, then take off running.

As if on cue, both celebrities mentioned by the boy arrive to where we are standing.

Everyone stares at them with wide eyes, but hey, you would too. It's hard to miss glitter-covered Avengers running down the hallway.

"Sam! Clint!" Scarlett Witch yells furiously, covered from head to toe with pink glitter. "A prank war has been declared!"

The boy (Preston, was it?) curses, but neither of the Avengers take notice of him.

Before anything else can happen, I herd the group into the elevator.

But Vision and Scarlett Witch follow.

The ride is awkward as hell, with two angry superheroes covered in glitter, an uncomfortable boy, eight kids staring at the two Avengers, then the teacher, who is completely clueless and just confusion in the shape of a man, and me, frustrated and ready to sell my soul to the devil to get it all over with.

The boy (Paul, was it?) opens his mouth to say something but promptly closes it.

"Friday, take us to the penthouse. They're so dead," Wanda says, fuming.

"What happened?" the kid finally asks.

Both of the heroes turn, surprised, to look at the kid, as does the rest of the people in the elevator.

"Hey, Peter!" the witch greets, brightening up ever so slightly.

"Hi Wanda, hi Vis," he replies. The former AI nods in his direction with a small smile.

"This happened," Scarlett Witch points to Vision and then to her own body, which are both still shining a bright pink, "when we were looking for Bruce at his lab. Do you know where he is, by the way?"

"I sent him to sleep," the boy says like it's normal.

"Okay, thank you," she says.

"We're going to prank Clint and Sam now, do you want to come with us?" Vision asks.

"Umm," the boy makes a hand gesture in our general way, "I'm in a field trip."

Wanda shrugs. "Then bring them as well."

And... there goes any chances left of having a normal-ish tour. Wave as they pass by, everyone.

Friday hears what the witch says and takes us all to the penthouse. As soon as the doors open, the Avengers in the elevator rush out.

I see Hawkeye run away the moment they do, and in the way he takes Tony's mug with him, taking a big gulp of whatever liquid it held, probably coffee. Then he steals what Thor is eating. Raising my brows slightly, I realize they are pop tarts.

"Hey!" the billionaire and the god complain.

"Code yellow," Vision informs them. Both men turn to him.

"Are you Clint's opposing team?" Tony asked.

"Yes, we've also got Peter," Scarlett Witch says.

"Count me in," the head of the company says, and Thor nods along.

Not from far away, a terrified scream is heard.

"That's for my coffee, Bird Brain!" the billionaire yells back.

Another distant scream. Tony smirks.

This seems to unlock the tour group's ability of speech, as everyone starts speaking at once.

"I can't believe what's happening, oh God, oh God, oh God."

"We are with the Avengers! Oxygen magnesium!"

"Sally, did you really just say 'oxygen magnesium'?"

"I ADMIRE YOU ALL SO MUCH!"

"How do they know Peter????"

"Abe, our SI tour turned into watching a prank war between Earth's Mightiest Heroes. Is that _really_ your only question?"

"He has a point though, Cindy; since when does Parker know the Avengers? How?"

“Flash, please shut up.”

"All of you, shut up and fangirl like normal people! Gee, my classmates are idiots..."

"Anyway," the billionaire silences them all by speaking, "We will get going-" he starts, but is interrupted by Vision, who speaks up from his forgotten position at the back.

"Tony, we have an urgent problem. It seems like Peter is being bullied."

"Someone is doing _what_?"

The whole atmosphere darkens and I can actually see all the Avenger's demeanor turn murderous.

And I thought _I_ was dramatic.

Tony claps once to get everyone's attention (as if he didn't already have it), and gives us a visibly forced smile.  
"Well, I think it's time to change the tour's schedule a little bit."

I slam my head into a wall.  
  
  


  
  


Okay, I don't, but I was tempted to.

So, I give up in life as my boss tells Friday to alert 'Natasha' and 'Bucky', and to meet us in the training room.

Even Hawkeye and Falcon come back from their manly escape to face this bully, all traces of amusement far gone.

The Decathlon team has gone silent again, and the boy (Payton, was it?) looks pale as we head back into the elevator where everything went to hell.

The ride is, once again, immensely awkward. At one point, the kids start talking again, but I just cross my arms and rest against the elevator's walls. The Avengers took the tour into their hands, now it's their problem.

We eventually reach the training room and both of the super heroes Tony alerted are there, along with a sleepy and grumpy Bruce Banner.

"Who touched Peter?" Black Widow asks, deadly calm. I stare ahead of me, unfazed. Whoever did it had this coming. I don't like bullies.

But none of the kids speak up, not even the victim. I think they're all too afraid to.

"Not gonna speak, huh?" Winter Soldier growls out. "Doesn't matter. We've had Friday analyze the school security cameras recordings." His gaze fixates in the boy with brown skin that questioned what the level one alpha boy had said in the museum. Honestly, I'm not even surprised.

"Can you imagine how angry I was to see that my маленький паук has been bullied for _years_ by this asshole?" Black Widow asks rhetorically, staring directly into the bully's eyes too.

All the Avengers turn to the boy, and they all seem to want to murder him slowly and painfully.

"So now you, Eugene," Tony spits out the name as if it were venom, "you will come up and fight me. I want to know if you're as brave with someone who actually fights back."

"Can I fight him?" Clint asks.

"I want to be the one to fight him!" Wanda exclaims.

They all start discussing over who gets to fight (aka punch repeatedly without getting even a scrape themselves) the bully.

Finally, Natasha says, "Oh, no, I have a better idea," and it's probably the almost cruel glint in her eyes that makes the rest of her team agree.

I sigh. This will take a while.

“According to Friday,” the red-haired hero starts, “you have been bullying Peter for years. You have been punching him, kicking him and insulting him, but not even one of those five hundred times, Peter fought back. You know why, Flash?”

The bully, Flash (what kind of nickname even is that?), is shaking and stays quiet.

“You thought it was because Peter _couldn’t_ fight back?” the Winter Soldier says and then laughs. “You couldn’t be more wrong. The only reason he doesn’t fight back is because he doesn’t want to harm you, obviously, because he has a heart of gold and can’t even fathom the idea of punching his own bully.”

I don’t honestly know if he’s just exaggerating to scare him or if he’s being serious. He can’t be serious, right?

“And now I will show you that he can, in fact, defend himself.” The boy (Prescott, was it?) shakes his head while giving both assassins a warning glare. He has guts, I’ll give him that. “Because you two will be fighting against each other. And, for the first time, Peter won’t be holding back.”

“You dare go easy on him, Pete, and I’ll take your lab privileges for two months,” Tony threatens, and the response is immediate: the boy groans and starts protesting.

“You can’t ban me from my own lab!” he complains.

“Watch me.”

I nod approvingly. That line was nice.

Anyway, the boy looks miserable as he walks to the front, while the bully looks scared but pretty confident.

That’s until the boy takes off his baggy sweater. A look of pure horror takes over his features as he sees the other kid’s arms, which have almost as much muscle as Captain America himself. The multiple scars from gunshots and other weapons that are visible in them don’t seem to help.

“Oh, what happens?” Falcon asks with an innocent expression, but it’s painfully obvious that he’s enjoying it. “Hadn’t you seen him without a sweater before?”

The bully gulps as he shakily approaches the other kid.

When half a minute passes and neither of them make a move, Natasha asks, “What, are you afraid of the boy you bullied for years now?”

In a surge of idiotic bravery, the bully tries to punch the boy, who only catches his fist and judo flips him in one swift movement, immobilizing him in mere seconds.

“Did you see that?” one of the Decathlon kids whisper-yells, amazed.

“But did you see how his muscles flexed? Damn!”

“Cindy, don’t be a slut.”

“Oh, Charles, you think I didn’t catch you staring, too?”

I facepalm.

All whispered conversations come to a stop when the boy (Pascal, was it?) starts asking his bully if he’s alright and apologizing profusely.

“Why do you apologize to that asshole? He bullies you!” Wanda asks angrily.

I suppress a smile. I can’t take her seriously when she’s still covered in pink glitter.

Natasha then walks up to the bully. “Do you want to fight me, too? I’m sure it will be fun!” She smiles sadistically. The kid shakes his head fast, with an expression of absolute fear in his face.

“No, Ms. Black Widow, I- I don’t want to fight you.”

Tony approaches the bully. "Now live up to your ridiculous nickname and leave."

Damn, they're all extra as hell.

But either way the bully stands up hurriedly from the floor and stumbles to the closest exit.

"Wait at the bus!" the teacher calls out uselessly.

There's silence.

"So, Andy," Tony says with a smile, reading my badge, "this tour was certainly interesting, wasn't it?"

That's it.

After this, I'm quitting.

Thank you oh so much, Peter.


	25. 'Wearing their own clothes'? Who is she?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all started when Tony lent Peter his sweater. No one expected it to escalate.  
> (Spoiler alert: it did.)

It started off innocently enough.

Tony had taken Peter to school one morning in a hurry, and the teen had forgotten to bring his sweater in the midst of the anxious running to get to school in time.

Tony, knowing the lack of thermoregulation of the kid's spider side would only make matters worse, simply took off the SI hoodie he was wearing and handed it over to the kid.

Peter then proceeded to keep said hoodie.

But, after a week, it just wasn't enough anymore, so Peter headed to Tony's room, opened his huge wardrobe and picked another comfy hoodie.

When the billionaire saw him, he only stared for a few seconds, pointed out, "That's mine," and then let it slide when the teenager shrugged.

But it hadn't ended there, no.

Soon enough, the line between Peter's clothes and Tony's had blurred so much it was almost nonexistent. Which meant that Peter would wear his mentor's clothes like they were his own. But now Tony would, too, do the same with Peter's.

"I always wondered why you liked these sweats so much."

Peter didn't mind. It was fair, after all.

But then, Peter was watching a movie with Natasha and the woman shuddered. Peter saw this and, like the cinnamon roll he is, wanted to help, so he took off one of the many hoodies he had on and held it out for the ex-assassin without saying a single word to her.

Natasha, upon noticing that the kid had many other sweaters and blankets wrapped around him, decided to take the hoodie from the kid's outstretched hands.

She put it on, grateful for the heat it provided, and noticed it smelled like Tony. She analyzed Peter's clothes and the hoodie she was now wearing, and figured out the situation in seconds. She shrugged and decided to join.

So now there were three people in the tower who shared wardrobes. And people started taking notice of it.

"Is that Peter's shirt?" Clint had asked Natasha while training, to what she simply nodded.

"It's comfortable to train. You should try it some time."

As recommended, Clint did, and was surprised not only by how adaptable it was (which was ideal for training) but also by the comfort that provided the fact that it was Peter's.

The other person's characteristic perfumes embedded in the clothes were surprisingly calming. In a way, sharing clothes felt like a form of trust and intimacy ( _not_ romantic, ew), and the archer liked it.

It wasn't long until Clint was also part of this thing Peter, Natasha and Tony had going on.

Then, Natasha saw Steve wear a short-sleeved blue tee shirt and decided she liked it. So, when it was once again clean, she took it.

"Is that my tee shirt?" Steve had asked, confused.

"Yes."

The super soldier didn't mind it, either, so the other three started taking his clothes too.

But once, Steve went to look for one of his hoodies and found none.

One option was to look for one that was already washed and iron it. But it was too much work.

Instead, he headed to Clint's room.

Steve had seen a big sweater there and concluded that it would do. After all, it would fit and it seemed cozy.

When he put it on, he realized why Tony, Peter, Natasha and Clint had been stealing his clothes. It gave a special sensation; a mixture of ease and happiness. It felt homely.

After that, Tony's sneakers, Peter's tee shirts, Natasha's baggy joggers and Clint's sweaters started disappearing more often.

The problem there was that Peter loved Clint's sweaters, too, and now he found himself at a shortage of them. But he knew someone else whose sweaters also looked like heaven: Bruce.

Peter investigated the scientist's wardrobe for a while and settled for a grey sweater. And, as he was already there, he took one of Bruce's jeans, too.

"Are you trying to dress up as me?" Bruce had asked in surprise.

"Nope, these are your clothes."

"Okaaay, I guess..."

The teen started resorting to his wardrobe each time more.

For this, when Bruce lost a specific sweater one day, he looked in Peter's room, as he used them more often than not.

What he found, instead, was a black polar jacket that was just sitting there, untouched, and looked as a gift of the gods. Bruce thought about it for some seconds and decided it was only fair to take it.

And he did

No one questioned him, but suddenly it wasn't just Peter taking his things. They had seen him with Peter's jacket and concluded that he now took part of the single wardrobe they all shared.

And then this particular morning came. Everyone was having breakfast like normal, and then Peter walked in. He was wearing one of Steve's slippers, one pair of Tony's fluffy socks, one of Clint's tee shirts, one of Natasha's sweatpants, one of Bruce's sweaters, and-

Thor opened his mouth, "Is that my cape?"


	26. Flash finds out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flash sees Peter putting on his suit. Oh what will happen now?

For most people, Fridays meant freedom, or pleasure, or fun. It was the day in which they could stop having to worry about school work and could just enjoy themselves. It meant happiness.

But for Flash it wasn't that way. For him, Fridays meant he had to go home for complete days, and he hated it. He hated it because going home meant getting rejected and ignored, neglected.

That week had been particularly bad for him; he had failed two tests, one of his friends had punched him and his parents hadn't been home at all.

He just wanted affection; was that too much to ask?

But he wasn't given that affection, and he was unable to feel it himself. All he could feel was pure frustration and raw anger, both burning intensely inside of his chest.

He had so many feelings bottled up, and the weekend made no good promises. He needed to get it out. He had to.

But Flash didn't know any other way of fighting anger other than with aggressivity, so he looked around the school's front yard, searching for someone in particular. Someone who was good at taking beatings without a single complaint: Peter Parker.

He finally located him walking rather quickly down the street. Flash hurried to get to him before it was too late and he had to deal with all these emotions the whole weekend.

He was half a block away when he saw Peter look around for a bit, then get inside an alley. To say Flash was confused would be an understatement, but he had way too many things in his mind to think about Peter's actions. Going inside an alley was only making his plans easier, as he wouldn't have to hide from passers-by.

Flash finally got to the alley, with so much pent up frustration he actually felt quite sorry for the strong beating Peter would receive this time.

He looked inside the alley, but stealthily. Something told him he had to hide.

And that's when he saw it: Peter, stripping from his clothes, showing all the muscle that lay below the oversized clothes. Flash was taken aback; wasn't this kid a nerd? And what was he even doing?

Peter suddenly snapped his head up and looked around for some seconds, but Flash had already taken cover and was out of sight. The teen's eyes remained attentive as he pulled his suit up his body.

Flash was peaking inside the alley again, and the saw his victim wearing a baggy version of the Spider-Man suit. Why was Peter wearing a costume in the first place?

But then, Peter pressed a button and the suit became almost a second skin; the usual spandex suit the real Spider-Man wore.

Still looking around cautiously, Peter pulled the mask over his face, turned to the building to his left and started crawling up.

"Holy shit..." Flash whispered in absolute shock.

**I'm not in my phone so I can't put the usual separation thingy so please welcome Mary the time skip!**

Flash went home that night with his eyes still open wide. 

Because what the fuck?

Spider-Man, the hero he was so obsessed with, his role model, was the same person he had been beating up almost daily. 

He had seen so many videos of Spider-Man, saw how strong he was, and he still took beatings. Flash had seen how he saved countless lives in acts of bravery that were beyond his understanding, had seen him take bullets and stabs for strangers, had seen him stay out all night long patrolling the streets.

But all this time, Flash had thought Spider-Man was a grown man that didn't have anything to do during the day. Flash had believed Spider-Man was an adult who could take care of himself, and that he would get the rest he needed to heal and regain energy during the day.

But it wasn't that way.

Spider-Man was Peter Parker, and Peter had things to do during the day, had no time to rest or heal. And yet he still protected civilians every single night, because that's what heroes do.

And Flash was just then realizing that Peter was a hero.

**Hello again Mary! How are- Wait Mary there's a truck- watch out!**

Flash spent his weekend watching YouTube videos of Spider-Man. He could recognize now the voice of the young hero, and realized why it had always sounded slightly familiar to him.

But no, every time Flash heard the hero scream because of strain or pain, he saw himself causing those screams in the brave teen when he beat him.

How could Peter live such a busy, dangerous and almost miserable life? Why did he take Flash's punches, when he could easily beat him?

But, most importantly, how could Flash do that to the boy in the first place?

**Mary was run over by a truck and died :(**

Monday morning eventually came around and Flash had to go to school.

He didn't know how he would live through it, honestly.

And then he went to school, and that precise morning had to be the one in which Peter, who was known for always being late, arrived early.

Flash would have cursed the fates hadn't he been frozen in place.

Nope, he couldn't do it.

What to do? What to do? Would bowing be enough? Giving Peter his lunch money? His car?

Flash didn't have much time to consider his options of apologies and hailing, however, as a plane suddenly crushed him.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO END IT SORRY


	27. History book

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter's class is studying World War 2. He can't find his book. He finds another solution.

"What were you thinking, bringing him?" MJ asked.

Peter was staring at a wall with unfocused eyes.

"I have no idea."

He thought back to the moment this nightmare started.

" _Hurry up, kid, you're late!_ "

" _Wait, please! I need my history book but I can't find it!_ "

" _Then find a solution._ "

Oh, boy. Oh, dear God.

Why did he do it?

.×××.

History class went on and on, and Peter was seriously struggling to stay focused.

He fell asleep.

It wasn't his fault, okay? He hadn't slept the night before and he hated that class.

Peter was startled back into the land of the concious by the bell ringing, which was hell for his enhanced hearing.

The lack of sleep and the fact that he was confused were the reason he forgot his book at school.

Peter blamed crime.

.×××.

Peter hadn't even noticed the absence of his book until the next morning.

It wasn't strange for the teen to oversleep, but that day was different; he had only 20 minutes left, and the car ride to school was 10 minutes long.

"Oh, fudge!"

Peter jumped off his bed and quickly headed to the bathroom. He began changing at lightning speed and was all done in 5 minutes, which was kind of a record for him.

He still had to prepare his stuff for the day's classes and have breakfast, though.

Peter decided breakfast wasn't vital and simply ate one of his specially made protein bars.

Next, Peter started to look for all the books scattered around the Tower's penthouse, half of the protein bar held between his teeth.

He had eaten, dressed, had absolutely everything he needed for school- except his history book.

"No, no, no, this can't be happening-"

He had a special assignment for that day; they had to make an essay of World War 2, and he needed that book.

The one day he would actually use the book, he lost it.

Why was life so irreverent?

"Hurry up, kid, you're late!" Tony shouted at him from the kitchen.

"Wait, please! I need my history book but I can't find it!"

"Then find a solution."

He really needed to go. One minute more and he'd be late. But the book-

"Oh, fuck it!" Peter gave up.

But he didn't just say that to release frustration, nope.

"Language, Peter. We talked about this-"

The teen turned to face the man at his door, grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him towards the elevator.

"I've got everything I need now, dad!"

.×××.

 _I hate being so impulsive sometimes_ , Peter thought as Captain America sat next to him during history class and everyone stared, promising his life would be hell from that day on.


	28. "Internship"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter's lying about his internship. Flash just knows it.

Peter's SI internship had become an excuse.

He wanted to patrol? "I have to go to the internship."

He wanted to go to Stark Towers to build something? "I have to go to the internship."

He wanted to hang out with his superfamily? "I have to go to the internship."

Everyone around him had become used to it. Ned actually understood what he meant, so he didn't push. MJ wanted answers, she was too intelligent not to notice it was a lie, but she respected boundaries. May was too busy with work to notice anything out of the ordinary and start questioning him, so it was fine.

But Flash? He didn't understand, so he kept pushing. He was both stupid and a bully, so he demanded answers Peter didn't want to give by punching him. He was never too busy to pass an opportunity of teasing Peter and shaming him for his supposed lies.

•×××•

As the rich family the Thompson were, they went out to eat once every two weeks to some fancy restaurant. It had become something of a family tradition, and they never got bored of it as they changed the places where they went almost every time.

That particular day wasn't anything out of the ordinary, just another family dinner for Flash. He ordered spaghetti, his favorite, and was about to take the first bite. However, the fork never reached its destiny.

Flash froze.

He blinked twice to confirm he was seeing wrong, but nothing changed.

So Flash stared.

What-? How-? Uhhh?

•×××•

It really wasn't Peter's fault.

He had never requested it, though if you asked Tony, he would blame the teen.

Tony knew the team hated "Bonding Friday", but he still made the reservation. Actually, the team didn't hate it, they just preferred to watch a movie in the tower, or play some games, or simply talk. But going out to a fancy dinner? They needed someone to blame.

This time (like many others), the one chosen by Tony was Peter, and so he was at the receiving end of all complaints.

The billionaire didn't dislike the teen, though, it was absolutely nothing personal... But having the team want revenge could be quite… entertaining.

“Why, Mr. Stark?” the teen asked miserably.

Tony raised a brow. “I thought we were over this already.”

“We never discussed this! You’re just dragging me along and using me as your own personal shield for the Avengers!”

“No, not that; the whole ‘Mr. Stark’ thing you have going on.”

Peter pouted.

He wasn’t mad, anyway, and Tony didn’t actually mean to distress the teen. He knew Peter was fine with it, even considered it funny, he just loved drama. Otherwise, Tony wouldn’t have done it.

The team entered the living room, were the little discussion was taking place. Same as with Tony, everyone knew it was all a joke.

“Oh, so now you don’t wanna go?” Clint asked.

“You monsters!” Peter screamed dramatically.

“Uh-uh-uh.” Tony held up an accusing finger towards the kid. “It’s alright for them but that’s no way to treat your father,” he said before crossing his arms with a smirk. He knew he would get Peter to quit the act, and he was right: the spiderling blushed and stuttered out an incoherent response.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

The ride there was pretty uneventful, if you consider the Avengers toying with you as normal. For Peter, it was.

“What did you want to go out to dinner for, huh Peter? Wanna show off your amazing family?” Clint asked him sassily.

“Oh, shut up!”

They arrived to the fancy restaurant and were immediately taken to their table. Being the Avengers, they got their food only a few minutes after asking for it, and though this meant less time for the team to embarrass Peter, they didn’t let that hold them back.

“Remember that time, Peter, when you properly met Nat for the first time and you almost fainted?” This time it was Sam who was teasing the teen.

“How else did you expect me to react when I was in front of _the_ Black Widow?!”

“Kid, you dropped to your knees and swore to follow her steps to become a powerful and inspiring hero,” Tony said with an undertone of disbelief.

“Exactly,” Peter deadpanned.

Natasha nodded solemnly. (And then reached across the table to ruffle the teen’s hair but she would never admit that.)

“Okaaaaay,” Steve said doubtfully.

“And when he met you, Bruce? Remember that?” Bucky asked the man with a smirk. The scientist went red.

“Yeah…” he said. “He was mute for five minutes straight while staring at me. Then the situation clicked in his mind and he started… fanboying?”

“I’m sorry for getting excited after meeting the greatest scientist to ever exist!” Peter opened his arms in an exaggerated gesture while rolling his eyes.

Someone choked.

“Excuse you?” Tony asked, offended. 

Peter crossed his arms. “Mr. Stark, you’re great and all, but have you seen Uncle Bruce’s work?”

Banner wore a smug expression in his face as he looked at Tony. “Yeah, ‘Mr. Stark’, suck it up.”

Tony ignored the man. “How come he is ‘Uncle Bruce’ and I am ‘Mr. Stark’, huh? I’m feeling betrayed and quite insulted over here!” Tony whined. (Never admitting that either.)

“Mr. Stark-“

“That’s it, kid, you’re grounded.”

“What? H-how? You can’t ground me!” 

Tony looked at Peter unblinking. “Watch me.”

“No! You can’t ground me!” He started spluttering. “You’re not my dad!”

Tony raised a brow. “Am I not, now?”

Peter dropped his defiant stance. He stared at the floor with a red face and a slightly embarrassed smile.

“Oh, leave Peter alone, you children!” Pepper reprimanded, grinning. “I will buy you ice cream after this, alright?” she spoke to the teen now, who perked up and nodded enthusiastically.

“Thank you, Ms. Potts!” he said, then turned to his dad and stuck out his tongue.

Tony dramatically took a hand to his chest and feigned feeling hurt. “You wound me, Pete, you seriously wound me.” 

Peter shook his head with a fond smile playing in his lips. He loved his family.

•×××•

Flash just _stared_.

“What the-“


	29. Cinnamon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter wants to eat cinnamon. Clint, however, won't be letting that happen any time soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: food

Peter loved cinnamon.

He ate cinnamon in his pancakes for breakfast, and took muffins or cookies with cinnamon to school every day. Donuts were also a good option for him, as was anything with cinnamon. Whenever his family ate pasta with bolognese sauce, Peter would demand that cinnamon was added to it.

Let's not even get started on his love for cinnamon rolls.

Cinnamon was a passion.

But then Tony acquired partial guardianship over Peter so he now lived in Stark tower half the time. And Clint seemed scandalized once he saw his obsession with cinnamon.

Then, all of a sudden, his collection of foods with cinnamon disappeared. Peter was thoroughly horrified by the discovery. Why would someone take his cinnamon? How would he survive the day?

Peter was late for school, so he just hurried out while still wondering what the heck had happened.

That same day, the young hero asked Tony to buy more. The teen never asked for anything, so the billionaire was quick to satisfy his wish, and so everything he had made Friday buy online arrived early the next day (perks of being Tony Stark).

.×××.

Peter happily made his way to the kitchen, prepared everything he'd need to cook, and went to open the store's bags, only to find them empty.

Almost desperately, Peter started looking through the kitchen, checking every drawer and cupboard, to no avail.

The cinnamon was gone again.

.×××.

On day three, abstinence kicked in. Peter literally begged Ned to bring him some cinnamon food to school.

Like the good friend he is, Ned brought the teen what he asked for.

Excitedly, Peter grabbed one of the rolls and hurried to eat it. He had missed it so much-

An arrow was suddenly nailed into his locker, holding the cinnamon roll.

Peter's eyes showed hysteria as he watched the perfect, innocent cinnamon roll break and slowly fall to the floor.

A man fell from the school's vents, screaming, and with a bow held in his hands.

"Noooooo!"

"Clint what the fuck-"

"No!"

"How could you?! Why?!" Peter asked in absolute horror.

"You shall not commit cannibalism," the archer stated, before grabbing the box of cinnamon rolls from Ned's hands and taking them. He swiftly left the school, leaving behind a hallway of shocked students and a distressed spider teen.

.×××.

On his way home that afternoon, Peter had tried buying something, anything, with cinnamon in it in a grocery store, but Clint had appeared, half hidden behind an aisle, with his eyes narrowed.

Peter slowly left the box back in its place.

Clint disappeared.

.×××.

At school the following day, Ned had smuggled some cinnamon cookies into class for him.

"Oh, Ned, thank you so much-"

Clint entered the English classroom like a ninja and kicked the cookie out of the teen's hand, making it fall into the ground.

"Clint! Just let it go, dude!"

"Who do you think I am? Elsa?"

.×××.

This went on for a week.

_A whole week._

"Please, Clint, let me eat cinnamon," Peter begged after what felt like an eternity to him of being away of that food of the gods.

"Nope."

Peter suddenly stood up angrily and took out a water gun. "I won't hesitate bitch!"

Clint stared at Peter blankly. Peter pouted and dropped the gun, leaving the room with his head hanging low.

.×××.

The next time Clint frustrated Peter's attempts at eating cinnamon was during gym class.

Peter had thought he wouldn't notice, because no one eats during gym class, right?

Spoiler alert: he was wrong.

As the spiderling enthusiastically tried to eat his cinnamon donut, a long, loud scream was heard that interrupted him. One second later, the donut was nothing but dust. **(sorry)**

"Over. My. Fucking. Dead. Body."

Peter’s lower lip trembled. His eyes filled with tears.

“No- no- kid, don’t you dare-“

A single quiet sob escaped the teen’s mouth, and the wall of the gym was suddenly demolished.

“ _What did you do to my son?”_


	30. Civil war 2 (cinnamon edition)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The no-cinnamon-for-Peter situation escalates. Things get messy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: food

"The legendary Avengers have been spotted fighting each other in Central Park, which raises concerns and questions; is this another Accords situation? What happened to cause such a brutal fight? Will this fight bring the end of Earth Mightiest Heroes?" a woman in the TV was saying with worry.

Peter looked away and whistled innocently.

•×××•

A war may or may not have ensued.

Peter blamed Clint.

But it really wasn't his fault. Everything had just gone downhill since the gym incident.

Tony, Clint and Peter had gone home arguing like little kids, only to be received by Steve in the kitchen, with a mom pose and a reprimanding look.

"What is going on here?"

"Peter insists in committing cannibalism!" Clint whined.

"I do not!" the teen defended himself. "I just want to eat cinnamon!"

"Let the kid eat his cinnamon, Clint!"

"No, Stark, I can't let that happen-"

"Uh, Mr. Stark, Clint- I think we broke Steve."

Both men paused their argument to look at the super soldier, who seemed disturbed.

"See, Steve agrees. You can't just deprive the kid of his favorite food-" Tony started, but was interrupted by the soldier.

"You wanted to eat _what_?"

"Steve!" Peter cried. "Don't do this to me!"

"You- you can't just eat cinnamon, Peter! How could you even think of- No!"

Peter pouted.

"This house is a fUCKING NIGHTMARE-"

"Did Peter just curse?" Three Avengers came rushing in to the kitchen.

Steve, Clint, Tony and Peter looked at each other with matching scowls.

"Peter wants to eat cinnamon," Steve stated and crossed his arms.

Bucky and Sam gasped, while Bruce was just confused.

"And?"

Clint, Steve, Bucky and Sam turned to look at him and seemed genuinely offended.

"He is a cinnamon roll, he can't eat cinnamon!"

Bruce went to stand beside Tony and Peter while he sighed as if he had given up in humanity. He had.

Both groups standing in opposite sides glared at each other defiantly for some seconds before Natasha entered the kitchen.

She looked them up and down, raised a brow and tilted her head a little. She began shrugging when she saw Peter was there. And Peter looked sad.

She growled at the men and rushed to Peter. "What did they do to you, детка? Are you alright?"

Sam started explaining, "He wanted to eat _cinnamon_ -"

The ex-assassin turned back to the kid. "There's no more cinnamon? Do you want me to buy you some?"

Bucky inhaled sharply. "You can't offer him that!"

Natasha glared at them while she cradled Peter in her arms protectively.

"Then fight me."

Bucky took a wise step back and looked at his group in a silent scream for help.

Clint spoke up. "Nat, we can't let him eat cinnamon. It's just atrocious!"

"One of us is wrong. Our group has three geniuses. Take a wild guess," Bruce deadpanned.

"Three geniuses and a billionaire," Peter added, to which everyone nodded until-

"Hey!" Peter shushed Tony without looking at him.

Steve frowned at Bruce's statement, ignoring the rest.

"Then ask Shuri. I'm sure she'll understand," the super soldier said.

Peter took out his phone quickly with a smirk. Obviously Shuri would be on his side.

** Peter **

Shuri  
Shuri  
Shuri  
Shuri

** Shuri **

What??

** Peter **

Clint, Steve, Sam and Bucky won't let me eat cinnamon :(

** Shuri **

WHAT THE FUCK RICHARD?

** Peter **

Thank you, finally someone who understands

** Shuri **

Why were you trying to eat cinnamon? Are you crazy?!

** Peter **

...  
Sometimes I wish I were Jared, 19-

** Shuri **

Go back to sleep and STARVE

** Peter **

:(

** Shuri **

I'll be there in 10

** Peter **

:)

** Shuri **

To stop you

** Peter **

:(

"Okay, you have Shuri in your side, but we still outnumber you in geniuses."

Protests from both sides arose, and that's what Shuri arrived to ten minutes later.

"What the-? Shuri, how did you get here so fast?" Peter asked her.

“I told you I’d be here in ten.”

"I didn't know you were serious," the spider teen replied. Shuri looked offended. "I'm sorry," he corrected himself, "I didn't think it was possible."

"It wasn't until ten minutes ago, when you texted me and I invented a way to teleport so I could come."

Silence.

"Okay." It wasn't the strangest thing they had heard.

"Now, what is this insanity that you're trying to eat cinnamon?"

Peter groaned.

In that moment, Vision came into the kitchen along with Wanda.

"What's wrong with Peter wanting cinnamon?"

"Vis!" Wanda said, looking scandalized, "That's cannibalism!"

Vision just looked confused.

"But Peter is human-"

"Don't listen to them," Tony interrupted. "They're all crazy."

Vision shrugged and went to stand beside the billionaire, while Wanda stared at him seeming betrayed. She went to stand next to Clint.

A few minutes of arguing went by until the next person strolled into the room.

"Tony, I need to know whether you- Woah." Rhodey wasn't expecting to find the kitchen filled with eleven super heroes fighting each other.

"Rhodey, get Peter some cinnamon please," his friend told him.

The soldier nodded confusedly but the door was suddenly blocked.

"No!" Clint said.

Rhodey turned to Peter and asked him tenderly, "Do you want cinnamon?"

When the teen nodded with a pout, Rhodey turned defensive. "Move."

"No!"

In that moment, another person burst into their argument.

"Uncle Thor! Can you get me some cinnamon?" Peter said innocently, silencing all the bantering heroes in the room.

"Sure, Spiderling, just tell me what cinnamon is."

Peter brightened up. "It's this really tasty-"

"NO." Sam stamped his fist in the table. "Peter can't get cinnamon!"

"What's wrong with it?" the god asked.

"Thor, would you eat another person?"

Thor hesitated. "No?"

"No, Thor, you don't eat other people." Shuri pinched the bridge of her nose. "You aren't supposed to eat something of your same species, ever, and that is what Peter wants to do."

Thor still looked confused.

"Imagine if I wanted to eat your arm, Thor, do you think the team would let me? No," Sam tried.

Gingerly grabbing his arm, Thor proclaimed, "The little spider shall _not_ eat cinnamon!"

"Uncle Thor!" Peter complained.

Tony suddenly fired a beam to the ceiling with his gauntlet, calling everyone's attention. "That's it, we're calling Strange."

Everyone stared at him blankly.

"Harry Potter," he clarified. They all nodded in understanding.

Few seconds went by before a portal opened in the kitchen. The sorcerer coming out of it was taken aback by the amount of people in the room and the atmosphere it held, though he hid it well.

“You said there was an emergency? Something regarding Peter?”

“Yes,” Tony replied. “These idiots won’t let the kid eat his favorite food.”

Peter nodded with tears shining in his big doe eyes, successfully gaining the man’s affection and support.

“You let the kid get what he wants,” he basically growled, then turned to Peter and asked softly, “What do you want?”

“Just cinnamon, sir.”

“Of course, kid. Here,” Strange summoned some cookies for him, but only a second later they were on the floor, being stomped by Clint, who called his team over so they could help with the destruction.

“There’s only one way to resolve this,” the sorcerer declared somberly, before making a huge portal that had them all suddenly standing in Central Park.

“For Peter’s cinnamon. CHARGE!”


	31. Can I please get a waffle (with cinnamon)?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You thought the no-cinnamon-for-Peter situation couldn't get worse? You're wrong because according to the encyclopedia of jmfkfnojnndkhkk... just read the chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: food and refusal to eat

"Let's tell each other secrets about ourselves. I'm gonna go first. I hate you," Peter said as he stared blankly at the med bay's wall and gripped the cast in his arm.

"I don't blame you," Bruce said while touching his head, which ached because of a mild concussion.

"At least you haven't eaten cinnamon," Clint said happily from his place in a bed, with a leg in a splint.

Tony sighed, looking down to the arm sling he had on and then at everyone else, who were in a similar state. "Drop it."

"No."

.×××.

The room was silent as Nick Fury strolled in looking frustrated.

"I wake up and, first thing I know, Earth Mightiest Heroes are already at war. Mind telling me why you all incapacitated yourselves?"

Peter hesitantly raised his hand. "I wanted cinnamon," he said with a small voice and a little guilty smile.

Fury facepalmed. He didn't even try to cover it, he just plain facepalmed.

"I hate all of you."

"That's what I said, too."

There was a moment of silence in which Fury rethought all his life choices.

"So, what are we gonna do about this?" SHIELD's director asked the Avengers.

"What exactly are you talking about? The fact that Peter here wants to do something so disturbing or the mess that we made out of the world after our little fight?" Bucky asked.

"About you all being idiots," the man replied. "Not you, Peter, you're an angel and we're thrilled to have you here."

No one questioned Fury. Peter smiled sheepishly.

"Then tell these idiots that they need to let the kid eat his cinnamon," Bruce said.

"Then tell these idiots that we can't let Peter do such thing," Clint countered, looking at Fury.

"Could you stop?" Fury snapped. "Look, you're making him cry! Come here, Pete." The dark-skinned man opened his arms at the crying teenager.

"They- they don't let me eat it, Uncle Fury," he said sadly. Fury glared at the entire team while gently stroking Peter's hair, with the kid's head in his chest.

"I know, Peter, but I'm gonna fix that," he soothed. "Right now," he added, looking at the Avengers menacingly once again.

.×××.

Fury tried.

He had given the team an hour-long lecture about Peter's happiness, but there was nothing that could be said that would change what puppy eyes hadn't.

For that reason, right after the meeting ended, Peter locked himself in his room.

The Avengers were surprised when Peter didn't come out during dinner. They left him alone after knocking in his door and getting no results. They figured he had just fallen asleep.

But then, the following day, Peter didn't leave his room during the morning, and he wasn't a person who normally slept in. With some concern building up, they tried to get him out, but silence remained constant on the other side of the door. Friday's assurance that the kid was inside and safe was the only thing keeping them from breaking down the door.

And then lunch time came around, and the Avengers all heard the first word from the kid in half a day, still through the door.

"Go away."

"What's happening, Peter?" Natasha asked. "Is everything alright?"

"I can't eat cinnamon and you're asking me if everything is _okay_?" he asked incredulously. "No, if I can't eat cinnamon, I might as well not eat anything at all."

"Little spider-"

"Stop."

"Peter-"

"Stop, I'm sensitive, Aubrey!"

When Peter used his most hated vine, she knew he was serious.

.×××.

"We need to get him out of his room, he hasn't eaten in almost an entire day, which, due to his metabolism, is like three days for him," Tony shared his concerns. "He even quoted the _Vine_." They all gasped.

"Shit, this is worse than he thought," Shuri said with a worried expression.

"If you all just dropped this ridiculousness..."

Clint shook his head softly, almost sadly. "We can't do that."

Tony stood up angrily and left the room.

Just before he left, however, he rephrased Peter's and Fury's wise words. "You all are insufferable."

.×××.

"Desperate times call for desperate solutions," Tony said somberly as he picked his phone from the dinner table that was missing Peter.

Everyone, from both teams, watched the billionaire with wonder, then gasped when they heard,

"Deadpool?"

.×××.

"You're telling me that my boyfriend is trying to commit cannibalism?" the antihero asked. Team no cinnamon grinned. "So now he's starving because these of these thick-skinned assholes?" The grins dropped.

"Oh thank God you're in our side." Tony sighed in relief and then looked at Wade. "I will regret this but- I might just approve of you having _one_ date with Peter."

Deadpool shrieked excitedly.

"I take that back."

"Wait no- no-"

"SHUT UP," Sam shouted. "You stated the problem yourself, DP. Then why are you on their side?"

Wade shrugged. "A little cannibalism never hurt anyone. Plus, it makes Peter happy, and otherwise he'll starve." His eyes darkened. "The sky will _fall_ before I let that happen to my Baby Boy."

Team no cinnamon chuckled nervously, but realized they were now outnumbered. They needed new recruits.

And Shuri knew the perfect people for the job.

.×××.

"What do you mean he was trying to eat cinnamon? And that so many of you encouraged it?" MJ asked in shock and worry. If she was letting feelings show, then the situation really was getting out of hand.

"Just what you heard," Steve said with an expression of worry of his own.

Flash **(nice!flash because yes)** stood abruptly. "What the hell, Carl?"

MJ and Shuri nodded along.

"We're not letting that happen."

Rhodey suddenly spoke up. "Of the teens I can understand, but you adults-" he made air quotes- "really need to let this go."

"Peter can't eat cinnamon's arm!" Thor exclaimed.

"It's cinnamon, for fucks sake," Strange complained tiredly.

"No!"

"Yes!"

And so another discussion filled the previously somewhat peaceful room.

"Let the kid be happy!"

"The readers will kill you if any harm comes to him."

"Guys, just stop."

"We can't!" Steve started with frustration.

He didn't notice the elevator that opened, nor the "Brother, we should-"

"We can't let Peter be happy through such perverse ways!"

Silence.

Loki stepped in, threateningly quiet. "What did you do? Why isn't Peter happy?"

No one answered.

"If none of you speak up, I swear-"

"Okay, okay! Chill! We're not letting Peter eat cinnamon, that's it," Sam admitted nervously.

The god inhaled deeply, trying to calm himself down.

"I might just have to stab someone."

.×××.

"We recruited someone else," Clint said from their side of the living room. "Someone that's coming from far away. If you haven't noticed yet, that means we outnumber you."

Tony raised a brow. "Really? We also recruited someone from far away. Which means that we're even again. And, if Peter joins this fight too, we outnumber you."

Team no cinnamon scowled.

Team cinnamon copied them.

Once again, the elevator opened. This time, Scott Lang came out of it.

"Hey, guys. I told Cassie there was an emergency and that I would be back in some days. This is something that can be fixed in a few days, right?"

Natasha smirked at the opposing team. She seemed almost amused. "That's the help from far away that you got?"

Out of the blue, someone flew in from the window.

"Stark, you said there was an emergency?" Captain Marvel said, standing tall in all her glory.

"Yes, it regards Peter. These idiots are making the kid sad by saying he can't eat cinnamon."

"But Peter-" Bucky started protesting.

Carol pointed at him and his side in general. "You shut up."

Loki smiled.

"Where's this kid?" the newcomer asked. Natasha was the one to lead her to Peter's room

As they left, Steve spoke up with a panicked expression. "When you said you recruited someone from far away I thought you meant like from halfway across the word at most, not the galaxy."

Tony shrugged. "My kid won't suffer because of you," he said simply, as if he hadn't called one of the most powerful beings in existence to get Spidey his cinnamon.

"Don't you know he's extra, Steve?" Shuri asked.

"True."

.×××.

Being half alien had its perks, like getting a cinnamon-deprived, sad and stubborn kid to come out of his room.

Just like everyone else, Carol fell victim of his innocent appearance and kind heart. Within minutes of knowing him, she'd do anything to make him happy.

Giving him cinnamon was undoubtedly included, so the three of them headed to the kitchen.

"So, what do you want me to make you?"

"Waffles with cinnamon, please!"

"Sure, kiddo."

Faster than was humanly possible (unsurprisingly) Carol prepared the food.

"NO," Clint stepped out of nowhere and took the plate out of the woman's hands.

Captain Marvel turned to him, glowering. "You did not."

Clint bravely resisted her threat. "I did."

Carol threw herself onto the man, trying to kill him. The rest of the teams were fast to dive right in into the fight.

On one side, there was Tony, Bruce, Natasha, Vision, Rhodey, Strange, Fury, Deadpool, Loki and Carol.

On the other side, Clint, Steve, Bucky, Sam, Wanda, Shuri, Thor, MJ, Flash and Scott.

It was complete fucking chaos.

The heroes that had participated in the previous fight were using their casts and splints to get revenge, while the rest basically tried to kill each other the way the others had before.

"Gotta unalive whoever makes Petey sad!"

"He. Can't. Eat. Cinnamon!"

"Shut up!"

Peter just stood there, perplexed, though he shouldn't have been.

"Can I get a waffle?"

A few screams, insults and threats from the fight were heard, but no reply.

"Can I _please_ get a waffle?!"

As no one answered, Peter shrugged and turned to the elevator.

Peter calmly pressed the button, while the Avengers continued trying to kill each other behind him. He waited patiently, tapping his feet, as the elevator arrived, while the relentless battle continued in the kitchen. Peter left the tower, took a taxi, and rode to Queens in silence, with the fight still distinguishable as background noise.

Almost as if he hadn’t just left Earth (and space) Mightiest Heroes battling each other over him, Peter entered his apartment.

"Hi, Aunt May! Can I get some cinnamon muffins, please?"

"Sure, honey. Here."

And Peter finally ate his cinnamon.

**(Alternative ending:**  
**"ciNnaMoN" peter cinnamoaned.**  
**"NO"**  
**":("**  
**"YES"**  
**":)"**  
**Then team cinnamon murdered team no cinnamon and Peter rode his cookies to the other side of the rainbow)**


	32. Don't mess with the kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rogues come back to the tower. Peter's bitter about it (only towards Steve tho, he's an asshole).

Tony had a meeting. But he was busy.

Problem was that Pepper hadn't told him that the meeting was with the Rogue Avengers and he couldn't miss it. She had asked Peter to tell him, but Peter didn't.

Because Peter was kinda hoping he wouldn't go so he could take his place.

And his wish came true.

•×××•

Peter walked into the room like he wasn't just a random kid going into a meeting with the Avengers.

He wasn't, but they didn't know that.

Unbeknownst to them, the kid they saw as calmly threatening was usually happy and carefree.

But not today. Not to them, at least.

"Who are you?" It was Natasha who spoke.

"I'm Peter," he said, as if that cleared all doubts.

"And you are here because...?" Captain America bravely asked what was in everyone's minds.

"Because Tony couldn't make it to the meeting, so I'm here in his place."

"But this is Avengers' business, it's confidential," Sam said in confusion.

"Oh, don't worry," Peter dismissed his concerns, "I already know all there is to know about you and your situation."

Okay, that was certainly unexpected.

"How old even are you?" Scott asked.

"Just turned 16."

"Is it even legal for you to be here?" Steve asked.

Peter shrugged. "I'm Tony's intern."

"Okay," Clint said, dragging out the a.

There was an uncomfortable silence for some seconds, before Steve cleared his throat and spoke.

"Let's start the meeting, shall we?"

The meeting went as planned, except that the person making the arrangements that Tony was supposed to do was instead a kid.

Everyone was confusion.

Except Peter, of course.

"You'll be given your own floor, three floors down from the penthouse. You can't, under any circumstances, go to the penthouse unless you're called by Tony, Pepper, Happy, Rhodey or me first." Peter's voice held no compassion whatsoever, he was just indifferent and went straight to the point without trying to sugarcoat it.

"What if someone's dying?" Clint asked, being the first who dared interrupt the kid.

Peter wasn't so cold when he spoke to the archer. "You call Friday, she'll know what to do. If it gets critical, she'll call us."

"Are you here often?" Natasha asked almost curiously.

"Irrelevant, but yes. I basically live here half the time."

The team started to notice Peter was only apathetic towards Steve.

"Can Tony take care of you?" said soldier asked. He sounded close to concerned.

"Of course, he's the best mentor ever." Peter frowned.

"He isn't drunk much around you, isn't he? And he doesn't ignore you-?"

Steve was interrupted by the kid, whose eyes had visibly darkened.

"No. I told you, he's a good mentor."

"You can tell us the truth," Steve tried to assure him. "We can help."

Peter stood up abruptly.

"You come to his tower, where he is so generously letting you stay, and you dare insult him like that? Calling him a drunk and calling him neglectful?" Peter was seething. He couldn't believe it.

"Woah, kid, calm down!" Steve tried uselessly to pacify the angry teen.

"He has no reason to let you stay, he gets nothing from it, and yet he's still willing to house you, clothe you and feed you. He has absolutely no obligation to do this, but he's willing anyway because you're supposed to be his friends. But after all that happened during Civil War, how you went against him and then left him to die, and what you're saying now, Rogers, I don't think you're very good at it."

Natasha turned to the super soldier sharply. "What's this he's saying that you left Stark to die?"

"Oh, he didn't tell you?" Peter asked them all with raised eyebrows. "Doesn't really surprise me; what he did was disgusting." Peter stopped for a second to glare at Steve and then started narrating. "He fought Tony until he could barely move, broke Tony's arc reactor with his shield and then left him there, in a secret cave no one would be able to find, completely helpless." After a little, horrified pause, Peter added, "He still gets nightmares of one of his closest friends betraying him and trying to kill him."

Almost unconsciously, the whole team took a step towards the boy and away from Steve, who didn't deny the accusations.

"And why would Tony tell all this to a sixteen-year-old? How thoughtless can he be?" Steve said, but completely missed the way Peter's expression turned colder than ice. "And sending you here? There's no excuse for that."

Peter narrowed his eyes. "I've spared you way too many things already. Now I tell you, and this is not a warning, it's a threat, don't mess with my dad."

The people in the room were silent.

"What? He's your father?" Steve looked scandalized. "He can't even take care of himself, he can't raise a kid. He's too irresponsible and unreliable-"

A fist was stomped in the oak wood desk, breaking it in half.

"I _dare_ you to finish that sentence."

Steve gulped and went to speak again, but Bucky, who had been extremely quiet during the whole meeting, grabbed him by the arm.

"Don't," he simply said, but he was hinting with his tone that this was no game. "He's right; we don't know him enough, and after what we did we don't have the right to judge. We haven't even seen him in two years. Steve, just shut up."

"It's fine, Mr. Barnes, I don't blame you, you weren't completely yourself. But him?" Peter pointed at Steve with something that resembled disdain. "He has no excuse.

"So now," Peter told everyone but Steve, who had been left in a corner, "you can go up to your new rooms and make yourselves comfortable.

"And you, Brooklyn bitch," Peter looked at Steve, "you can go fuck yourself."


	33. Spider-Man's first press conference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spider-Man attends his first press conference ever, but he doesn't know when to shut up.

Spider-Man was a mystery to the public; no one knew anything about him. He always popped up when there was a crime, made sassy remarks, webbed the criminal, helped the victims and then disappeared.

Tony decided that it was time for that fact to change, and Peter agreed.

So now they were sitting in front of a crowd of excited journalists.

"Alright, people, calm down," Tony said and stood up. "As you all know, I'm Tony Stark, but today we're not here to talk about me. We're here to talk about..." he paused for dramatic effect.

"Mr. Stark, you know I'm sitting right next to you, don't you?"

"Why must you be like this, Spidey?" Tony feigned feeling hurt. "Okay, fine, we're here for Spider-Man!"

Peter stood up. "Hi, thanks for coming! I'm Spider-Man, and today I'll be answering any questions you have," he rushed to clarify, "except my name, age, or any other personal information."

The crowd of hungry journalists grumbled but reluctantly agreed.

"So... let's get this show on the road!" Tony said, and everyone raised their hands at once.

Peter hesitated for a bit but chose a man, who, unlike the rest, was just politely raising his hand up and didn't look like he was about to eat him alive.

"Hi. I'm Alec, from the channel _insert name here cause I'm not creative_. I wanted to ask you, what do you think is you best accomplishment?"

Spider-Man stayed in silence for a couple of seconds, thinking.

"Hi Alec! I can't really judge the importance of what I do." The man tilted his head a little in confusion, and Peter saw this. "I mean, I stop criminals from robbing, and attacking, and murdering, and raping. I can't assign one more importance than the others because that would be unfair. The victims are the only ones that know how each event would have affected them, and how that changed because I was there. My accomplishments can't be judged by me, they have to be judged by the people."

The man that had asked the question was nodding along to everything he said and seemed satisfied while he wrote notes rapidly.

"Thank you," he said.

Peter went to pick another person, and it seemed that the journalists had taken the clue that he wouldn't pick someone who was rudely trying to be noticed. They all now sat in silence. Peter decided to pick a woman at the back.

"Hi, my name's Silena, from channel _insert name again_. I wanted to ask you, have you had your powers all your life? Why do you have them? Or do they come from the suit?"

"Hi Silena! I do have powers, the suit is just to conceal my identity, and now it has some tech added by Mr. Stark, but the rest it all me. And no, I acquired these powers, I wasn't born with them. You see, I was bitten by a radioactive spider- that is now dead and can't be replicated, so don't go doing stupid things. It wasn't intentional either, I wasn't experimented on or anything, but I was in a field trip with school when I was fourteen, a weird spider bit me and then boom, I had powers, and I started going out as Spider-Man soon after."

The crowd went crazy.

Tony face-palmed.

"The first sighting of Spider-Man ever recorded was less than two years ago! Are you fifteen?!"

Peter crossed his arms. "No! I'm sixteen."

People continued to scream. 

"Sixteen? Then why are you called Spider-Man and not... Spiderling?" someone asked.

"Crime-fighting Spider, Spider-Boy?" Tony and Peter said simultaneously and then burst out laughing, confusing everyone. They didn't care.

"Back to the questions now!" Tony said once they finally stopped. "And don't give away more details, kid," he reprimanded, but it was playful. I mean, after all he _was_ the man who had up and said "I am Iron Man".

Peter chose another woman, with a grin still visible behind the mask.

"Hi. I'm Charlotte, from channel _name_. My question is: what inspires you to be a hero?"

Spider-Man's demeanor became guarded for some seconds, but he took a deep breath and began talking anyway. "Hi Charlotte! Well, you see, I had just gotten my powers, and I saw a robbery but didn't do anything about it. Then the same robber, that same day, shot my uncle, who was like my dad. As I held him before he died, he told me ‘with great power comes great responsibility’. If I had stopped the robbery back then, my uncle would be alive, but he isn't, and what he told me inspired me to become Spider-Man. I need to help people, because I can do it. I told Mr. Stark once that, when you can do the things that I do, but you don't and then bad things happen... they happen because of you."

There was a stunned silence before the soft noise of pens scraping paper arrived.

But the journalists were shocked; that boy, who was fourteen at the time, had held his uncle in his arms as he bled out to death, knowing he could have probably done something about it.

But they all disagreed; they didn't believe it was the kid's fault.

By the looks of it, Tony was quietly trying to convince the kid of the same thing.

"Next question," Spider-Man said, interrupting whatever the billionaire was saying.

Hesitantly, people raised their hands. Peter chose a man this time.

"Hi, Spider-Man. I'm Magnus, from channel _you know the drill already_. I wanted to ask you if many people know your secret identity, or is it completely secret? I mean, at least your parents know, right?"

Peter chuckled.

"Hi Magnus! You asked about my parents? My parents are dead."

"Kid! You can't just say things like that!" Tony scolded him, horrified. Peter dismissed what he said.

"And no, my identity isn't completely a secret. God knows it isn't." He chuckled again. "My best friend and my aunt know because I took off my mask in front of them in my bedroom without noticing they were there, _two separate times_."

Some journalists laughed along, while others were too busy scribbling in their notepads.

"And then, obviously, there's Mr. Stark, who simply appeared in my apartment once and said he knew who I was, recruited me and gave me the suit I'm using now. And, before any of you asks, I don’t want to reveal my identity because it would put my family and friends in danger of any enemies I make."

"Thank you," Magnus said.

Peter chose another man.

"Hello. I'm Lester, from channel _yadda yadda_. What exactly are your powers?"

Spider-Man started to speak but was cut off by Tony before he could reveal anything.

"Nope, that’s confidential."

Peter tilted his head. "Why?"

"Because the fact that criminals don't know your powers gives you an advantage in battle."

Peter shrugged, apologized to Lester and chose a woman to ask the next question.

"Hi. I'm Cristina, from channel _I should be doing hw but whatever_. What's the hardest thing you've ever had to do as Spider-Man?”

Peter, once again, chuckled.

"Remember the ferry incident last year?" he asked, but didn't wait for a response. "Okay, so, that day Mr. Stark came, gave me a Dad lecture of responsibility and took away my suit as punishment. Wait, let's go back a bit; I had discovered someone who was using alien tech to make weapons and was about to sell them. Then Mr. Stark told me to drop the investigation, but I had new and _very_ important information, and no one was picking up the phone, and this guy was gonna steal SI tech and I couldn't let that happen. So I um... jilted my homecoming date and left the school in search of her dad- oh wait I forgot that part. 

"Well, I went to pick up my date for homecoming and you know who opened the door? The weapon dealer! So I, of course, got nervous but he didn't know who I was since he hadn't seen me without the mask but then we got in the car and he finally recognized my voice. My date went inside the school while her dad talked to me, and he told me to stay away from his plans that day. That's how I found out what he was going to do. And now we go back to where I left.

"Okay, so I left my date to go after her dad, who turned out to be a criminal and was about to steal SI tech. I went into the warehouse where he was, and he started firing at me with his weird weapons from his suit. I dodged, thinking he was aiming at me, but turns out he wasn't! He was actually aiming for the support columns, so he fired at them and flew away before I could understand what he had done. And suddenly- boom! I had a five story warehouse on top of me!" Peter laughed, but it was more of an anxious, sad laugh. "And I didn't have my tech suit, so I couldn't call anyone for help. I lay under the warehouse for some time, but no one heard me screaming, so I built up strength and lifted the thing off of me. 

"After that, I still needed to stop the guy from stealing from SI, so I used my webs to get to the plane were the tech was, stuck to it and fought my date's dad while trying not to fall because we were on the outside and he kept trying to kill me. The plane caught on fire and fell, and I made it out but the guy was in the middle of the flames and the remains of the plane, so I looked for him, put him away from the flames and webbed him up so he wouldn't escape. The police took him, I dropped from exhaustion. Who would have known all that would be so tiring?"

Alec, Silena, Charlotte, Magnus, Lester, Cristina and every single person in the conference stared at him with wide, horrified, eyes, and open mouths.

"Kid, you didn't tell me-"

"Nah, it's fine. Any other question?"


	34. Consequences of an eventful press conference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was tired, 'k?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of Spider-Man's first press conference
> 
> I'm not sure what this is, I just thought of it and said why not? So here

"It was revealed during today's press conference that Spider-Man is actually a Spider-Boy! For more news, stay tuned to Insert name here 'cause I'm not creative," the channel's host said with a big smile.

•×××•

"Today, in Insert name again, we will be discussing Spider-Man's unexpected personality-"

•×××•

The host sipped her coffee. "I'm telling you, Name shouldn't get involved in superhero business."

•×××•

"We're back from the commercial break! Specialists today will be analyzing Spider-Man's attitude to determine if what he said about his age was true. Don't miss it, only in You know the drill already!"

("He quoted a vine, he wasn't lying.")

•×××•

"I said it before, and I'll say it again, there's no way someone can lift a five story warehouse and them fight in a plane. We shouldn't spread lies in Yadda yadda-"

•×××•

"I should be doing hw but whatever will be discussing today Spider-Man's background story-"


	35. Exhaustion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dark Peter. Dark, dark Peter.   
> The public is as hateful towards Spider-Man as ever, and he just can't take it anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: this will be very, very dark. So… murder, a little bit of self-hate and more murder.
> 
> This one shot will be extremely different to the ones I always write since I’m honestly not comfortable writing these kinds of things, but it was requested so…yeah. If you don’t feel comfortable reading about dark Peter then skip this.

Peter only wanted to help a man that was being robbed, nothing more. He landed beside the thief and saw the man cower back in fear.

But the man wasn't looking at the thief; he was looking at Peter.

Not paying attention to that, maybe because he didn't notice or because he didn't want to notice, Peter webbed up the criminal and turned to the man to give him his wallet back.

The man, however, was already stumbling away from the scene.

"Don't hurt me, you- you monster!"

Peter looked down at the wallet he held in his ignored outstretched hand and sighed. It was not the first time it happened. In fact, that was what he mostly got now. Gone were the days old ladies thanked him for helping them, or that kids ran to him for a picture and a quick demonstration of his powers, or that he was happy.

Why did they hate him so much?

_ J.J. Jameson _ , he reminded himself bitterly. That guy had intended to make his life living hell, and he had achieved it. Nights out in patrol had become nights of people running away from him, of kids crying in his presence, of a feeling of absolute sadness, pain and tiredness he just couldn't deal with anymore.

It wasn't tiredness anymore, he realized, it was pure exhaustion. 

And he hated it.

He hated that he was being constantly followed by the police, slapped by victims he had saved, and feared by children.

Seeing the forgotten wallet in his hand, he finally snapped. He never become Spider-Man to be famous or to be thanked, he did it to help. But now it seemed people didn't appreciate his help.

If the police wanted to follow him, or victims wanted to slap him, or children wanted to fear him, he'd give them all a reason to.

They would see that all this time he hadn't been a criminal, that he hadn't been a menace.

Because now he would be.

•×××•

When Peter swung back home that night, he relished the silence and solitude.

Peter looked through his few personal belongings, searching for things he'd need. He rummaged through the kitchen's drawers, and through his bathroom, putting all the things he picked inside a bag.

As he did so, he thought back to everything that had happened.

Peter thought about J.J. Jameson and couldn't help the resentment settling in his chest. That man had spread lies about him, he had taken all his good deeds and he had twisted them into something despicable.

Countless were the days he had cried after patrol, having been out all night to try and help only to get hate and harmful words sent his way. He had done nothing to deserve that.

Endless, hopeless nights getting seriously injured and sleep deprived, only to receive spite in return. What Peter couldn’t tolerate was that many of his loved ones were dead too because of him.

So what was the point?

All the people had hated Spider-Man so much that they made him hate himself, and feared him so much that even he started to believe he was a menace. Now they had convinced him, not that he was a menace but that he could become one.

And, for the first time, he wanted to.

Even the sweet Peter Parker, the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, had a limit to his patience and selflessness.

It had been reached.

It was for that reason that he was now heading to the house of the man that had started all this mess. Carefully and silently, he forced a window open and made his way inside.

Few times had Spider-Man needed to be stealthy, as his approach to criminals was much more up-front, but this time he was so quiet that not even someone with enhanced hearing would have been able to detect him.

Peter approached the only bedroom of the house and webbed the man’s mouth, then webbed him to the bed in which he laid.

Calmly, he made his way outside and opened his bag, taking out one single object and holding it close to the door.

Without remorse, he watched the lighter slowly engulf J.J. Jameson’s wooden door in flames.

One down.

•×××•

Spider-Man then headed to his next target’s house.

He remembered his face, remembered his expression when he fired the gun. Peter had kept tabs on the guy and was angry to realize life was treating him right.

Life wasn’t treating him like he had murdered Ben in cold blood, so Peter would.

He entered the criminal’s house the same way he had done before, but this time he had a different plan.

“Who’s there?”

Peter smiled.

Two webs were shot at the man as soon as he was within sight, holding his arms, and a third one went towards his mouth to muffle the screams he was planning to provoke.

A knife leaving the former hero’s hand was the reason for the first one, and the second knife was met instead with the silence of death.

Two down. One to go. 

•×××•

A mental asylum was surprisingly easy to infiltrate, Peter discovered as he entered through the front doors without a single word being said to him.

He made his way inside, to a room he had imagined himself in hundreds of times before. He never thought he’d ever build up the courage to actually go, but there he was.

His victim? Harry Osborn.

All these years, Peter had blamed himself for Gwen’s death, but he was now certain it was Harry’s fault, so he would pay.

“Missed me?”

Harry leaped out of his bed, walking backwards towards the furthest wall.

Peter smiled, wondering if Harry was the only insane person in the room.

One single web towards the neck was all it took this time, asphyxiating him. 

Three down. He was done.

Peter walked away calmly, but not before leaving a simple note in the doorstep, just like he had done with the previous two victims.

“Have fun trying to stop what you started now that I’m not holding back.

-Courtesy of your resident menace, Spider-Man.”


	36. Field trip + Hulk = Peter hates life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter has a field trip to- oh surprise- Stark Towers, and Hulk decides he's bored so he should pay his friend a visit.

Hulk was known as an aggressive, dislikable monster.

But let's think about it for a second, how could he not, when he was always repressed and forced back once he managed to come out?

That's why Hulk liked Peter: he was the only one who had ever interacted with him in a friendly way without his ultimate goal being pushing him back so Bruce could take control again. Peter actually appreciated Hulk as a real friend. A big, clumsy and strong friend, but a friend nonetheless.

Peter met the Hulk not intentionally, of course. Bruce had hulked out over a situation and nothing the Avengers did was working. And then, Peter came back from school. He began greeting everyone but stopped halfway to do a double take.

"Is this the Hulk?" he asked. "He's so cool!"

Everyone stopped moving, including the big guy, who slowly looked down at the teenager.

"Hi, Hulk!" the teen said. He wasn't scared, only excited, but he was still cautious; he knew this wasn't a game.

Hulk looked around, clearly confused.

"I'm Peter!"

More silence.

"How are you?"

Everyone stared at Peter, including Hulk, though the latter was curious in contrast with the scared faces littering the room.

"Hulk is- Hulk is angry," the big guy said, but he didn't sound so any more. He had stopped trashing and making a mess out of the living room.

"And why are you angry?" Peter asked him calmly.

Hulk pointed at Steve and then at the floor, where a broken vial and sprayed red liquid lay. "He broke it," Hulk growled, restoring some of his previous feelings.

"Oh, I see," Peter started. "But I think that can be fixed. I will help Bruce remake that... substance once he comes back. For now, how do you feel about playing catch?"

That's all it took for Hulk to love the little teen, who could match his strength in any insignificant game he came up with whenever they were together. Peter didn't ask for Bruce, didn't ask Hulk to calm down, didn't restrain him nor tell him to hold back his strength, nothing. The only thing Peter asked was for him to wait until they got to a special part of the tower Tony designed for them, were breaking things wasn't a problem and there were no people around to harm. It worked perfectly for both parts.

At first, Peter was just a way of helping prevent the city was destroyed by the big rage monster when it came out, but then that slowly changed until Peter would ask Bruce to hang out with the Hulk, or the Hulk would come out (both peacefully or by force, depending the day) to play with his new tiny friend.

That was not always good.

Why? Well, it could cause... problems, just like the one that happened when Peter went on a field trip to SI and Hulk decided he was bored and wanted his friend.

.×××.

Peter's day was normal, if what you consider normal includes going with your class to your billionaire mentor's tower to have a tour of the building which just happens to be the one you will inherit and the place where your family of super heroes live.

Just a normal day.

That was a big, enormous, gigantic lie. Peter had been dreading this day since the very moment it was announced. And now, he sat inside the stereotypical yellow bus, just waiting for doom.

"Okay, we're here!" Mr. Harrington called out.

To avoid getting hurt by the enthusiastic students, Peter stayed behind and left the bus last.

"I hate life."

It was a wise statement, one he lived up to for the whole day. Especially when Friday told his classmates what his clearance was, when Clint thought it was a good idea to pay them a visit, and when they were visiting the R&D labs and Hulk decided he was bored.

"Peter, code green," Bruce had said, interrupting the guide's speech. Silence took over the room, as one of the most renown scientists had spoken. And he had spoken to Peter.

Bruce, under the influence of the teen's pleading eyes, had been pretending not to know him. And then, all of a sudden, they all saw him speak to Peter in codes.

So it was no wonder why "what the fuck" was the main thought shared in the room.

"Please, no. Not now, please," Peter all but begged.

"He's fighting me, I can't," Bruce tried to warn, but he was already turning green.

"Hulk, please. We'll play later, buddy, I swear!"

"Hulk bored. Hulk wants tiny friend."

Well, fuck.

"Hi, Hulk," Peter sighed.

"Hide and seek," Hulk said proudly, as if that statement made complete sense.

"You wanna play hide and seek? Okay, but let's go to the indestructible room," Peter agreed begrudgingly. He liked Hulk, he was his friend, but _why now_?

"Carry me!"

Oh, fuck life.

A sudden weight was on the teen's back, who didn't even stumble.

Peter remembered the day Hulk found out he was strong enough to carry him. The spider-themed hero's back had ached for an entire day afterwards.

And now, in a lab with multiple dangerous objects and substances, in front of his classmates, with a giant green rage monster in his back, Peter's face showed clearly he had given up in life.

His eyes tiredly fixated in his shocked and frightened class.

"Hulk is special."


	37. Oops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter unexpectedly arrives at the compound while the Avengers are having bonding night- which is failure, of course, until Peter intervenes.

After Civil War, the Rogue Avengers were pardoned and welcomed back in the compound. That, however, didn’t mean that both teams were pleased to be with each other, as rivalries had awoken and were hard to push back.

That’s why Nick Fury was forcing them to spend time together twice a week, which was an amazing idea.

Not.

And there they were, seating across each other, trying and failing to decide what game they would play next.

Rhodey spoke up, “I say monopoly.”

“Mario kart,” Clint countered.

More fights were born of those propositions, each Avenger trying to get everyone to play what they wanted.

“Please, the only logical option is Just Dance,” an unknow voice said from the window. Seconds later, every weapon in the room was directed to the intruder.

“Who-?” Steve began threatening but realized midway who it was. “Spider-Man?”

Peter held his hands up in a “hold up, I’m innocent” fashion.

“Hey, Spidey,” Tony said off-handedly. He was the only one still seated and calm. He was used to Peter’s entrances, after all.

“Hi, Mr. Stark!”

Everyone dropped their weapons.

“Tony, did you invite him?” Sam asked in confusion.

“Nope, he does whatever he wants.”

Spider-Man visibly smiled under the mask.

Before anyone else could make a comment, Tony spoke again, “Did you need something?”

Peter glanced around for a second, as if coming to a decision, and said, “What? Don’t you want me here? I’m hurt, Mr. Stark.”

“That’s not it and you know it, kid,” Tony said, feigning annoyance but with a small smile in his lips and relaxed shoulders. It was the most relaxed any of the Avengers had seen him since they were back, they noticed.

“Wait, ‘kid’?” Clint asked. Judging by Natasha’s frown, she was thinking the same thing.

“Uhh-“

“He doesn’t have any reason to reveal his identity to you yet, so he won’t say his age.”

“He must be around twenty-five then. Tony used to call Wanda ‘kid’ at that age, too,” Steve said. No one answered.

Awkward silence.

“Anyway, you said Just Dance?” Tony broke the uncomfortable atmosphere.

Surprisingly, everyone agreed. It seemed like Spider-Man had some influence in them, for a reason they couldn’t understand.

From that moment on, the tension in the room practically disappeared.

“And then the old lady bought me a churro!” Peter said, making Rhodey and Clint smile in amusement and slight, unnoticed, fondness.

“How many old ladies have you helped, Spidey?” Natasha asked from the other side of the room, where she was still playing cards with Tony, just like Peter had left her half an hour ago.

“I can’t really remember, wait a sec,” he answered honestly. “Karen, how many?”

“An approximated of forty per week since you have this suit,” a female voice said aloud from the suit.

“Woah, kid, that’s nice,” Tony praised him.

“Thank you, Mr. Stark, but that’s just my job,” Peter said, flustered.

“Stop with the modesty, kid, because not every fifteen-year-old is out in the streets every week helping old ladies”

Every last person in the room froze.

“Did you say-“ Bucky started.

“Fifteen?” Steve finished. He looked horrified.

Peter took off his mask now that his secret was out and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Yeah, I’m fifteen.”

A second of silence and then everyone’s voices juxtaposed.

“Holy cow-“

“What the heck?”

“Damn, kid!”

“Oh god, he’s fifteen-“

“Everyone _shut up_ ,” Tony yelled. “Kid, why are you so pale? Have you been sleeping enough? Eating? Damn, kid, you know your metabolism is fast,” Tony’s Concerned Dad Mode had been activated.

“No, Mr. Stark, none of that!” Tony relaxed. “But I- you know I didn’t get to tell you why I was here in the first place.” Tony tensed once again.

“Peter…” The man started warningly.

“I just needed a place to crash for some hours, just until…”

“Until…?” Tony asked anxiously.

“I may or may not have been stabbed,” Peter admitted. “Thrice,” he added.

“Peter! Are you alright? Why didn’t you say anything?!” Tony was frantic now, running beside the teen.

All these hours that the kid had been appeasing the childish fights of the Avengers, who were all adults, he had sustained painful injuries. And yet, Peter had been worrying about them, trying and succeeding to get their relationships back to the way they were before the Accords, and completely neglecting his own health.

“Meh, a couple stabs, gunshots and broken ribs aren’t much. I healed just fine,” he dismissed Tony’s concerns.

“What if you hadn’t? Peter, you healed painfully only so you didn’t ‘bother’ us. You could have _died_!”

Peter tilted his head to the side slightly. “Where are the downsides?”

“Kid, _what the hell_?”


	38. Twitter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A compilation of tweets. With lots of gen z humor. That's all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't look for a plot 'cause there's none lol
> 
> Quick guide: The first tweet is the main one, answered by the rest below it (before the skips). The number of ">" tell you who the people are replying to, though I also added the @ beside the names for it to be easier (so, unless they are replying to the original tweet, the @ indicates who they are talking to).  
> Peter has three accounts: Intern, Peter and Spidey. No one knows they're all the same person, because Intern and Spidey are anonymous.
> 
> There are also three new people: Concerned Parent, Fan and Gen Z. They're just random people, they're basically OCs
> 
> Normal usernames because I'm not creative :)
> 
> Enjoy!

**Spidey**

During patrol today I was dealing with this mean man and he shot to the sky to shut me up. So, I fell to the ground and he smirked thinking he scared me but then I said "This is why mom doesn't fucking love you!" And then dread filled his eyes

> **Clint**  
I'm sorry, you said what? That's not Steve-friendly

>> **Steve** @ Clint  
I'm never gonna live that down am i

> **Gen Z**  
I swear to god if you didn't say I Have Fallen And I Can't Get Up after that I'll disown you

>> **Spidey** @ Gen Z  
I feel offended you even doubted me

.×××.

 **Deadpool**  
What will you do when I shoot myself?

> **Concerned Parent**  
"When"??!?

>> **Peter** @ Concerned parent   
He's Deadpool, he wants to shoot himself on a daily basis and does it

> **Spidey**  
Wait for me DP

> **Gen Z**  
Imagine threatening to shoot yourself and actually being able to do it  
A real d r e a m

>> **Concerned Parent** @ Gen Z  
Wha

.×××.

 **Intern**   
It's finals week haha   
I wanna kill myself

> **Tony**  
Kid what the fuck are you okay

> **Bucky**  
Whenever you feel like killing yourself, you know my window is always open

>> **Tony** @ Bucky  
Don't you mean your door?

>>> **Bucky** @ Tony  
No, I mean my window

> **Steve**  
There's bleach at the tower, or chlorine, whatever you prefer

> **Bucky**  
I also have some guns I could lend you if you're interested

> **Gen Z**  
Bucky and Steve mixing their fatalistic WWII humor with our Gen Z humor- I stan

.×××.

 **Spidey**  
This life empty YEET

> **Peter**  
You go Spidey!

> **Concerned Parent**  
"Yeet" meant... OH NO DON'T JUMP

>> **Gen Z** @ Concerned Parent  
Uhh... Spidey jumps off buildings on a daily basis ??

.×××.

 **Tony**  
My intern is the best

> **Intern**  
I have been r e p l a c e d

>> **Tony** @ Intern  
Kid I was literally talking about you  
Are you alright?

>>> **Intern** @ Tony  
I am now :,)

.×××.

 **Fan**  
Does anyone else ship Spidey with DP? I mean, considering their personalities, I think they'd be perfect for each other

> **Tony**  
OH HELL NO

> **Spidey**  
We interacted in twitter like twice, how?

>> **Deadpool** @ Spidey  
I don't know Spidey, but what do you think?

>>> **Spidey** @ Deadpool   
You say that as if we weren't already dating

>>>> **Intern** @ Spidey  
Oh, Spidey, I'm hurt! I thought that what we had was special

>>>>> **Peter** @ Intern  
Intern? What do you mean? Are you cheating on me?

>>>>>> **Spidey** @ Peter  
Are you cheating on me, Peter?

>>>>>>> **Deadpool** @ Spidey  
What do you mean? I am dating Peter?

>>>>>>>> **Intern** @ Deadpool  
You too, Deadpool? You were also cheating? I feel the betrayal

>>>>>>>>> **Fan**  
Hold up what

.×××.

 **Spidey**  
Okay so today, this mean lady took out a knife and stabbed me and I was like "that's not very knife of you" and then we chatted for fifteen minutes

> **Tony**  
Wait you were wHAT

> **Gen Z**  
The best friendships always start by stabbing each other :')

>> **Peter** @ Gen Z  
I know!

.×××.

 **Intern**  
Don't you just hate it when you're walking to school and you're shot like,,, dude no

> **Gen Z**  
Yeah, it's so annoying

> **Tony**  
Kid-

>> **Intern** @ Tony   
Oops wrong account sorry

>>> **Tony** @ Intern  
That was NOT the problem with the tweet for fucks sake

> **Fan**  
what

> **Concerned Parent**  
_What_??!?

.×××.

 **Tony**  
Can someone please tell Spider-Man that when a criminal threatens to shoot you you don't say "bold of you to assume I want to live"?

> **Spidey**  
Okay :( I'm sorry for existing :(

> **Gen Z**  
I mean,,, mood

> **Concerned Parent**  
Uh-

.×××.

 **Tony**  
My intern isn't answering his phone, can we spam him? I need to know if he's alright

> **Concerned Parent**  
Aww okay!

> **Gen Z**  
So the Intern just quit existing and left me alone to suffer? The audacity

> **Intern**  
Hi, thanks for checking in! I'm still a piece of g a r b a g e

>> **Tony** @ Intern  
Please stop. I'm BEGGING you.

>> **Concerned Parent** @ Intern  
I-

.×××.

 **Peter**  
Due to personal reasons, I have decided that from today on I'm a plant

> **Deadpool**  
yes

>> **Peter** @ Deadpool  
*does photosynthesis*

> **Tony**  
Kid, no

>> **Peter** @ Tony  
*releases CO2*

> **Concerned Parent**  
Are you okay?

>> **Peter** @ Concerned Parent  
*absorbs mineral salts*

> **Gen Z**  
Cool, I'll join  
*absorbs sunlight*

>> **Peter** @ Gen Z   
*absorbs sunlight*

.×××.

 **Spidey**  
Today one woman I prevented from being mugged said something homophobic after praising me and I told her I swing both ways. Still waiting for her to catch on.

> **Deadpool**  
Where's the bitch? Can I unalive her?

> **Gen Z**  
Yasss Spideyy! You go sis!

> **Concerned Parent**  
We all love you, Spidey, don't let her words get to you!

> **Tony**  
Can I sue her?

.×××.

 **Shuri**  
You can tell me that deaged Spidey isn't the kid in the Is An Avocado Thanks vine but I won't believe you

> **Spidey**  
I feel touched

> **Tony**  
Uhh-?

> **Gen Z**  
I wanna meet Spidey personally if this is true, but, yk, I'm Michael with a b

>> **Spidey** @ Gen Z  
I'll have you know I'm an arachnid, an _arachnid_ , not an insect :(

.×××.

 **Fan**  
Wait a minute @ Spidey  
Who _are_ you?

> **Tony**  
No, asking is now illegal.

>> **Spidey** @ Tony  
It's alright

> **Spidey**   
If you ask like that, I can't just not tell you

> **Spidey**  
My name is Chakaoofka and my dad knows god


	39. How unfortunate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flash is targeted by a criminal and Peter has to save him. The problem is that he doesn't have his suit on, so he'll have to do the job as Peter Parker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: blood (gunshots, stab wounds)

Being Spider-Man meant saving everyone: strangers, friends, family. Bullies too.

Peter wasn't particularly fond of that last part, that was for sure, but that's only what he said when he wasn't actually in that situation.

You know how you complain about things without really meaning it? When you complain only because you know that your words don't affect your actions? That was what happened when Peter thought of the possibility of ever having to save Flash as his alter ego.

He remembered thinking "I'd probably leave him there for a bit, not letting him get mugged or punched, just let him feel fear so he understands he's human too."

But now the situation was actually happening, and nothing was how he had imagined. Flash was scared, but the criminal wasn't trying to steal from him nor punch him; he was holding a gun and had a knife in this belt.

Another thing that was different from what Peter had imagined was that he wasn't there as Spider-Man, rather as Peter and _with_ Flash (though the latter was clearly the target).

"Your parents will pay for what they did to me yesterday," the man growled in their direction. Yep, Flash was the target then.

Coming to a split-second decision, Peter stepped forward.

"My parents... are... dead..."

The man glared. "I wasn't talking to you, boy. Move out of the way or I'll shoot."

"Well, that's not very nice, Mr. Criminal," Peter said, letting his Spidey personality shine through.

The man, now dubbed Mr. Criminal, kept glaring. "Move."

"Nope."

Flash seemed panicked.

"I warned you."

The man shot Peter.

Flash screamed, Peter did not.

"Wow, Mr. Criminal, that's illegal," the boy said calmly with a raised eyebrow.

The adult holding the gun was unsurprisingly bewildered. Peter literally had a hole in his shoulder, bleeding hard, and yet he was still standing and annoying him.

"What the hell?" He shot again, this time in the leg, with the same results.

There were three seconds of silence in which Peter stared at the criminal.

"Auch?" Peter said, feeling kind of bad for the man.

"Peter!" Flash spluttered. "What-?"

"Meh, I'm fine."

The man came out of his shocked state and, now with a bit less confidence, said, "Not for long."

Peter sighed. "We've been over this," he started saying, only to be interrupted by the knife that was previously in the man's belt.

Because the man threw the knife.

Peter scowled and crossed his arms. "Rude."

"Parker!" Was all the bully said. He couldn't be blamed for that, though, considering the circumstances.

With the knife still protruding out of his gut, a gunshot in his shoulder and another in his leg, Peter turned to Flash and rolled his eyes.

The criminal took this as his opportunity to achieve what he was there for: he shot his gun in Flash's direction.

Without even turning, Peter raised his left hand to the exact place where the bullet would hit, successfully catching it.

Once again, the Spiderling faced the gunman. He wore a bored and an annoyed look in his eyes.

"I don't appreciate you leaving so many scars," Peter told him as he opened the hand he still held in the position he had caught the bullet, dropping it to the ground.

"You may act like it doesn't hurt, but you'll eventually have to give in," the man said angrily.

"No. I have the power of God and anime by my side."

During all this interaction, the criminal looked pissed and shocked, but it wasn't till that comment that he looked scared.

Terrified, actually.

Peter suddenly took out the knife from his gut and threw it back at the criminal, it dripping with blood.

"Yeet," Peter said simply.

The weapon was dangerously close to scraping the man's shoulder, but it didn't; it only pinned his shirt to the wall behind him, immobilizing him.

"Oh my fucking God, Peter!"

It was Flash.

Peter kinda forgot he was there when he decided to yank out a knife from his gut. Oops.

"You- you can't do this, boy!" the man said, struggling against the knife that had embedded itself in the wall up to the hilt.

"I think I just did." Peter turned to Flash. "Didn't I?"

The poor boy that had been the target was shaking from fear and anxiousness because _what the hell?_

The man finally freed himself from the wall by ripping apart the fabric of his shirt.

"You will pay."

"I'm broke."

The criminal yelled out in utter fury and panic.

_WhatTheHellWhatTheHellWhatTheHell_

"Your attitude will get you killed, boy," he threatened uselessly.

"Oh, Mr. Criminal, I sure hope it does."

The man was shaking with contained anger- or so Peter thought.

"You know, like the road. If it didn't work, I wouldn't be able to go through it and get wherever I need to be, which would be bad considering my presence in some places is crucial- literally. Has it ever happened to you, Mr. Criminal? Of course not the same as me, I'm unique, but, you know-"

"Stop. Please _stop._ I can't make the Thompsons pay for their actions if you keep this up," the criminal practically begged.

"Oh," Peter said, looking at the man dead in the eye. "You won't get to shoot an innocent minor. How unfortunate."

"No... this isn't about them anymore. Just leave, please, I'm literally begging you."

"No can do, Mr. Criminal, because I still haven't told you about that time when-"

The man run away screaming.

Annoy a criminal into madness? Check.


	40. Don't worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the encounter with the criminal, Peter insists he's fine. However, his bleeding shoulder, leg, gut and hand beg to differ, so Flash takes action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of How unfortunate! The tone of this one will be very different, though
> 
> Tw: blood (gunshots, stab wounds). Also abusive parents, but there are no descriptions of that, it's just hinted.

After the man run away screaming, as soon as he was out of sight, Peter turned to Flash.

"You're welcome, I guess." Peter shrugged and started to walk away. Someone suddenly grabbed him by the arm, preventing him from leaving.

"Oh, hell no. You're coming to a hospital with me. Right now."

"Uh... no."

"Wasn't a question," Flash countered as he carefully guided the injured teen to his car by the arm he still held.

"Flash, I'm serious. I can't go to the hospital." The genuine urgency he conveyed with his eyes made Flash hesitate for a second.

"What are you going to do about..." he gestured to the wounds, "that, then?"

Peter shrugged. "Wasn't planning to do anything, really. They'll heal. I can't go to my house yet, though. Aunt May will kill me if I go bleeding out again."

Anything else he would have said was cut by Flash pushing him inside his car carefully. Peter decided to trust his bully for the first time. He seemed really shaken and determined; Peter knew he didn't mean any harm now.

The drive was silent, Peter didn't ask where they were going and Flash didn't insist on him taking care of the stab wound and gunshots. 

They arrived pretty quickly to a big house, Peter guessed it was Flash's, but he wasn't really amazed by how fancy it was since he literally lived at Stark Tower half the time.

"You are going to sit down in my bed and try not to die, alright?" Flash said as they entered his room. The former bully went straight into his bathroom and came out a few seconds later with a first aid kit.

"But Flaaaash," Peter complained, dragging out the a. "I'm fine."

"No, you are not."

"But I am!"

"Shut it. You're bleeding because you decided to take the bullets and the knife for me." There was a short silence. "I still don't know why you did it," Flash admitted quietly.

"Flash, I'd take bullets for literally anyone. It's not the first time I've been shot, nor will this be the last one. I don't need medical attention because the bullets both went right through and I took out the knife with precision. My hand isn't even bleeding anymore from when I caught the bullet. I'm fine."

"Well, I beg to differ. And I will take care of you now, I won't let you bleed out." Peter sighed. He recognized a lost battle when he saw one.

Flash kept his word and tended Peter's wounds efficiently, yet in silence.

"How do you know how to stop an important amount of bleeding?" Peter suddenly asked, disrupting the quiet atmosphere.

Flash stopped bandaging Peter's shoulder for a second, then went back to it without answering. Peter took the clue.

After the owner of the house was done, he went to the bathroom to clean his hands from the blood and then came back to pick up the mess of bandages, the stuff he had used to disinfect the wounds and what he used to make the needed stitches. He worked without making a sound, like he was used to it being that way, and left no room for emotions now that he had calmed down.

"You didn't scream," Flash pointed out after some minutes of silence. It wasn't awkward, it just felt right not to say anything at all. Neither had known what to say, anyway.

"I didn't," Peter agreed. He elaborated when his former bully turned to face him with slight confusion. "I'm used to it. I developed a great pain tolerance."

Flash stared at the floor, though his eyes hinted he was too deep in thought, and regrets, to actually see anything.

"Is that why you let me... punch you all the time?"

"I can take it."

Neither of them said anything any further about it.

"Could I- Could I stay here for a couple more hours?" Peter asked hesitantly. “I’ll be completely fine by then.”

Flash was quick to agree, but he still had a question. "You are already healing. How?"

Peter’s eyes showed doubt, but he decided he could trust the boy that had tended his wounds and had also understood and respected his decision of keeping it on the down low.

“I… I have a genetically enhanced healing, along with… some other stuff.”

Flash was silent for a while longer before speaking again. “You’re Spider-Man, aren’t you?”

“I am,” Peter confirmed, but he wasn’t as nervous as he thought he would be. He felt he could trust Flash, he felt he wouldn’t betray him.

And, as months passed and a new friendship developed, he discovered he had been right.


	41. Criminal PPPS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few criminals notice Spidey's uncharacteristic lack of sass and instantly know something's wrong. They can't have it, so they team up to make him feel better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: armed robberies, threats and those kinds of stuff. And sad Spidey.  
> Inspired by the book “Peter Parker Oneshots” by @Peterparkeristonyson (chapter “What's Wrong, Spidey?”) on Wattpad

"I'm telling you, Spider-Man made no sassy remarks today," one of the people sitting at a table said.

"He didn't say anything at all to me," another one said.

"The same happened to me."

"Me too."

"Yeah, it was almost uncomfortable."

The street thugs sat in silence for some seconds.

"If Spidey's sad, we need to do something about it," one of them decided. "It's just not the same otherwise. His comments and his devotion are what makes it fun. We really need to do something."

With that, the men all picked up their stuff and headed outside to steal. This time, however, their goal was different than usual.

.×××.

"Give me all your money!"

"Not today, Hunter," Spider-Man said tiredly, webbing the man to the wall and allowing the victim to run away.

He turned to leave, but Hunter interrupted.

"Is everything alright, Spidey?"

Without looking backwards, instead at the floor, he replied curtly. "Yes."

.×××.

"If you scream, I'll shoot," the criminal threatened a woman.

"Nope, Riker," Spider-Man said from behind him, promptly webbing up the gun he held and then him.

Once again, the victim escaped, but Peter didn't manage to leave before being questioned once again.

"What happened? Are you okay?"

"Nothing, I'm fine."

.×××.

"Hand over your bag," the next criminal told a man passing by.

"Yeah, Wally, not happening."

Wally didn't even care about the man he had been trying to steal, immediately shifting his attention to the red-clad superhero.

"Why are you sad?"

"I- I'm not sad," Spidey said, though his voice betrayed his words. He sounded downhearted.

"You don't have to lie, we understand."

Spidey looked down. "I know."

.×××.

"Shut up," a man said randomly and showed a knife to a person speaking over the phone in the streets.

"No can do, Axel."

"Spidey!" Axel exclaimed, faking surprise.

"Yeah, you can stop acting." Spider-Man webbed up the man as he started to speak once again.

"If you need a break, I'll take care of calling off some criminals. The right people owe me the right favors."

The suit's eyes from the spiderling closed as he relaxed ever so slightly.

"I can't ask you that, but thank you anyway."

.×××.

"You will come with me silently," the next criminal told a teen, who began shrugging in indifference but was also interrupted by the arrival of the spider-themed superhero.

"Bernard, we've been over this already."

"But Spidey!" Bernard whined childishly, as if he wasn't speaking about kidnapping someone.

"Nope, not in my watch."

"Alright," the man agreed, though still reluctantly.

The teen stayed there, leaning against the wall like she was waiting patiently for the kidnapping to continue.

Bernard and Spider-Man both had to stare at her until she sighed and left, and only then did Bernard start his own motivational speech.

"It's fine to take a break when you need it. People will understand if you do. They have to."

"I can't do that to New York, Bernard, and you know that..." He hesitated for a few seconds. "But thank you."

.×××.

"Transfer fifty thousand dollars to this account right now or-"

"Owen Owens, leave that man alone."

"But my fifty thousand dollars!" the criminal pouted.

"Owen Owens. No."

"But-" Spidey put a hand on his hip. "Okay."

Owen Owens was no exception to the motivational thingy they had all going on, Spider-Man noticed as he opened his mouth once again. "Just wanted to tell you that I'll be off the streets for some time. I don't currently need anything. You won't have to worry about me stealing. You have my word."

"I appreciate that," Spidey said softly.

.×××.

The criminal didn't even get to open his mouth this time.

"Ravan, stop."

"Aw."

"Yeah, aw," Spider-Man mocked. 

"So, how come you were here even before I did anything?" Ravan asked with a small smirk.

"For starters, you all aren't being precisely subtle. And oh where would I find the only member left of the gang that has been trying to reach me all night? Could it be in Manhattan? Maybe Paris? My house? Definitely not the exact same place as always, that's for sure."

Ravan smiled genuinely.

Mission accomplished.


	42. Peter goes to Argentina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter accompanies the Avengers to their mission in Argentina, but he's just so confused about everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternative title: me teaching you facts about my country while making Peter confused by them because yes  
> Based entirely on real things that have been said to me.  
> Has a part 2 with an actual plot don't worry

He would never, ever, admit it, but he had begged.

He had dropped to his knees and pleaded.

He had even used his puppy eyes.

So it wasn't the Avengers' fault, not really, because what Peter had done was irresistible.

And that was the whole reason why they were all currently sitting inside one of Tony's private jets, on their way to Argentina for a mission in which Spider-Man was not needed.

"You can go," Tony had said, but hurried to add, "as long as you don't interfere with the mission or go out putting yourself in danger while we're gone."

Peter had pouted, but agreed anyway. "Spoilsport."

And now they were at the airport of Ezeiza, and Tony was regretting his decision, but they were already there, and no way in hell he'd send the hyper kid all by himself inside his jet in a ten-hour-long flight. Nope, that wasn't happening.

But-

"Hey, guys, look! I can see the obelisk from here!"

The billionaire sighed.

"Kid, the obelisk is about 25 miles away. That's not it."

"Oh."

Then they rented two fancy cars to fit them all and no, Peter, please drop the puppy, we're not taking it to the hotel.

Sigh.

"Mr. Stark, can we go to the Japanese Garden? Or China Town?"

"Kid, you came to _Argentina_ to see the _Japanese_ Garden and _China_ Town?"

Peter shrugged. "They say the Japanese Garden is pretty."

"No, Peter, we won't be going. Not all of us, at least. We're here for a mission, remember."

"And what about shopping malls? I heard that Abasto shopping and Unicenter are-"

"You'll be able to explore by yourself when we're gone; shoppings won't be a problem. When I said 'no danger' I meant not going out as Spider-Man, getting involved in the mission and other dumb stuff like that. Shoppings are fine."

"Yey!"

Soon enough, they reached the hotel they would be staying in: Sofitel, probably the most expensive hotel in Buenos Aires. A room for two was worth over $300 per night.

**(Quick A/N: 1 dollar here is equivalent to 80-130 pesos, which means that everything is extremely expensive for us but cheap for you)**

They settled in pretty quickly. It was 2 PM, so they decided to go out to explore and then have dinner out.

"Did you know that Argentina in 2001 had five presidents within a span of eleven days? Fernando de la Rúa, Adolfo Rodríguez Saá, Ramón Puerta, Eduardo Camaño and Eduardo Duhalde," Peter rambled excitedly.

As it was their first day, they decided to go to the very center of Buenos Aires, the obelisk, and see everything around it. If they had been in the country for a secret mission, they wouldn't have done these kinds of things, but they were there for an event everyone knew they were attending, and there they had the mission to collect certain information (that was the part no one knew, of course).

It was only a five-minute long ride, but Peter still managed to sprout out at least two hundred random facts about the country.

"And Buenos Aires is the capital, but did you know that during their Independence Day, the 9th of July, the capital changes? Only for that day, the province in which the independence was signed, Tucumán, is the capital of Argentina, though not many people know-"

"Okay, okay, we're here!" Tony said, and everyone in their car breathed a sigh of relief. They loved the kid, they did, but sometimes it was just too much.

"Why are there so many kids outside?" Peter asked in confusion.

"What do you mean?" Clint asked him.

"Shouldn't they be at school?"

"It's December," Tony pointed out.

"Precisely my point. We're still a week away from Christmas break."

Tony blinked. "Kid-"

"Pete, you do notice here it's almost summer already, don't you?" Steve said.

"Yes...?"

Everyone waited patiently for him to catch up.

"Wait, they're in summer break?!" he asked in shock, and got an affirmation in response. "Hold up, that means they have Christmas during summer?" His eyes were almost comically wide.

"Yes," was everything said by the billionaire.

"What. The. He-"

"Nope, nope nope nope," Steve interrupted.

After that, and before Peter could keep on asking questions, Tony dragged them all to see the places (some stores, theaters and so on) near them.

Around 5:30 PM, Tony announced to the very tired group,

"We will now have merienda." 

"Merienda?" Peter asked.

"Kid, you looked up one thousand and twenty three facts about Argentina and don't know about merienda?" Tony asked in disbelief.

"I'm sorry for existing," Peter deadpanned. "I blame my parents."

Tony facepalmed but explained nonetheless. "Merienda is their third meal of the day. It's basically the same as breakfast, but at the afternoon, at the time when we usually have dinner. Their dinner is usually after 10 PM."

Peter gasped. "10 PM?"

"Yes, Peter, 10 PM if not later."

The teen immediately took out his phone and started typing at lightning speed, gasping a few times in between.

"Ten is the average but the time in which they have dinner can extend up to 1 AM, Mr. Stark! 1 AM!"

Tony sighed again. "Yes, and we're going to live as Argentinians for these few days, so we'll have merienda now instead of dinner."

Peter was too interested to complain.

They all agreed to go to a Starbucks nearby.

"Buenos tardes," Peter said nervously. "Voy a necesitar cinco galletas de chocolate, cinco de vainilla..." he ordered. (Good evening, I'll need five chocolate cookies, five vanilla cookies...) 

The cashier finally looked up from the screen where she was inserting the couple hundred things Peter asked, and had to do a double take.

"Ustedes son los Vengadores," she stated in astonishment. "Mercedes, vení por favor." (You're the Avengers. Mercedes, come here please.)

Another woman, presumably Mercedes, came from where she was preparing an order.

"¿Qué pasa?" She stopped. "Ah, veo." (What? Oh, I see.)

They both tried to quickly tidy themselves up. They _were_ in front of the most powerful people alive.

"Su pedido va a estar listo en pocos minutos. Lo pueden retirar en aquél lado," she pointed to a stand where a man was giving people what they had ordered. "Espero que disfruten su estadía en Argentina." She smiled kindly. (Your order will be done in a few minutes. You can pick it up on that side. I hope you enjoy your time in Argentina.)

Mercedes nodded at them and hurried to prepare their order.

"Gracias," Peter said brightly, along with some other Avengers who knew at least a bit of the language. (Thank you.)

They soon had all they had asked for and were sitting in a table, enjoying their meal. 

"Hey, Mr. Stark, there are dulce de leche cookies!"

"And muffins," Steve added.

"There's a store beside that sells churros with dulce the leche," this time it was Natasha.

"And tarts," Clint said.

"And also cakes," that one was Tony's contribution.

"And another one sells dulce de leche ice cream," Bruce added.

"And dulce de leche Pop Tarts!" Thor said excitedly.

"At the north, there are even dulce de leche empanadas, kid, _empanadas_."

Peter blinked.

"Why does everything have dulce de leche?"

Tony shrugged. "If only I knew."


	43. "I told you not to get in trouble"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony told Peter not to get in trouble. Peter got in trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of Peter goes to Argentina

The one thing Tony had asked Peter. The _one_ thing.

But no, Peter just had to go and get himself kidnapped during the night of the mission.

"Se te vio muy... unido con los Vengadores," the kidnapper said with a little smirk. (You seemed very... close to the Avengers) 

"Uhh, ¿no los conozco?" Peter replied in a useless attemp to refuse the allegation.(Uhh, I don't know them?)

"Sí, claro, y ahora me vas a decir que sos de acá." (Yeah, sure, and now you'll tell me you're from here.)

"¡Pero sí soy de aquí!" (But I _am_ from here!)

The kidnapper narrowed his eyes. "A true Argentinian wouldn't say 'aquí'."

Peter scowled, cursing the hundred variations of the language.

"Yeah, okay, you caught me. I'm American. But I still don't know the Avengers."

Experimentally, Peter started fighting against the ropes tying his legs and his hands behind the chair he was seated in. He found they were weak, so it would be very easy to break out of them.

The kidnapper suddenly threw pictures on top of the table that separated them. They were from the previous day, when they were in Starbucks.

"Wanna try again?" The man asked.

Peter closed his eyes.

"We were discussing dulce de leche, _dulce de leche,_ why did someone have to go and take pictures?"

"You were discussing dulce de leche?" The kidnapper asked in confusion.

"Yeah, like, why does everything have dulce de leche here?"

"Have you _tried_ it?"

"Uh, no, but it sure can't be that good-" Peter was interrupted by the kidnapper's concerned and quite offended face.

He stood up and left.

Peter stared at the door, too confused to try to escape.

The man came back one minute later, with a big pot and a spoon in his hands.

"Here."

Peter stared blankly at him.

"Oh, sorry," the criminal apologized, remembering the fact that he had tied his hands.

The man then proceeded to spoon-feed Peter the Argentinian ambrosia.

As soon as the boy felt the taste of it, his eyes widened and he hurried to eat the rest there was in the spoon.

"More! More!" Peter begged. The man shrugged and continued to feed the baby spider. Then he took out another spoon and started eating some himself.

"Now you understand why everything has dulce de leche?"

"Oh, I do. It should be way more exported than it is, I can't even remember if I ever saw anything with dulce de leche in New York apart from ice-cream."

"You poor little thing," the man shook his head sadly, pity in his eyes.

"Do you know where I can buy some more before going back, uh-" Peter started asking only to realize he didn't know the name of the man.

"Martín," he completed.

"Oh, okay. I'm Peter, by the way."

Martín nodded to show understanding and then replied the previous question. "You can buy it anywhere, really. Every kiosk and supermarket sells it. Thre will always be some."

"Thank you, Martín!" Peter said brightly.

At some point, Martín had handed Peter his spoon and now they were both eating by themselves, still from the same pot.

"But have you tried the ice-cream flavor in New York, at least?" Martín asked Peter, who shook his head.

"I mainly stick to chocolate, so no."

"Chocolate? What about vanilla?"

Peter scrunched his nose. "I don't really like it."

Martín was taken aback. "But just vanilla ice-cream, right? You like vanilla cookies, right?"

The spiderling seemed offended. "Of course! What kind of monster do you think I am?"

"It's fine, then." Martín relaxed in his chair, taking a spoonful of dulce de leche to his mouth.

The wall of the room they were in was all of a sudden destroyed and in came the Avengers in their party clothes, ready to fight.

"Hi, Mr. Stark!" Peter greeted happily, sitting in a chair with his feet tied to it and a broken rope behind it, eating dulce de leche and chatting with his kidnapper.

"I swear you're going to be the death of me."

Martín blinked a couple of times in shock and confusion.

"Uh- yeah, all this was obviously part of my evil plan, which I totally didn't forget about- Uh- Mwahaha?"


	44. Soulmate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter finds his (platonic) soulmate when he goes on a field trip to Stark Tower. Who could it be???? It'll be a surprise for sure!!1!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are platonic soulmates so please don't kill me  
> Thank you  
> TW: anxiety attack.

Peter was anxious. Why? The reason was simple: the twenty-four-hour timer in his wrist had started counting down the previous day. There was only an hour left now.

He was anxious because the timer indicated how much time was left until he met his soulmate.

"I can do this, I can do this," Peter told himself, but then he glanced up towards Stark Tower, the destination of his class' field trip. "Nope, nope, nope."

"Calm down, Peter, it'll be alright. You're soulmates for a reason," Ned tried uselessly.

"Yeah, but who are they? Will they be here in a tour as well? Do they work here?" Peter panicked.

Ned only sighed and smiled at his best friend, shaking his head a little.

The beginning of the tour went smoothly, but Peter was too nervous to care (or notice, for that matter).

But then the group went into a lab, and there was an explosion. You can blame Flash.

Fortunately, no one was hurt, but there was some property damage that had to be taken care of.

Peter's timer reached zero just as his eyes fell on Tony Stark.

Well, damn. That was unexpected.

Both of their wrists felt warm, and Peter took it to his chest on instinct, grabbing it with his other arm. This action attracted the attention of the billionaire.

Peter's eyes were understandably wide, but so were Tony's. The older one approached the other hesitantly, almost forgetting the whole explosion ordeal.

"Hey, kid," he said simply, still in a kind of shock.

"Hi, Mr. Stark," Peter squeaked out.

"What's your name?" he asked, eyeing the boy's wrist curiously and noting the timer that was slowly fading.

"I'm Peter, Peter Parker, sir." Peter shuffled his feet nervously.

Because what the hell?

"Alright, Peter, it looks like you're my soulmate." Tony smiled. Peter, however, didn't see that.

"I- uh- I'm sorry," he said. "I know you probably expected more and not just a kid from Queens-" Peter started breathing heavily.

"Hey, hey, Peter," Tony was fast to realize what was going on. "It's fine, kid, you're fine," he assured.

"I- I'm sorry-"

Peter didn't know when, but he had started crying. He couldn't breathe, he was shaking, his senses were going haywire.

Tony Stark's soulmate should be a beautiful person, intelligent, kind. But it was him, it was just Peter Parker, and he couldn't believe a person like Tony was condemned to be his soulmate. He didn't deserve that. Peter didn't deserve Tony.

"-id, kid, please breathe with me," Tony was saying. Peter hadn't realized, but they were now in a quieter place, and they were alone. This helped calm down Peter's senses, and his breathing slowly came back to normal with Tony's help.

A while passed before Peter was well enough to actually speak.

"I'm really sorry," was all he said.

"You don't have to be, Peter. Your reaction was completely understandable, there's nothing wrong with it. I can always take care of you, I understand."

"Not- not about that. About the fact that you're stuck with me as your soulmate." Peter looked down. Tony grabbed the kid's shoulder.

"Hey, look at me." Quite reluctantly, Peter raised his head. "Soulmate marks don't lie. If you're my soulmate, then it's for a reason."

Peter's posture relaxed a bit. Maybe Tony was right. "Okay."

"Now, let's get this out of the way, although it's obvious: we're platonic soulmates, not romantic soulmates," Tony said.

Peter looked at the billionaire in amusement. "Oh no, what will I do with my undying love for you, then?" he asked dramatically.

Tony snorted. "Yeah, I can see why we're soulmates," he said with a small smile. "And don't worry about the tour, everything's settled so you can stay here. I already spoke with your guardian and with your teachers. If you want, I can give you a tour myself."

Peter smiled. "I'd like that." He paused. "But first let's solve that equation in your board. The fact that it's unsolved is gonna drive me insane, I swear."

Tony smiled, too. "Yep, no wonder we're soulmates."


	45. Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter decides to go to a Halloween party dressed as Spider-Man. With the real suit. And to show tricks. But everyone is a complete idiot.

"It'll be fun!" Tony had said.

"Please, do it for me!" Ned had said.

"Don't, loser," MJ had said.

So there Peter was, in a Halloween party. Now, that doesn't seem like much, but the fact is that Peter hates parties, they're hell for his senses.

And he had his Spider-Man suit on. Without his mask.

But Relax! Halloween costumes and all! There was no problem with that!

Peter sighed. He was rethinking all his life choices.

"Come on, Peter!" Ned told him. "Let's dance!"

The spiderling sighed once again, but he reminded himself he had to put on his Spider-Man persona.

He smiled, "Aw, Ned, I didn't know you thought about me like that!"

Ned blushed. "Shut up."

"I love you too!" Peter laughed.

And so they headed to the dance floor, where people with all kinds of costumes where dancing. On their way, quite a few girls and boys touched Peter's arms, as the suit was showing off all his muscles. Still in character, Peter winked at all of them with an amused smile.

"Hey, Parker, nice suit!" someone yelled over the music. A couple whistles were heard.

"And tight..." someone else added.

"Of course it's tight; I catch criminals by blinding them with my muscles. How else am I supposed to do it?"

People laughed.

"Yo, Peter! Can you do a flip?"

Peter turned to the person who said it with a neutral face. People started getting disappointed, but Peter unexpectedly jumped and did a perfect backflip, landing in his personal superhero pose in the space other people had given him.

Standing up, still with a neutral face, Peter stared at the guy who asked.

The room was silent. Peter stared blankly.

And the room broke into cheers, at the same time as Peter's face switched into a big, amused smile, rapidly turning into laughter and joining the rest of the people at the party.

Maybe it wasn't so bad after all.

"Nice ass!"

Nope, he still hated it.

"Parker, can you stick to the ceiling?"

Peter raised an eyebrow, jumped five meters up, and sticked to the ceiling as requested.

People gaped at him.

"Oh my god!"

"That- that's-"

"That fake suit is awesome!" Someone shouted. Everyone started cheering again.

Closing his eyes, Peter dropped to the floor, once again landing in his superhero pose almost unconsciously and visibly naturally.

"Glad you're enjoying the show!" he told everyone. "But now I gotta bounce. There are mean criminals and lost old ladies in the street who need my help. See ya." Peter turned to leave, but some people held him back.

"No, not yet!" Soon, they were all chanting in unison for him to stay.

"Alright, alright! If you all love me so much, I can stay!" He smiled, though he was tired.

People kept on laughing happily.

"Wow, Peter, you've got Spidey's personality down!"

"Yeah, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were actually Spider-Man!"

Idiots. They were all idiots.


	46. Online class

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Midtown students have to take online classes because of quarantine, but Peter's home is...  
> disrupting the class. Just a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the book "Peter parker and the Avengers [Oneshots]" by Rese_official (chapter "Peter's online class disaster") on Wattpad

Online classes. They meant not going to school, nor having to interact with people. They meant doing things at your own pace, calmly. They also meant relative peace.

Right?

Wrong. For Peter Parker (or Stark, now) online classes meant hell.

•×××•

"Hi, Mr. Harrington!" Peter said happily to the man through the screen as he sat in his room.

"Hi, Peter," the teacher replied. "Okay, now that everyone's here, we can begin the class."

The first ten minutes went by quite well, giving Peter the false impression that maybe things wouldn't be so bad after all.

'One would think that Parker Luck™ would fade away once I became a Stark,' Peter thought bitterly as Natasha unknowingly opened his bedroom door and asked him if he felt like training.

"Not right now, мама паук," he said while looking at the floor. His teacher had stopped talking once he realized the whole class was gaping at Peter's image rather than listening. Mr. Harrington, too, stared in bewilderment for some seconds before regaining his composure.

"I'm sorry for the disruption, Mr. Harrington," Peter apologized awkwardly as Natasha closed the door, not before kissing his forehead.

"Was that the Black Widow?!" Sally asked.

"What. The. Heck." That was Abe.

"Where are you, Peter?!" Cindy was shooketh.

"I- Uhhh-"

"That's enough," the teacher intervened. "Now, let's continue with the class." Peter mentally thanked the man and every god in existence. Especially his Uncle Thor and Loki.

Everything was alright for a couple of minutes, but Peter may have prayed a little too much.

"Peter, you called? Is everything alright?" Loki said from the doorway. Peter covered his face with his hands as he took a deep breath.

"Yeah, Uncle Loki."

The god raised an eyebrow. "I'm the god of lies for a reason, child."

"We'll talk about this later, Uncle Loki." Hesitantly, in suspicion, the god agreed and left.

"What?" Betty asked.

"What?" Cindy asked.

"What?" Charles asked.

"What?" Abe asked.

"Wha-"

"Continuing with the class," Mr. Harrington interrupted, "we will now start the next topic." Tiredly, Peter nodded.

The following fifteen minutes were fairly peaceful. If Sam, Clint and Bucky stealthily entered his room and hid there, Peter ignored it (unlike his shocked class).

Then Wanda barged into the room.

"Where are those idiots?!" she asked angrily, red magic swirling around her.

"Wanda, I love you, but this is not the time." The witch's expression softened slightly as she gazed over the teen she saw as a little brother.

"Just tell me where they are, please."

Peter sighed. "Check under my bed for Sam, the closet for Bucky and the curtains for Clint."

Wanda smiled widely as she willed her magic to bring the men from their now revealed hiding spots. "Thank you, Pete." She ruffled his hair and turned to walk out the door, with three screaming Avengers floating behind her.

Peter knew that his classmates would go insane if he didn't stop them, so he hurried to apologize. "I'm really sorry, Mr. Harrington. Can we continue now?"

"Oh, no, Peter. You're not getting out of this one," Flash said. "Just where are you?"

"Home."

"Enough. The lesson has to go on."

And so it did. The lesson went on, but the students' attention had long since strayed to the resident nerd's part of the screen, hoping excitedly for something else to happen. Many were in shock, though, and could be seen with dishinged jaws and wide eyes. The screaming guys, gals and nonbinary pals had been fortunately muted by the teacher a great while ago.

Soon enough, the students' wish came true, as Bruce Banner came into the room while rubbing his eyes.

"Peter, your dad is asking for you at your lab. Something about improving the team's weapons and suits?"

"Oh, please tell him I'll be there in an hour. And get some sleep, Uncle Bruce; you need it."

"Yeah, yeah. Sure." And just like that, he left.

The online class was silent. After all, they hadn't just seen the most renowned scientist alive and occasional green rage monster come into their classmate's bedroom.

Oh, wait, they had. And they were not silent at all.

"WHAT. THE. HELL."

"HOLY COW."

"I AM CONFUSION."

"FKLDLLSKFKKFJFKLGLDL."

"STOP IT!" It was the teacher, and he was completely done with the situation, just as Peter was. He had to mute everyone before speaking once again. "I don't know what Mr. Parker's situation is, but I know that if there existed measures to avoid it, he would have taken them. We will have to ignore everything else going on in the video call that doesn't regard the lesson, as one of the many challenges of online classes. Aaaaand I lost them again." Mr. Harrington sighed as he saw all the muted students freak out over a new occurrence in Peter's room.

This time, that happened to be a red person/robot thingy literally phasing through the wall of the room.

The red person said something that made Peter stand up quickly, but they couldn't hear anything. Vision- as now everyone recognized him- pointed at the door just as it opened and in came two people fighting.

Two people who just happened to be Tony Stark and Steve Rogers.

Peter started gesturing wildly, trying to break their angry banter, and completely ignoring the class that was still watching him in astonished amazement.

At some point, Vision had slowly backed away and phased out of the room, leaving the pair of superheroes and the teenager on their own.

Peter suddenly grabbed his hair and left the room in obvious frustration, being quickly followed by Tony while Steve stayed behind and watched them leave with slumped shoulders.

The man's enhanced hearing picked up the voice of the teacher coming out of the earbuds, telling them that class was over due to their behavior. Steve turned around only to find multiple screaming teenagers in a screen. He approached it in confusion, eyeing it warily, and started pressing random buttons to turn it off.

The last thing the chemistry students saw in Peter Parker's part of the screen was Captain America's dewlap, then the call was cut off.

One thought remained in all their minds: _what the flying fuck?_


	47. Phone call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter receives a phone call during class. You know, the usual.   
> A summary: Peter hates life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this only so I could get something published until I finished writing another one shot so it's pretty short and basic, but I don't think it's that bad anyway

Peter hated life.

He had said it a million times, and he'd keep saying it. How could he not, when things like this kept happening to him?

"Answer on speaker, Mr. Parker," the teacher said, bringing Peter out of his hopeless thoughts.

With shaky hands and a look of utter misery, Peter took his phone out of his backpack and, after a small pause in hopes that the floor would open up and swallow him whole, with no luck, he answered the phone.

"Peter, we need you for a mission right now-"

Peter hated life.

"Fury-" 

"You have to be here in 5. It's urgent-"

Peter hated life.

"Fury-" 

"There are aliens-"

Peter hated life.

"Fury-"

"The Avengers are all here already, you're the only one missing of the team-"

Peter gave up on life.

"UNCLE FURY!" The man on the other side of the line finally shut up in surprise at the teen's tone. "You're on speaker."

"Why the Hell am I on speaker?" the confused man asked.

"I'm in class, it's the rule." Peter really couldn't believe what was happening. He wanted to curse the fates and then die.

"That's illegal. I'll see it's taken care of-"

"Anyway," Peter cut him off. "I won't be going."

"What? Why?!"

"I have... class..."

Silence. The line went dead.

Peter's head hit the desk in front of him.

He hated life so damn much.

After a minute of moping, Peter raised his head and looked around to his classmates. Some of them looked confused, some others looked shocked, some others looked suspicious, a few looked like they had come to an enlightening realization. 

The teacher simply looked lost. "I- I hope that serves you all as proof on why you should keep your phone in silence during class," she said finally after a few seconds of opening and closing her mouth like a fish.

To his classmates further confusion, Peter stood up, ignoring the teacher's protests. Slowly, dejectedly, he approached the window. Then they all heard it: the sound of thrusters.

"Bye, Mrs. Warren. Bye, all of you. Bye, life."

Then Iron Man broke the window, grabbed Peter and flew out as Peter's nanotech suit started expanding from his watch. 

The last thing the class saw was Peter's miserable face being covered by his Spider-Man suit, then he was out of sight.


	48. Real internship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter gets an internship at Stark Industries, but he sucks at hiding his secret identity. Like, really, really sucks at it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mention of rape. There are no descriptions of it, though.

When he took that test, he didn't expect to pass. It was unimaginable.

After all, how would Peter Parker pass a test made by Stark Industries? It made no sense.

It was optional, just an old test model for an internship at SI to show students his age how a real test looks like. No one knew SI actually checked the results of those tests they lent the school. No one would have guessed, and certainly not Peter.

You can imagine his surprise, then, when he got an email from the billion-dollar-enterprise saying he had excelled in the test and therefore had been granted an internship.

.×××.

"Hurry up or you'll be late!" Aunt May urged Peter, who was eating breakfast.

"Yeah, yeah, okay!" Peter stood up, with a piece of bread still in his mouth. He quickly grabbed his backpack as he finished his food, kissing his aunt's cheek and leaving before he was late to his first day at the internship.

It was actually pretty early; it was 7 AM and the internship didn't start until 9 AM, but May didn't know that. So, as soon as he was approximately a mile away from his house, Peter went inside an alley and changed into his suit. He planned on making an early patrol and swing to the tower, and that's exactly what he did. With a lot of extra measures, Peter made sure he wouldn't get injured nor be late, all thanks to Karen, the AI he had created.

"Hi, sir, I'm here for the internship program," Peter said to the man at the lobby. The worker frowned slightly, looking at the teen in confusion.

"Sure, just show me your ID and the email sent by SI so I can scan the code in it and print you a badge."

Peter took out his phone and showed the man what he had requested, seeing a look of shock take over his face.

"Is anything wrong, sir?" Peter asked in concern.

"No, not at all, Mr. Parker. It's just the first time I've seen a high school student get an internship here. You must be exceptionally gifted," the man explained. Peter's eyebrows had shot up, and he was now opening and closing his mouth in hopes of getting his vocal cords to work, but he wasn't succeeding. The man simply smiled at him and indicated him where to go and who to talk to.

"Thank you, sir," Peter told the man before leaving to do as told.

The teen went through security and headed to the elevator. He took some deep breaths to try to calm himself down. "It's alright, it's alright. You're just the only high school student to ever be accepted. No pressure."

The elevator doors opened, three busy workers coming out of it without sparing him a second glance. Peter hurried to get inside, being followed by five other people.

"I'm telling you, if we do what you say, it will stop working," a very stressed man was telling a very stressed woman.

"No, the effects will be countered! I have a whole board with calculations that prove it." The woman ran a hand through her hair in frustration.

Peter watched with curiosity as the pair fought, eyeing the Stark Tablet in the man's hands and recognizing what he saw.

"You're trying to make a... machine that peals bananas and makes you a smoothie?" Peter asked in confusion, making both of the inventors' attention snap to him.

The man narrowed his eyes. "Yes. You are?"

**(Just a warning: I have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about)**

But Peter was far too concentrated on what he was seeing to actually hear her question. "Considering everything you already put in it, I'd say it wouldn't work unless you neutralize the reaction of these two materials when exposed to the temperature it's going to reach. Adding a good refrigerating system should be enough, but it'd have to be a good one since, by my calculations, it would reach a temperature of... 105°F. That also means you'll need to add a stronger battery to ensure there'll be enough energy to power everything." At this point, Peter was talking mostly to himself, too deep in thought to realize the five people in the elevator had turned to stare at him, no matter how busy they had seemed just a couple of minutes ago.

There was a silence that stretched for ten straight seconds, just enough for Peter to realize what he had just done and start feeling embarrassed for interfering in something that didn't concern him before he even reached his floor.

The silence was broken by the woman, who turned to the man and said, "I told you we needed a refrigerating system! The calculations I made in my board said the temperature would reach 105°F!"

"But you didn't say anything about the battery, so it wouldn't have worked!" the man said in return.

Another woman in the elevator shut them up. "Are you just going to ignore that this random teen just solved the problem you've been fighting about for a week now? And the fact that he did it mentally?"

The pair blinked. Peter sunk back into the corner.

"Oh, you're right," the man said with surprise, expressing both his and the woman's thoughts.

"Anyway, who are you?" the woman who separated the pair asked Peter, who nervously fidgeted before responding.

"I'm Peter Parker, ma'am. I'm here for the internship program." He turned away from her before noticing the look of shock crossing her features. "And sorry about commenting about your work, I shouldn't have interfered." Peter looked down.

"Are you serious?" The doors of the elevator opened in Peter's floor, which also seemed to be the floor where the fighting pair was headed to. The woman grabbed him by the wrist and yanked him out of the elevator. "You're coming with me."

"No, please, ma'am! I'm sorry!" He said in fear. "Oh my God, I haven't even started and I'm already going to be thrown out," Peter thought out loud. 

The woman stopped dragging the teen and looked at him in the eye. "Relax, you oblivious genius." The man chuckled. Peter was just confused.

"Lyla! Hey, Lyla, I bring you a prodigy," she said to a woman as she pushed Peter forward, making his stumble a bit out of surprise.

The spiderling could only look back and forth between the pair and this woman named Lyla as they explained to her everything that had happened, giving him way too much credit.

"It wasn't that much, really," Peter tried to say, but it fell to deaf ears. Patiently and quietly, he waited for them to finish their conversation.

"That's impressive, Mr. Parker," Lyla praised him once the pair finished their explanation.

"Seriously, I just stated the obvious, I shouldn't have interfered with other people's work, I'm sorry."

Lyla raised a brow. "We've got ourselves a modest genius. We were lacking one of those." The people who had turned to listen let out offended noises.

"It's not my fault I can see I'm awesome," one complained.

"Shut up, Leonard," the man said. "We all know I'm much better than you."

Leonard snorted. "You wish, Hartley."

"Come on boys, we all know I'm the best out of all of you," the woman said. Seconds later, the whole floor was fighting over their own awesomeness, screaming and throwing papers left and right.

Lyla approached Peter in a resigned silence. "That's what I'm talking about." She sighed. "Anyway, come with me." She led him to a secluded office and closed the door, relief showing in both of their faces once the noise became muffled.

"The receptionist in the lobby told me I needed to talk to you so we could arrange my schedule and working place," Peter said nervously as Lyla sat at her desk.

"Yeah, you'll just come here half an hour after school and stay two or three hours, more if you're needed for anything in particular..." She explained to him all the system and then started telling him how they would be working the first days. "Today it's Saturday, but you won't be coming during weekends until you are more advanced. Considering what you achieved a minute after stepping into the tower, that won't be long. Anyway, today you'll have to stay here all day so you get used to the place and we show you have things work here." Peter nodded and thanked her, though he was internally worried.

He had to stay all day? But he had only patrolled for a couple of hours, he couldn't leave the city unattended for a whole day!

Following his boss' instructions, he headed out of her office and chose a desk to work in. It wasn't a coincidence that the desk he chose was beside a window.

.×××.

Peter had been helping around for a couple of hours now, not starting any project of his own, just practicing his magic and solving everybody's problems.

Then he got a notification in his phone, an alert from Karen, and he told the people he was working with that he had to go to his desk for a bit. He'd be damned before being aware of a bank robbery nearby and doing nothing about it.

Being as stealthy as his body allowed him to (which was very stealthy because of his spider powers), Peter jumped out to the other side of the window and put on his mask once he was sure he couldn't be seen by anyone, neither form the inside nor from the outside.

Stopping the robbery and webbing up the criminals was a quick job, nothing to worry about for Spider-Man, so he was done in a few minutes. He had to go back before anyone noticed his absence.

Silently and slowly, Peter was able to climb inside through the same window he had left from. He looked around nervously, making sure no one had seen anything, and his tense shoulders visibly relaxed once he saw all the crazy interns were still screaming at one another and not paying any attention to him.

Fixing his hair, Peter went back to work.

.×××.

The next time it happened, it was a vocal alert. Karen only said Peter’s name with urgency, not revealing any information, but it was enough for him to understand he had to go, and fast.

"Hey, what was that?" Hartley asked him when he was broken out of his concentration by Karen's voice.

Peter, already ordering everything he had been using, answered, "My AI."

"What?" A nearby intern asked in shock. "You made it?"

" _Her_. I made _her_." Without turning around again, Peter started leaving towards his desk once again. "Sorry, Leonard, I'll help you finish it later, I have to take care of something urgent. Sorry."

No one thought much of it, leaving him do whatever he needed to do and trusting he would be back soon.

Repeating the process he had done before, Peter left through the window to save a girl from being raped.

It was quick, too; it had to be. No sassy remarks were done, the man didn't deserve them, and Peter didn't leave the girl's side until he knew she was safe at home. The rapist hadn't been happy about it, though, so as soon as Spider-Man had turned around to check on the girl, he had struggled against the webs that held him and managed to get a dagger out. The weapon embedded itself in the hero's shoulder, but he didn't pay it any mind, still making sure the girl was alright.

Peter was intelligent enough to take out the dagger from the back of his shoulder and bandage the wound before going back to SI, but he couldn't risk his identity nor his internship by getting medical attention, so he didn't.

.×××.

The next alert he got happened at a very convenient moment.

"So, if we put it here, it should start- OH MY GOD PETER YOU'RE BLEEDING!"

Peter's head snapped up towards the person who had spoken. He muttered "shit" before frowning and playing dumb.

"Am I?"

"Yes, you are!" another intern shouted in concern. Looks like they had attracted unwanted attention.

"It must be nothing," Petr dismissed their panic, playing it cool. He almost didn't feel the dagger wound anymore; it was no big deal.

"It's not nothing!" 

"You should get help!"

"Lyla, come here right now and get this child to the infirmary!"

Everyone was screaming again, Peter's head was spinning, he got an alert.

"I'll just go to the toilet," Peter said as he picked up his backpack from the floor and headed towards the place he said he’d go. People backed away, thinking he was going to take care of whatever wound he had in his back, but Peter had other plans.

Like jumping out the hallway's window, for instance.

.×××.

Turns out the alert was about a giant telepathic gorilla trying to destroy the city. It took around twenty minutes, but Peter finally took him down.

He was sweaty and a bit bloodier than expected, but he still had to go back to the internship. So he did, going in through the window by his desk and sitting back in his chair as soon as he was inside.

"Success," he muttered while he covered his face in tiredness, only to move his hands and find himself the center of the attention of many open-mouthed geniuses. "Shit."

("Rebecca, it's not what you think!" Peter told an intern in a desperate attempt to make his secret identity remain secret.

"I won't hesitate, bitch!" Rebecca said in return, taking out a water gun and firing it at Peter’s face.)


	49. Where's Peter?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now everyone in their floor knows Peter's secret identity, but Rebecca also sucks at hiding it. So, naturally, Tony Stark finds out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of Real Internship!

"Word has gotten around that there's a new super genius in the building," Tony commented to Pepper in hopes of getting more information.

Pepper hummed in response, confirming the rumor.

Tony waited patiently for her to speak, but she didn't say anything else about it. The billionaire rose a brow in question, prompting her to tell him about it.

"Since when are you interested on the interns?" Pepper asked in confusion.

"Since the head scientist told me he's like a smaller version of me."

"A 12% smaller?" she asked, making Tony sigh.

"I thought we were over this already."

"We're never going to be over this." The billionaire glared halfheartedly at her, making her smile.

"So, about this intern?" Tony pushed, finally getting the CEO to speak.

"His name is Peter Parker."

.×××.

"But I just don't get why you didn't leave and enter through the hallway's windows and not the one beside your desk that is literally in front of everyone," one of the interns told Peter in amusement as they worked together in his web shooters.

"Oh, shut up, Caty. Try to think straight after taking down a telepathic gorilla, I dare you," Peter said, but he was smiling. He was glad he could now talk openly about his alter ego and have help with the tech.

Caty raised her hands in a "I'm innocent" fashion, making Peter laugh.

"I almost have the new web formula for you, Peter!" Rebecca said from the other side of the room. Peter flashed her a grateful smile and a thumbs up.

.×××.

"People speak of this Peter as if he were at my level," Tony commented.

"Who knows? He might be," Pepper said in response.

"I mean, it makes sense or he wouldn't be an intern here at fifteen. It's still strange, how they call him a mini me so much I mean. We have dozens of geniuses working here, that's what we do, but all the scientists were very specific at saying he was a mini _me_."

"I sure hope he doesn't share some of your habits, though, like not sleeping, living off caffeine and having a guilt complex bigger than your ego."

"Hey!" Tony frowned at her, but a small smile tugged at his lips, betraying his complaint.

.×××.

"Hey, Peter," an intern said as he approached them. "I was wondering if you could help me with a little project of mine?"

Immediately leaving what he was doing, Peter agreed. "Sure, Julian."

They worked in harmony, quickly getting everything done, and then Julian started telling him about new ideas he had had to improve the suit's mask. Peter listened to the genius in fascination, making some additions of his own in between. As soon as their brainstorming session had finished, they dived into work to give their ideas a physical form.

"Almost there, Peter!" Rebecca said in regard of the web formula she was currently working on. Peter smiled at her, and that's when he got an alert by Karen.

Frowning in worry, Peter put on his suit as fast as possible and left through the window, not before alerting everyone who worked in his floor at SI.

How unconvenient was it that the elevator doors opened just a minute after that, and out came Tony Stark?

.×××.

"I think it's nice of you to visit the interns," Pepper commented as she and Tony entered the elevator.

"If there's a mini Tony Stark running around in the tower, I want to meet him, see his real potential," Tony replied as he checked his Stark Tablet. "He should be in floor 45 right now so... Friday?" The AI didn't answer and simply took her boss where he had asked.

"Don't be too hard on him. He's just a teen, he still has a lot of time to learn," Pepper reminded him as the elevator doors opened. With a nod, Tony was gone.

.×××.

Tony strode into the room with a barely concealed look of wonder and curiosity in his face.

"Hey. Lyla, right?" he asked the woman, who nodded in confirmation.

"Lyla Michaels, sir. Is there any way I can be of assistance?"

"There is, actually. Where can I find Peter Parker?"

The woman hesitated for half a second, and Tony had to recognize she was good at hiding it, but he had seen it.

"He's... not currently available, Mr. Stark."

"What do you mean?" the billionaire asked her.

"He's busy. A prodigy such as himself has no time to spare in this kind of places." She was sweating.

Tony rose his brows slightly. "And can I see him work, at least?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Stark, but that's not possible right now," Lyla said queasily. She really wanted to help her little friend in his superhero business, he deserved it to say the least, but it was difficult when she had such a powerful person in front of her.

"Just where is Peter?"

There was a short, tense silence, but it didn't last long.

"Yes! I figured out the new web formula for Peter!"

Everyone in the floor, except for a very lost Tony, turned to the oblivious person who spoke. "Rebecca, _shut up_."

Deafening silence.

The interns and scientist face-palmed. Lyla sighed in defeat. Rebecca grimaced in realization of what she had done. Tony looked around in search of answers.

"Would someone be kind enough to explain what the hell is going on?" Tony demanded.

More silence.

And then, just his luck, Peter climbed through the window. Or, more specifically, he swung through it.

"That was one mean thief," Peter said resentfully as he took off his mask and started touching his wrists, still not looking up. "I'll have to fix my web shooters. Imagine I'm saying some really complex scientific/mechanical stuff because the author can't write about it to save her life."

Tony gaped. Peter finally looked up.

"Well, shit."  
  
  
  


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**(I was really tempted to leave it there but you all would have gutted me alive)**

Without a word, Tony grabbed Peter's wrist and pulled him inside the elevator. (Really, why did people keep doing that to him?)

Peter could only blink in confusion and astonishment as his idol, who just happened to be Iron Man, a billionaire, a _genius_ (and also the boss of his boss of his boss of his boss... But he wouldn't think about that just yet) dragged him to a lab once they reached the destiny floor.

Tony walked around the lab for some seconds, as if looking for something, before heading to the coffee machine in the room. That's when Peter took in his surroundings and realized all the advanced, million-dollar stuff laying around.

"I- Is this your personal lab?" Peter asked in confusion. Then he realized he was being rude and had to refrain from slapping himself. "Oh, I'm so sorry. Hello, sir, I'm Peter Parker. It's a real pleasure to meet you!"

Tony looked at the doe-eyed genius in front of him. "Hi, Peter. Or should I say Spider-Man?"

How could that innocent little child be the web slinger superhero that risked his life on the daily?

Peter shuffled his feet. "You can call me whatever feels better for you, Mr. Stark." He paused. "I'm really sorry I was not working when I was supposed to, but there was a robbery right down the street and I couldn't just ignore it-"

"I know," Tony cut what he was saying. "It's fine."

Peter's tense shoulders relaxed. "Thank you."

Once again, a silence settled in between them, but this time it wasn't an awkward one.

"So, Peter, how do you feel about working with me from now on?" Tony asked almost offhandedly, but his words held more weight than he was admitting.

The teen's head shot up in shock. "As Spider-Man or as Peter Parker?"

There was a brief pause, but no hesitation in Tony's voice as he answered. "As both."

Peter smiled widely in reply. "I- I would like that, sir."

"First, if we're going to be working together, you'll have to cut the 'sir' and 'Mr. Stark' crap. Second, I believe you mentioned something about broken web shooters?"


	50. Soulmate (again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In their universe, people can hear the music their soulmates are listening to. The problem is that Peter has a rather particular music taste.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a part 2 of Soulmate
> 
> Again, this is platonic! (Their ages aren't mentioned here so if you wanna imagine it as anything else, you do you ig. I don't ship it though.)

Tony Stark lay in bed wide awake at 2 AM. No, he didn't have insomnia. No, he didn't feel energetic.

_Peel the avocado, peel the avocado..._

Yes, he did feel miserable. Yes, he hated his soulmate.

Okay, he didn't. He found funny and quite adorable the way they would always be listening to the weirdest songs, and how they loved musicals, but seriously? That song at 2 AM? Did they hate him?

_Peel the avocado, peel the avocado..._

Tony sighed. Sometimes he hated living in a universe where everyone could hear the music their soulmate was listening to. At first it can seem awesome, but nope.

_Guacamole, gua-guacamole..._

It was 2 AM. He was gonna kill them.

_Guacamole, gua-guacamole._

Tony's frustrated screams were muffled by his pillow.

.×××.

Peter was sitting on a rooftop, just vibing to his awesome music, but Karen shook him out of his happiness to alert him of a robbery happening nearby.

What a mean criminal.

Sighing in sad defeat, Peter stood up from his spot at the top of the tallest building and jumped off of it.

"Peel the avocado, peel the avocado..." he sang under his breath as he swung. He then arrived to the where the robbery was taking place and landed in front of the criminal. "Peel the avocado, peel the avocado..." Peter webbed the woman up and started freeing the hostages. "Guacamole, gua-guacamole..." They all thanked him quickly and ran away in fear as the woman kept on struggling against the cocoon that held her in place. Peter did a military salute towards her and pulled on a web behind him to leave. "Guacamole, gua-guacamole."

The song finished. Peter paused. He hadn't felt it enough...   
  


_Peel the avocado, peel the avocado..._

.×××.

Tony almost tore his hair out in pure frustration.

_Peel the avocado, peel the avocado..._

Why was his soulmate so cruel?

_Peel the avocado, peel the avocado..._

Tony was going to murder them.

_Guacamole, gua-guacamole..._

He would murder them and he would have no regrets.

_Guacamole, gua-guacamole._

He sighed in relief. The song was over.

Finally, peace.  
  


_Peel the avocado, peel the avocado..._

"That's it. I'm going to look for them and I'm going to murder them."

With that, Tony got up from his bed and started giving orders to Friday, numbering every song he had listened to through the bond during that week and developing an algorithm to find his soulmate.

He was so done.

.×××.

Peter was at the top of the same building again, just chilling and vibing to his music. Then Iron Man landed in front of him, muffling the music.

What a mean man.

"Peter Parker? You're going to stop that song right now."

The spiderling didn't care that Iron Man knew his secret identity, nor that it was his hero who was in front of him. He just wanted to finish listening to his song!

Peter pouted. "Nope."

Tony Stark came out of the suit and literally screamed in frustration. "I swear to god, kid, if you don't stop that right now I'm going to break your phone."

"Rude," Peter said before sighing and stopping the track.

"Finally!" Tony said in pure relief. "It was driving me insane!"

While the billionaire finished his internal victory dance, Peter stared in confusion.

"Hold up. What?"


	51. Bad day?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter's having a very bad day. But maybe, just maybe, at the end of the day it isn't as bad as he first thought it was.

Peter wasn't having a great day, per say. Flash had been mocking him the whole day, he had missed a class for an important robbery happening nearby, in which he was also hurt with no one to help him, and then he had lost his backpack (and his phone that had been in it) again.

He tried hard to look happy as he entered the car Tony always sent to pick him up.

"Hi, Happy!" Peter said, hoping- begging internally that the man wouldn't shut him off that day. He really needed someone, _anyone_.

The divider rolled up.

Peter looked down in sadness, holding back tears.

What had he done wrong? He couldn't think of anything that explained why Flash was so hateful, or why his teacher was so harsh after he came bleeding into class after no one picked up the phone to help him, or why people kept stealing his bag every time he went out of his way to save their asses, or why Happy didn't give him a second chance when he tried his best.

His bleak thoughts accompanied him the whole way to Stark Towers.

"Thank you, Happy," Peter said, though he knew Happy wasn't listening.

The teen made his way through the front gate and headed to the private elevator, only to be stopped by a new guard.

"You can't be here."

Peter looked down. He wanted to cry. "I'm supposed to be."

"This is not a place to joke around, kid. You need to leave."

He looked at the guard, his eyes shining but not in his usual way, before sighing and lightly pushing him to the side. He scanned his badge and hand, and the screen lit up in green. The guard seemed taken aback and a bit scared, but Peter didn't look back at him (nor up, actually) as he went inside the elevator and let Friday take him to the penthouse.

The elevator doors opened up to show the penthouse, as expected, but no one in it.

"Is anyone in here?" Peter called out, directing his question both at the empty space and to Friday.

"There's no one currently in the penthouse, Peter," the AI contributed.

Peter looked down once again. "Is Mr. Stark in his lab?"

There was a pause.

"Mr. Stark is not in the building."

A single tear made its way down Peter's left cheek.

"Okay," he said weakly. "That's okay."

Defeatedly, he sat down on the couch, wondering if he was even supposed to be there at all.

•×××•

It had been two hours before anyone appeared at the penthouse.

Peter lay on the couch; he had cried himself to sleep. And that's how the Avengers found him.

"Hi, Pete!" Clint said brightly, though he seemed tired.

"Hey, маленький паук," Nat said softly.

They all greeted him with happiness and affection, but they had yet to see his tear stained face and bloody shirt.

"Hi," was the Peter's slightly broken response. "Was I supposed to come today?"

They looked at each other in confusion before noticing the teen's appearance and gaping for half a second.

Natasha run to his side, immediately cutting his shirt to see and attend the wound as she frantically asked, "Is everything okay? Peter, what happened?"

The others weren't left behind as they all approached him with concern lacing their features, but leaving space for the ex-assassin to take care of the wound comfortably.

Peter stared at the floor. "You didn't pick up," he whispered. It was mostly to himself, to start getting used to the idea of them not caring about him as be thought he should. He hadn't intended it that way, but a few of them heard. "Where were you?" This time, he asked a little louder.

"We were in an emergency mission, we had no way of contacting anyone," Steve told him. Due to his enhanced hearing, he had heard what the teen had whispered, and the pieces of the puzzle were slowly falling into place for him. He was worried about it.

"But we're back now and we will take care of you, alright?" Nat said, finishing bandaging the wound and giving Peter a look that left no room for arguments. Now feeling a little better because of their care, Peter nodded.

They spent an hour like that, bonding with each other and taking care of Peter to the best of their abilities, making him feel loved and cared for.

"Peter, boss is back. He's calling you to his lab," Friday said out of the blue.

The team members gave the teen encouraging smiles, so Peter quietly headed to the elevator (not before putting on a new shirt). A little residual amount of sadness came back to him as he did so. Why had Mr. Stark been gone? Why had he missed their weekly lab afternoon without even telling him? Was he that unimportant?

The elevator doors opened up for Peter to see his mentor. This time, unlike any other, another teenager was with him.

Had Peter been replaced? He wanted to feel betrayed or hurt, but he could understand the decision. This new teen looked like a real genius, so it made sense.

But Peter had to stare. Because that boy was probably the most beautiful person he had ever seen. He couldn't be mad at them.

"Hiya, Pete! This is Harley!"

"Hi, Mr. Stark!" Peter said, Tony's excitement making his mood a little lighter. "Hi, Harley!"

No, he didn't blush, who told you that?

"Hi, Peter," Harley said with a little smile.

"So, I met this guy by invading his house. Then he threatened me with a potato gun." Tony smiled.

Peter stared, waiting. "Wait, is that it? That's the story of how you two met?" They both nodded. "Alright I guess." Peter tilted his head to the side slightly in confusion.

A small "awww" was heard from Harley.

"He's adorable, isn't he?" Tony commented in amusement.

"Yeah, he is," Harley agreed. Peter did _not_ blush. Nope.

There was a minuscule pause in which Peter and Harley looked at each other, while Tony kept being oblivious.

"It was time the two most annoying teenagers out there met," he told them with a smile, but they both knew he said it fondly.

Harley took a second to look down at himself and then at Peter, only then turning to the billionaire again. "Don't you mean awesome, old man? Because hell yeah we both are."

"Sure, Harls. Whatever lets you sleep at night."

"Oh, so I'm not awesome now?" Peter asked, feigning offense. "You wound me!"

"You'd be awesome if you answered your texts, kid. I sent you five telling you to come later because I was going to pick up Harley," Tony said with a small laugh.

Peter opened his mouth but didn't say anything. So Tony hadn't been ignoring him? He hadn't forgotten about him, nor gotten tired of him, nor replaced him?

A smile started forming in his lips as he replied, "You'll have to buy me one, if you want me to get your texts in the first place."

He didn't mean it seriously, but Tony frowned at him and opened a drawer, taking out a new Stark Phone and handing it to him as if it weren't worth thousands of dollars.

"It was a joke," Peter deadpanned. Tony shrugged and took the phone back.

"Where's your phone, then?" Tony asked with a raised eyebrow.

"The real question is: what's your phone number?" Harley asked.

No, Peter didn't blush. Why do you keep insisting on that?

Peter's eyes didn't stray from Tony's, though. "Okay, it may or may not have been stolen today."

As Tony groaned, Harley looked panicked and approached the other teen.

"Are you okay? What happened? Are you hurt?" he fussed, all traces of amusement far gone.

"I'm fine, I swear!"

Harley narrowed his eyes. "The bandage on your shoulder begs to differ."

At a moments notice, Tony was by his side too. "Peter! What have I told you about getting hurt and not calling anyone?" They ignored Harley's confusion and panic.

"I did call through the suit! But no one picked up. The others were on a mission and I guess you didn't have reception wherever you were picking Harley from. Then later I just didn't have a phone." Peter crossed his arms. The new Stark phone from before was shoved into his hands once again.

"Now you do. And I'm sorry I wasn't there." Tony said it with an offhanded tone, but they both knew it was anything but that.

"It's fine. But-" Peter opened his arms- "you owe me a hug." Tony rolled his eyes and hugged the teen, the smile tugging at his lips betraying his fake annoyance.

"Hold up, what's going on?" Harley asked with a confused frown in his face.

"He's Spider-Man," the billionaire clarified. Peter didn't mind him telling Harley, he actually kind of liked the fact that he would know from the very beginning so there would be no need for lies.

Harley widened his eyes a bit, staring at Peter with newfound curiosity. "How is it that he just got even hotter?" he muttered under his breath.

This time, the blush was undeniable. Peter coughed. "Super hearing."

It was Harley's turn to blush. "Oh."

Silence.

"But I meant it."

Peter smiled shyly. Maybe the day wasn't as bad as he had first thought.


	52. Definitely not a bad day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nope, the day hadn't been bad at all.   
> The ones having bad days now were the Avengers. How could Harley and Peter not realize their feelings towards each other? It was frustrating, for God's sake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of Bad day?  
> Warning: this is disgustingly sweet and you will probably die for the amount of adorableness in it... Just in case any of you don't like romance

The previously bad day had turned out to be one of the best days of his life.

Who cared if Flash was an asshole, or if he had been hurt, or if his bag was stolen, or if Happy didn't listen to him, or of the security guard was kinda mean?

At the end of the day, Peter didn't care about Flash, he had better friends and people who cared for him surrounding him. He had been hurt, but his family was there to take care of it and make sure he would be alright. His bag went missing, but that really wasn't a problem when your mentor (aka dad) was a billionaire that loved to spoil you. And what if Happy didn't listen to him? Peter had friends and family that loved him and were always happy to give some of their time to listen to him. And about the security guard... Peter couldn't blame him; it was his job after all.

That day, his family had pampered him and given him more attention than usual, which was saying a lot. He had even gotten a hug from Tony!

But the real highlight of the day was another. His name? Harley Keener.

That man looked like he had been sculpted by Greek gods themselves from Peter's perspective, and he often found himself thinking of him in ways that couldn't be justified by friendship.

Peter had fallen for Harley. Hard.

But god if he had reasons to. The boy was brilliant, an absolute genius with an unmatched creativity (Potato gun? Ring any bell?). Peter could stare at him for hours on end and never get bored, finding a new detail about him to admire each time he did.

And Harley wasn't any different.

To his eyes, Peter was a literal angel: the most selfless and adorable person he had ever met. When he smiled or laughed, Harley had to do a conscious effort to stop himself from staring and smiling like an idiot, but he was tempted every time.

Harley could swear he melted every time Peter carelessly gifted him a look as if it were nothing, when it caused a zoo to appear inside the stomach of the boy from Tennessee. And when Peter talked science... Harley was fascinated by it, but he found it hard to pay attention to the words leaving Peter's mouth when he sounded so excited and looked as happy as he did.

But neither of them knew about the other's feelings.

•×××•

"I swear to god, I saw the sun hiding in shame after seeing how bright Peter was."

"That's called nighttime, Harley," Tony said with a sigh. The boy payed him no mind.

"And have you heard him laugh? I didn't know sounds could be addictive until now."

"Harls, I love you but please stop," Tony said in tiredness, rubbing his eye.

The boy pouted. "You're not fun."

•×××•

"Is it just me or is Harley the most intelligent person alive?" Peter said in a low voice while the boy he spoke about worked in the lab.

"I take offense in that," Tony said as he stopped working.

Peter's eyes left the blonde's busy hands for a few seconds, and he looked at his mentor as if he had forgotten he was there in the first place.

"Uhh... Sorry, dad."

Peter blushed. He had not only spoken about Harley to Tony- he had also called him dad!

"Sorry! I didn't mean to say that, I swear!"

Tony stopped working once again. "You're not allowed to call me anything else from now on," he stated with finality.

"But, Mr. Stark-"

"Uh-uh-uh," he interrupted the teen. "If you call me that once more, you're grounded."

Peter smiled a little. "Okay, _dad_."

At the background, Harley could be seen fanboying silently in the floor.

"I swear he can't be any cuter."

Pause.

"Harley, I still have super hearing."

"I know."

Peter blushed again.

•×××•

"He's so oblivious, it's adorable," Harley told Tony as they revised some blueprints. Peter was inside the lab too, but he was on his own.

"Harley."

"Have you seen him, Tony?"

"Harley."

"He looks like he just fell from Heaven."

"Harley, stop."

But Peter, from the other side of the room, was confused. "Did you just call me Satan?"

"I-"

"Oblivious, Tony, I told you."

•×××•

"He's so beautiful I swear-"

"Harley, if you aren't going to ask him out and tell all these things to him, stop." Tony was tired, so tired.

"What? Why would I do that?" Harley asked him. He seemed almost alarmed. "He doesn't like me, I'd just ruin everything!"

Tony tried not to facepalm.

"What did you say about him being oblivious, sorry?"

Harley brightened up instantly. "Yeah, that he's so cute-"

Tony groaned.

•×××•

Tony sat in the head of the table in a conference room, all the other Avengers surrounding him and looking at him in confusion.

The billionaire had his palms together, with his index fingers extended over his mouth. He seemed to be waiting for something.

"Tony, what's going on?" Steve asked for the group. The billionaire held up one hand to shush him and waited a few more seconds.

Friday's voice came out of the speakers, startling everyone but her creator. "Peter is now completely out of hearing range, boss."

"Thank you, darling," Tony said to his AI before standing up and finally addressing his teammates. "We're here to set Harley and Peter up. They're disgustingly in love with each other and none of them realizes their feelings are reciprocated. I swear to god they're driving me insane." Tony plopped back down on his chair, as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders at the prospect of getting a solution.

The Avengers looked at each other and a few nodded in agreement.

Natasha stood up with a smirk gracing her lips. "Let's do it."

Clint started shouting quickly. "No! He's a baby! We can't do that- Author don't you dare cut the scene before I finish-"

•×××• :)

"Everyone remembers their part?" Tony asked them all in a whisper as the elevator doors opened to show two happy teenagers who came from the lab.

A couple "yeah" were heard from the group, but they all shut up quickly so they could put their plan into action.

"Hi, Mr. St-" Peter cut himself off. "Sorry. Hi, dad, everyone!"

Harley smiled. "Old man, people I barely know," was his greeting.

The Avengers tried to stay serious as Sam stood up and headed to the fridge, opening and faking surprise, taking a hand to his mouth. "There's no more milk!"

Vision stood up too and went to the cupboard. "We are also lacking cereal," he deadpanned.

Wanda looked over her boyfriend's shoulder and opened her eyes just a little too much. "No bread either."

Bruce took a hand to his chin in an 'I'm thinking' fashion. "What could we do to solve this?" he asked with exaggerated worry.

"I have an idea!" Tony piped in. "Peter and Harley could go buy some!"

"Yes! Together!" Steve exclaimed.

"And they could also buy everything in this extremely long list that I definitely haven't been hiding!" Bucky said.

Harley blinked twice in confusion. Peter tilted his head to the side.

"What?" they both asked.

Natasha suddenly stood up, seemingly done with life, and shoved the list into the spider-teen's hand. "We need you both to go buy this, please."

Harley looked at Peter, who shrugged. "Sure."

Then they left through the elevator they had just come out from, and the red-haired woman turned to his teammates. "You're all fucking idiots."

"Language!" everyone but Cap instantly said. The latter only sighed in defeat.

•×××•

Later that day, the father-son duo was back in the lab.

"How was your date with Harley?" Tony asked.

Peter choked. "What?"

"Your date," Tony said slower.

"We just went to the store. As friends. We're not dating. He doesn't like me."

The billionaire felt the temptation to slam his head in his desk, but refrained from doing so.

That moment was conveniently the one in which Harley entered the lab.

"Oh, would you look at the time!" Tony all of a sudden said while looking at his wrist and standing up. "I gotta go!"

"Tony," Harley started, "you don't have a watch."

"I have to go to work regardless!"

"Dad, you work here. In the lab. For SI."

Tony paused.

"Sorry, kids, I'm late already; no time to discuss!" And he left.

Both teens looked at each other with the same expression on their faces. "What the hell?"

•×××•

One day later, the trio was back in the lab. Once again, Harley and Tony were working together while Peter worked on his own.

The spider-boy suddenly sighed and left what he was doing, approaching both of the other people in the lab.

Tony watched in happiness and relief as Peter wrapped his arms around Harley's waist from behind and rested his face in the crook of his neck.

"Yes! You're finally dating!"

Both teenagers froze. "We're not dating, old man. Why would you say that?"

Tony's eyes filled with dread. He'd have to deal with it for even longer? He wasn't sure he would be able to.

"You- you're hugging!" Tony was almost desperate at this point.

Harley and Peter looked at each other then back at Tony.

It was Peter who spoke. "We just talked about toxic masculinity and then this happened-"

Tony was about to scream.

•×××•

"Hi, dad!" Peter said two days later as he entered the living room next to Harley.

"Hey, kiddos. Everything alright?"

"Yeah, we just came back from having lunch!"

Tony started preparing himself mentally for the frustration that was sure to come.

"Oh, you went out for lunch? How nice!" he said. "Just a good lunch as friends..." Tony could swear it had reached the point of trauma. If it hadn't, it was close.

The boy from Tennessee smiled. "Actually, it was a date." He grabbed Peter's hand softly.

Tony choked.


	53. Vines mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers are introduced to vines. Chaos reigns.

Peter hadn't meant to say it! It just... slipped.

"Yeet!" was what Peter had said when Thor threw his hammer.

Not intended. Of course.

.

Nah, it had been intended. He had wanted to say it and confusing everyone was just a bonus.

Wanda smiled at him in amusement and said, "Back at it again at Krispy Kreme."

Without missing a beat, Peter started doing flips and proceeded to knock over a pile of training stuff. It was purposefully, of course; he was Spider-Man after all, but the team didn't seem to catch on.

"Oh my God, Peter!" Tony exclaimed.

"Are you alright?" Natasha asked in concern.

"Where does it hurt?" Clint asked him with care.

Then there was Vision. "Mother trucker, dude! That must have hurt like a butt cheek on a stick!"

Silence.

"What?" Steve finally asked. Peter smiled widely.

"I have something to show you. It will change your life." The teen motioned the hundred-year-old man to come over. "Come with me, child."

•×××•

Next time it happened, everyone was shocked to the core. Why?

Well, the Avengers had been fighting over the typical topic of "does pineapple belong on pizza?" when Captain America opened his mouth to speak.

"Fuck this shit I'm out."

Clint gaped. Tony spat his coffee. Natasha raised her eyebrows. Bruce widened his eyes. Thor blinked three times quickly. Sam choked on his chocolate milk. Vision smiled. Wanda smirked.

Bucky just turned to Peter for an explanation. Once again, he smiled.

"Do not fear, I will educate you."

•×××•

It was unexpected. No one would have imagined what happened next.

The Avengers were just chilling in the living room, listening to music and chatting, when the soldier with a metal arm entered the room.

"Hey Bucky, how are you?" Bruce asked politely.

Bucky stared at him blankly for five seconds straight.

"They ask you how you are and you just have to say that you're fine when you're not really fine but you can't get into it because they would never understand-"

They stood up and left the room. All of them.

All of them but the one who asked, and he too received a grin.

"Come with me, Bruce. There's someone who can show you a brand new word."

•×××•

It was expected from Peter, Wanda, Vision, Bucky and maybe even Steve, but Bruce?

No one would have ever, in a million years, thought it would happen.

That's why, when Bruce had a thoughtful face, they never guessed he would turn to Tony and say, "You're a billionaire... which means you have enough money for chicken nuggets."

Tony was taken aback by that and, before he could manage to get a word out, Thor spoke.

"Bruce, what the hel are you talking about?"

The scientist turned to his boyfriend with a small smile forming in his lips.

"Oh, Thor. If you come with me, there's still hope for you."

•×××•

After that, the god of thunder went back to Asgard for a little while. But he was excited about his new knowledge...

"That was legitness!" he said when he recounted a story to Loki, who was basically ignoring him. That was until he heard the word his brother used and his interest was picked.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Thor's smile had never been so big before. "I know someone who will be willing to teach you, brother."

("THOR OH MY GOD THAT'S A MAGICAL CRIMINAL WHO TRIED TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD YOU CAN'T JUST BRING HIM-")

•×××•

Thor's return was unusual.

"This bitch empty, YEET!" Loki said as he yeeted his brother by the head from the elevator.

The god of thunder stood up dizzily with a proud smile. "I taught him that on the way here."

The brothers simultaneously turned around and went through the hallway door without looking back, in search of a certain someone who could educate them.

Natasha, tired of it all and frustrated about not understanding, stood up. "Fuck it, I'm coming too."

•×××•

Clint was holding a box of crayons he had bought for his children. The situation was just too ideal.

Natasha fought the temptation, she really did, but Peter came to her and said, "Don't hold back, мама паук."

The ex-assassin tried a little longer before exploding.

"Is that a weed? I'm calling the police!" She headed to the microwave and put 911.

Friday's voice rang out across the room. "911 what's your emergency?"

Tony's confused and horrified face was the next thing they all saw.

"What did you do to my AI?"

Peter smiled a bit more. "Come with me and you'll see."

•×××•

"Ah fuck, I can't believe you've done this!" Tony said in fake offense as Clint threw him a banana peel at Mario Kart.

Clint stood up and carefully left the control on the floor while the game was still on.

"I'm going to find out what this is all about. I will."

There was a short silence before the billionaire broke it.

"Peter, I got you a new student!"

•×××•

For some reason, that specific night dinner was awkward and uncomfortable.

Going against his normal behavior, the archer of the team sat in silence and had a thinking face.

Everyone eyed him warily.

"But seriously, why is it Arkansas not pronounced like Kansas?"

Everyone chuckled or smiled. Sam screamed. Peter's smile got wider.

"Uncle Sam? I've got something to show you."

•×××•

"That battle went well! It almost seemed like we had the power of God and anime on our side!" Bucky said as they entered through the door.

"No, it wasn't good."

"Come on, Tony! It was!" Clint said.

There was a brief silence in which Tony started quietly fuming.

"NO IT WAS NOT."

Clint let out a little surprised scream. "Stop! I could've dropped my croissant!"

"No, you stop! In sensitive, Aubrey!" Tony countered. "Everything went wrong!"

"That is not correct," Sam intervened. "Because according to the encyclopedia of ajbdkdnckelwk-"

Loki sighed while looking at the team. "Look at all those chickens." Natasha nodded at his words, but Steve frowned at her

"You better watch out, you better watch out, you better watch out."

Their voices all started raising and at this point they were basically all yelling at each other.

Peter sighed and said quietly, "When there's too much drama at school..."

"All you gotta do is walk awAaAaAy," Wanda finished.

Then they proceeded to walk out of the room with Vision following close behind, refusing to acknowledge the mess they had created.


	54. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the Infinity War, Peter has nightmares he just can't deal with, so he gives up sleep. But when he does fall asleep... it hurts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First and maybe last one shot happening after Infinity War and Endgame (unless you want more). Tony isn't dead because no.

Slowly, cautiously, Peter opened his window from the outside and entered his room in absolute silence. He then headed to his bed, making sure the wooden floor under him wouldn't creak as his stepped in it. Like that, the teen made his way to his bed and lay in it, only taking off his mask and making it so the rest of the suit was hidden beneath the blankets. Next, Peter closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep, it taking every ounce of his willpower for it not to become true.

This had been going on for a while now, ever since the war with Thanos finished. Peter had innocently believed that once it was over, he would be able to relax and take his mind off it.

But when the craved moment finally arrived, reality was far from what he had expected.

How was Peter supposed to sleep when every time he fell asleep he relived that one painful memory, feeling himself be torn apart each time?

Peter just couldn't take it, and so he had given up sleep.

•×××•

Sleepless nights took a toll on Peter, though he wouldn't admit it. His eyes became unfocused most often than not, his responses now came always with a delay touched by tiredness, and the bags under his eyes were now almost dark enough to match his dreams.

Was it really worth it? If Peter's thoughts weren't as hazy as they were, he'd probably be able to think about it, but they were, so he did not.

That was until the day came that it became too much and he passed out in exhaustion, six days after living off caffeine.

Nightmares didn't come as a surprise. In his unconscious state, Peter whimpered and cried, but he was too quiet for his family at the tower to notice. But Friday did, eventually, picking up in his ragged breathing and accelerating heartbeat. She alerted Tony, who was quick to head into his mentee's room to help him out. It was his area of expertise, after all.

"Hey, Underoos. Everything's alright." Tony could only whisper comforting nothings in hopes to soothe the teen until he woke up, otherwise it would be worse for the traumatized child. The billionaire was unable to do anything as he watched the kid he saw as his own suffer in his restless sleep, his face contorting in expressions of pure pain and horror that didn't belong there.

It wasn't long until Peter's eyes flung open, shining with tears as he whimpered. "No, no, no!"

Tony reached out a hesitant hand to touch the teen's arm. "It's fine, Pete, you're fine."

His head shot up, hurrying to find the source of the voice and achieving it after three seconds of residual fear and confusion. Not a second later, Peter hurled himself into his mentor's arms, in desperate need of a hug, of reassurance, which was returned with just as much emotion.

Peter couldn't help the pain of his nightmare burning inside of him, there was nothing he could do against reliving one of the most recent and painful moments of his life.

"It's fine, Peter. He'll never hurt you again. You're fine."

The little teen pulled back, tears now a continuous stream over his cheeks as he gripped Tony's shoulders with just a little too much strength. He shook his head.

"You are fine. That's what I needed to know."

Because all these nights, the nightmares that accompanied him hadn't been about him being dusted, but rather of Tony being in the brink of death after snapping his fingers with the gauntlet and stones. Because, ironically enough, being torn apart physically hurt less than being torn apart emotionally.

Peter looked at Tony, at his dad, one last time, just to make sure he was actually there, before being pulled in for another hug even tighter than the previous one. This time, both of their cheeks were wet, but they had everything they needed. Now everything was alright.


	55. Educating Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki comes to visit and Peter takes it upon himself to educate him on Earth's culture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spiderfrost because that ship is amazing. Fight me.

When Peter came back from school, he wasn't expecting to see his Uncle Thor nor the god's brother. At all.

Thor was meant to come back in a weeks time, so Peter had no idea what was going on when the elevator doors opened up to reveal the wielder of Mjölnir.

"Uncle Thor!" teen basically squealed in excitement. It was a welcome surprise. Peter launched himself into the man's open arms with big, excited eyes, that missed everything else happening in the room.

"Little Spider," Thor greeted relatively calm, receiving the kid with open arms. The pair had bonded once Peter accidentally lifted the hammer, it proclaiming him worthy. After that, Thor just couldn't ignore the kid and took him to Asgard (Tony had gone mad looking for Peter. He still hasn't completely forgiven him.)

But after the enthusiastic hug, Peter noticed the room's atmosphere, which was tense and awkward. He looked around in hopes of finding the source of that, and was quick to achieve it. The gorgeous man in the room did call the attention a lot, after all.

"Peter," Tony said while grabbing him by the shoulder in an affectionate and protective manner. "This is Loki, Thor's brother."

Peter perked up. "Loki as in the guy who tried to take over the Earth some years ago?"

The black-haired god sighed. "Yes, that one. But, in my defense, I _was_ being mind controlled."

There was a short silence in which everyone waited tensely for Peter's reaction, ready to protect him if it came to it. Peter just stared blankly.

And then his face broke into a little supportive smile, but it held no pity. "I'm sorry for that, Mr. Loki. I can show you around if you want; I think you'll like Earth now that you're you!"

Being for the first time at the receiving end of Peter's happiness and positivity came as a shock to Loki, but he didn't show it much. The god smiled a bit, more like a smirk than an actual smile, and hummed in appreciation. "That would be nice, little one."

Thor glared at his brother halfheartedly but a light laugh ended up escaping his lips. "You're only 1070 years old, Loki, don't boast."

Peter choked. "1070? 'Only' 1070?"

Loki rolled his eyes and crossed his arms as Thor elaborated. "We age slower than you Midgardians. Loki's age is equivalent to approximately 17 or 18 human years." Peter nodded, soaking in the new information.

"Then I guess you'll like similar things to me so let's go!" Withour warning, catching the god off guard, Peter grabbed his wrist delicately and pulled lightly towards his room's general direction. It took a lot out of Peter to contain so much of his strength, almost all of it, but he didn't want to hurt Loki; he looked and acted so delicate that there was no chance Peter would treat him any other way.

Loki was startled by the teen's actions, but it amused him more than offended him, so he let the boy be. There was also the fact that Peter was taking (dragging) him away from a room of people that hated his guts, so going with someone who looked like an excited puppy didn't seem like a bad idea at all in comparison.

The Avengers then started shouting warnings to their baby spider, but Loki had long since put up a sound barrier so they wouldn't be bothered.

"Where are we going to?" Loki asked. He didn't like not knowing something.

Peter answered with a bright smile. "You'll have to wait and see, but relax; it's nothing bad and I think you'll like it. Just trust me."

And, sensing no lie from the boy, Loki did.

•×××•

"So, there's this queen called Julia Michaels, and Hayley Kiyoko (who's also lesbian jesus), and Harry Styles. He's a queen, too. No one can convince me otherwise."

They were sitting at opposite ends of Peter's bed, resting their backs against the wall as the teen educated the god in music.

"They are queens who sing?" Loki asked curiously. He was confused, very confused actually, but it was worth it if he learnt about Midgardian culture since it was very useful and, although he hated to admit it, interesting. He couldn't find it in himself to be bothered by the teen's confusing explanation; he learnt more from his manners, personality and behavior than he did from what he was saying.

"Well, they're not real queens in the sense that they don't rule a kingdom, but they very well could be with how amazing they are," Peter elaborated while moving his hands to explain, but Loki curiously noticed he was restraining himself from doing the entire movement. With interest, the god of mischief noticed, too, that the kid seemed reserved. Well, not reserved, considering he was sharing most things in his mind, but Loki could notice how he was holding back.

Thinking hard, Loki decided to put a plan in action to see if his hypothesis was true. He first decided to copy Peter's position and sit crosslegged in the bed, that contrasting his previous polite but not hostile nor cold posture. At this, the kid relaxed a little bit and sat ever so slightly closer to him. Loki smiled; the kid was just trying to make him feel comfortable and not disrespect his boundaries. It was a whole lot more considerate than anything any other Midgardian (and even many Asgardians) had done for him. Adorable.

Without realizing it, Loki stayed in that position.

Peter, on his side of the bed, kept on rambling about the best music artists he knew while their songs played in the background, but he made sure that it wasn't too much for Loki.

"Lauv and Alec Benjamin are also a massive yes, you have to hear them. And Sam Smith! They're amazing! And Troye Sivan... I think you'll like his music. Imagine Dragons and One Direction-" Peter was interrupted by a soft hand touching his arm and he was scared for a second that he had talked too much, but Loki's expression was calm when they met eyes.

"That song that just played is remarkable. Tell me about it," the god said. "Friday?" the AI hummed her acknowledgment. "Could you replay it, please?"

Sweater Weather by The Neighborhood started playing.

Peter stared at Loki.

"God, if you're real please let the stereotype apply," Peter said under his breath.

"What?" Loki asked in confusion. Oops, he had heard him.

Peter blushed. "Uh... this song is considered the bisexual anthem. Oh, bisexuality is the umbrella term for people who like more than one gender, by the way. So, most of the people obsessed with this song turn out to be bi."

Well, that was surely interesting, but there was something else Loki's mind highlighted for him, making him raise a brow.

"And why were you praying for it to apply to me?"

Peter blushed harder, but he looked like a confused puppy. "I don't know."

And, sensing no lie from the boy, Loki believed him.

•×××•

"Now, Loki, would you like to see the best clothing style on Earth?" Peter asked excitedly. The god looked at him and nodded slowly. He wasn't particularly interested in the subject; he prided himself for his fashion sense but wasn't interested in anyone else's. But Peter was Peter, and everything was interesting with him.

Peter put on some light baggy jeans with a light brown belt. He cuffed the jeans, putting on a plain white shirt afterwards and tucking it in. All that was accompanied by a pair of white Vans, giving it the last touch Peter felt it needed before he showed his simple yet amazing outfit to the god he was growing rapidly attached to.

"Ta-da!" Peter said, dragging out the last a.

Loki rolled his eyes, but a small smile tugged at his lips.

"Now we'll go to the mall," Peter announced with a big grin in his face.

And, once again, Loki complied, following Peter around as he rambled about the shops they passed.

But then this other boy appeared.

"Penis Parker!" Flash mocked.

"Did someone say something? I'm sorry, I don't speak bullshit," Loki said, putting in practice what Peter had so eagerly taught him.

"Oh look, Penis, your boyfriend doesn't hear you!"

Loki calmly made knives materialize in both his hands. He was just about to stab Flash when he was interrupted.

Peter frowned. "No! Bad Loki!"

Loki frowned. "Bad Loki?"

Peter frowned harder. "Bad Loki!"

And Loki couldn't help feeling sad.

"Bad Loki," he whispered as he deflated.

The boy grabbed the god's hand this time, still with the same delicacy as the first time he had grabbed his wrist, but with a firmer grip.

"Bad Loki."

The god all but pouted as he was dragged away. "But why can I not stab him? He was rude to you!" he protested.

"Because you can't just stab mortals, it's unethical and illegal!"

"What about lightly impaling them?"

Peter stopped walking and turned around. "No." He turned back around and continued dragging the god elsewhere.

"Why is it such a big deal? I am a god, they cannot touch a hair in my head."

"Because," Peter started, "if you stab someone then my family will try to lock you up and we won't be able to hang out again." He pursed his lips. "I wouldn't like that."

And, not sensing a lie from the boy, Loki stopped complaining.

•×××•

"That was one peculiar vine," Loki commented.

This time, both of them were sitting directly beside each other in Peter's bed, the boy still only doing what the god felt comfortable with and no more. They were watching random videos in YouTube and vines compilation, even Loki laughing now that he understood Gen Z humor.

And then the Harry Potter train vine came and made Peter jump. He had been far too occupied staring at the man beside him to notice what was going on in the screen, and so he got startled when that one satanic vine came, making Peter hit his back against the wall behind him. Loki immediately turned to him, both of them now ignoring the screen as the god fussed over him.

"Are you alright?" Loki asked with a worried frown.

"Yeah," was all Peter said.

Loki's frown deepened. "I'm the god of lies for a reason, Peter."

The boy looked away in embarrassment, but Loki placed a delicate hand in his chin, making Peter take the clue and look back at him.

"I'm okay now. I was just caught off guard."

The god nodded, accepting the answer, but didn't make a move to return to their previous position. They were looking each other in the eye, but Peter's gaze strayed to the god's lips.

"Can I kiss you?" Loki asked quietly.

Peter stared at Loki with his big doe brown eyes, finally figuring out why he had wished Loki was into men, and why he kept staring. "Please."

"Are you sure, Peter?" Loki asked, his soft hand moving from his chin to his cheek and caressing it lightly.

"Yes, I want you to kiss me," Peter said with fondness lacing his words.

And, sensing no lie from the boy, Loki kissed him.


	56. ADvengers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this at 3 AM I can't explain it

What if the Avengers got bored and decided to film ads on their free time?

 **Steve:** My secret to being a good superhero is to be brave. So, if you're afraid of doing something you know you should do... _(With a big smile, tugging at his Nike jacket)_ Just Do It.

 **Clint:** _(Grinning)_ After a fight, I like to have a happy meal! _(Slowly eats a fry while making direct eye contact with the camera)_ I'm Loving It.

 **Natasha:** Many times, in the battlefield, enemies have tried to rip my jeans, but that only motivates me to take them down faster because _(Dramatically drops to a crouch, with one knee touching the ground and a big fake smile)_ Nothing Comes Between Me And My Calvins.

 **Peter:** _(As Spider-Man, not facing the camera)_ When I moved into the Avengers Compound, my family called every night. I always said _(Turns around, showing an LG in his hands)_ Life's Good.

 **Vision:** I don't have hair, but you deserve yours to be well taken care of _(Taking out a L'oreal shampoo from behind his back, deadpanning in his Brithis accent)_ Because You're Worth It.

 **Sam:** I'm broke and fixing my suit costs a lot of money so, for the sake of my financial situation, just stay entertained on Google and _(Smiles without showing his teeth)_ Don't Be Evil.

 **Tony:** _(Sitting on a chair, facing backwards)_ It's not unusual for people to tell me _(In a mocking voice)_ "Tony, you won't discover a new element", "Tony, you won't invent time travel", "Tony, that's impossible!" but as long as I'm comfy _(Spins chair around, showing his Adidas outfit, with a big fake smile)_ Impossible Is Nothing.

 **Bucky:** Having a metal arm is cool, but it requires special care. Tony would kill me if I broke it because of melted chocolate _(Coughs lightly)_ again, so it's good I found M&Ms because they _(Opening a bag of them awkwardly slow)_ Melt In Your Mouth, Not In Your Hands.

 **Wanda:** _(Checking her nails)_ Mind reading gets boring when everyone's the same so, for my entertainment, with Apple's help _(Finally looks at the camera, bored)_ Think Different.

 **Hulk:** Hulk smash! _(Aggressively throws Nokia to the ground and jumps on it)_ Smash, smash! _(Phone remains intact)_.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did I just write


	57. Bullies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spider-Man reveals at a press conference that he's in high school and that he's being bullied, hoping bullies all over New York would come to their senses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: bullying

Press conferences with Spider-Man weren't a normal occurrence. For that, journalists jumping at the opportunity when they were told he would be there came as no surprise. It was, after all, the first time Spidey would be answering their questions.

The days preceding that of the press conference were spent writing down millions of questions by the journalists; it was just too big of an opportunity to miss. How could they waste the chance of asking anything to the newest addition to the Avengers?

And so the day finally arrived, and questions were asked left and right to all the the members of the team, but there was a noticeable inclination towards Spidey, asking him about his powers, and the challenges of being now a part of such and elite group.

And then that one question was asked that threw away every single plan any of the journalists had built.

"Is it difficult for you to have a double life? Or do people around you know?"

Spider-Man sat back in his chair and sighed.

"It's difficult. And it hurts, too," Spidey admitted. "Only my best friend, the person who raised me, Mr. Stark and his bodyguard know who I am, and this tends to... mess up any relationship I try to start with anyone. When my friends invite me somewhere, I can never go; what if someone died because I wanted to go to the cinema? I can't afford it. And whenever I do try and go out with them, something comes up and I disappear. It hurts them, and it hurts me." The journalists, writing everything down, nodded their heads in sympathy. "It also hurt the person who raised me; at one point, she thought I was doing drugs (by the way, kids, don't do drugs!) because I sneaked out every night and came back late. And my teachers... the don't know, so they give me so many assignments that I don't have ther time to do if I want to keep people alive and safe. But hey, that's high school for you!" he finished with fake cheerfulness.

He didn't notice the whole room freeze up.

Most of the Avengers interchanged confused and panicked glances. The journalists looked scandalized. No matter how many speculations and rumors going around there were about Spider-Man, no one had ever thought about the possibility of him being younger than college age. Black Widow was probably the only person not looking even remotely surprised.

Spider-Man sighed audibly. He crossed his arms and waited patiently for the shock and noise to die down.

It took fifteen minutes, but the moment eventually came.

"Any questions?" he asked calmly once they finally became quiet.

All hands shot up. He hesitated for a second before calling a random person.

"What school do you attend?"

Spidey didn't even blink as he turned to another person. It was already settled; everyone had signed papers saying they agreed not to ask any personal questions about him. That person was being simply disrespectful, and Tony had been clear when he told him to ignore those.

"How old are you?"

Spider-Man took one of his hands to his temple. "Does anyone here have a question that doesn't break the signed agreements?"

Half the hands slowly dropped. He called another person.

"Is there anything you can and want to tell us about your life as Spider-Man at school? Does it represent a challenge or an advantage? Or is it unimportant?"

Spidey nodded, satisfied with the question, and thought for some seconds before answering.

"I can't tell you much, but there's something I want you all to know. I don't use my abilities for my own benefit; I'm not in any school sports team because it would be unfair, I don't use my enhanced strength to pick on other people, I don't take advantage of my powers at school. Not, at least, when it regards myself."

He had everyone listening intently, waiting with excitement for the words to come. This also included his teammates.

"I'm bullied," he dropped the bomb, taking a few gasps out of the crowd. "If I don't take the beatings, this bully will beat someone else, and I- I just can't accept that. I have enhanced healing, I don't care what the bully does to me as long as it is done _only_ to me." Spider-Man looked down. "I can take down this bully, but I can't risk harming a civilian to protect myself. And I couldn't do it before, so I shouldn't now."

Murmurs arose through the crowd, but they quickly became silent once again when they saw Spider-Man stand up.

"This is a message for every bully out there: please stop. It doesn't matter if it's me or other who's taking the beating, or the harsh words, or the humiliation. No one should have to go through that. Now that you know, I'm giving you all a chance to think about what you're doing to other people and stop."

•×××•

When the news came out to the world, people at schools became cautious. How could they mistreat someone when that person could turn out to be their hero, the person they had worshipped for years? How could anything be the same way it was before when no one was sure who they were treating with?

Knowing the person you are about to yell at could be an Avenger you admire really did put things into perspective.

That wasn't Peter's intention when he did what he did; he had wanted to make bullies think about their actions and stop because they felt that was the right thing to do, not because they were addicted they could be doing something that could ruin them.

But it worked, after all, and that was what mattered. The rate of bullying in high schools dropped dramatically.

Flash was a part of the group who was worried they had been doing something wrong, but only because of what it meant for him, not because he had hurt Peter.

Peter was yanked inside an empty classroom the day just after the press conference by none other than his own bully.

"You can't be Spider-Man," Flash said.

"I- Uh- _What_?" Peter was plain confused.

"You can't be Spider-Man." There was a dangerous hint of doubt in his voice.

"Thank you?"

"Think fast," Flash said out of the blue, counting on the boy's confusion to make him grab the little eraser he was throwing at his face without realizing he didn't have to do it. It was a quick, harmless way of proving that Peter wasn't Spider-Man, and it would have worked hadn't Peter been too confused and worried to even think. His Spidey Sense had picked up on the object thrown at him, but it wasn't dangerous enough to make his reflexes kick in, and Peter was just too confused to react.

The eraser hit Peter's left eye. Flash sighed in relief.

"I knew it!" Flash smirked in triumph.

Peter came out of his stupor and watched with growing frustration as Flash raised his fist to punch his face. He wasn't frustrated that the boy was trying to hit him, but that he had missed the whole meaning of Spider-Man's words.

The fist made impact.

"You don't get it, do you?" Peter asked while scowling.

"Get what?" Flash asked almost mockingly.

"You don't get that this is not what Spider-Man wanted when he told us all about his bully. He didn't just say it so bullies could pay attention to their victims for the first time, determine if they are a superhero and continue if the answer is no. He said it so bullies would realize that there's something wrong with what they are doing and stop!" Peter ranted.

But Flash had only been growing angry with each word escaping his mouth, and made sure his punches and kicks showed it. "You can't speak on Spider-Man's behalf. You're no one."

But when he was done and heading to the door, Peter spoke again. "What's the difference between doing this to me or Spider-Man? We're both persons. It shouldn't be different."

Flash looked at the floor and didn't turn before leaving in silence.

•×××•

It was almost not noticeable at all, but it was there: the way Flash now seemed to avoid Peter. As usual, each time they saw each other, the bully would find a way to annoy or hurt Peter, but after their encounter in the empty classroom a few days back, Flash seemed to find Peter during school less often.

Peter knew better than to think it was luck.

But what had happened? What had changed?

Peter liked to believe it had been his words, but he didn't know which of his identities to thank, but it didn't matter.

•×××•

"You're pathetic, Parker. Pathetic."

Flash insults had changed, too. They used to be so hard and hurtful that Peter many times believed them, but they had morphed into words that sounded empty and rehearsed. They were so repetitive that they no longer held meaning.

Peter had been giving the bully time; he knew Flash's pride was far too important for him to just drop everything at once for a person he hated, even if his hero had asked for it. But Peter respected that; he understood and simply felt happy and satisfied that Flash was trying and that beatings weren't as bad now. It had a great impact on his performance both at school and as Spider-Man.

Peter was just grateful.

•×××•

Peter watched with interest and happiness as Flash walked by without sparing him a second glance. Being ignored was way better than being beaten, and Peter felt proud that Flash had been able to outgrow his aggressive tendencies even when he believed he wasn't Spider-Man.

Peter felt happy knowing that, all around New York, there were other kids feeling the same way, and he thanked the power his alter ego had granted him that allowed him to help. That's all he had ever wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	58. Photographer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter decides to take pictures when he's Spider-Man and publish them anonymously on Instagram. And the fourth wall is nonexistent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The narration in this one's weird but I like it so yee

"Karen, take a picture please."

Peter, as Spider-Man, was sitting on top of a skyscraper waiting to be needed somewhere. From that position, sunset was just too beautiful to simply ignore or risk forgetting, so he decided to immortalize it.

"It's done, Peter. Would you like me to save it in your phone or laptop? Or maybe post it somewhere?" Karen said because plot convenience.

Perer stopped. He hadn't thought of posting it before.

Maybe... maybe he could post it in Spider-Man's account?

No, people would think he just sat on rooftops all day when he could be helping. Posting them as Spidey was out of the question, but he still wanted to post them so the plot could move forward...

What if he posted them as Peter Parker instead?

Nope, not even an option. He wouldn't be able to explain the unreleased tech nor the way he got them. Nope, simply nope.

Then what?

An anonymous account seemed like the best option (considering the other option was not posting it at all). Peter got excited planning the username he would use and the theme he'd have.

And so he posted the picture he had taken with a caption.

"I don't follow rules. I follow dogs. In social media."

And yeah he did.

•×××•

Peter hadn't meant for it to go viral.

He had no intentions, he swears!

Who would have thought that posting pictures from impossible locations and heights with unreleased technology anonymously would call so much attention?

"That's not fair," Peter complained. "You're phrasing it that way to make it look worse! Don't do that, author. I feel stupid." He pouted. I ignored him.

The one good thing about it was that at least no one was connecting Spider-Man and the anonymous "@ Ugly_Azz_Noodlehead". No one thought Spidey was young enough to know and appreciate the art of vine culture, so they didn't consider him a possibility at all.

But that left unanswered questions for everyone. Who the hell was the person posting those? And how?

If everything had gone the way Peter wanted them to go, no one would have ever found out, but he should have known better than to believe nothing would happen to him when we're talking about my one shots.

"Oh, fuck you author."

So, naturally, when his phone was connected to a projector in his Spanish class for a presentation, he got a DM to @ Ugly_Azz_Noodlehead.

The DMs were the only kind of notification he didn't have blocked. He just _had_ to receive a DM in that moment, didn't he?

No plot convenience, of course!

... why would you even suggest that? Makes no sense!

But the fact is that Peter was facing his class, not the screen, so he didn't notice. When he turned around searching for what had caused his classmates' mouths to drop open, the notification was gone, and he was left with no clue as to what happened.

But he dismissed the situation. His classmates were weird, after all.

•×××•

Word had gotten around in Midtown High about the exposed identity of the photographer. But they all kept quiet; being geniuses made them crave the feeling of pride they would get if they solved all the remaining mysteries, but they couldn't do that if everyone in the world was doing the same.

Doesn't sound believable? Okay, let me try again.

Word had gotten around in Midtown High about the exposed identity of the photographer. But they all kept quiet; they were all too scared Peter would stop if they told the world, and they all wanted to know what else would be revealed about him that wouldn't be if he knew he wasn't anonymous anymore.

•×××•

All the high school students were almost crying because of so much contained fangirling when the first thing finally happened. A little piece of Spider-Man's suit could be seen in the picture Noodlehead had just posted.

Holy fuck, did Peter know Spidey? Did he have any relation to the superhero?

This was all so surprising and unexpected!!!!

But a few minutes later, Spider-Man's official Instagram account commented in the post, "Nice hanging out with you, man!"

And yeah, Midtown High knew Peter was the photographer, but they still freaked out when they learnt his gender officially.

Then Peter, as Noodlehead, answered to Spidey, "... why did you just say that?"

"Oops I don't know I'm sorry"

"You're an idiot"

"I'm not gonna confirm nor deny that statement"

And yeah they all screamed.

•×××•

Sunsets weren't an uncommon thing in Peter's account.

"Then why were all the students screaming again?" You may be asking.

Well, I have no idea.

...

Okay, just joking, it was because the picture was taken on top of Stark Tower.

How did Peter Parker get there? How was he allowed to be there? _Why was the quality of the image so good like what the fuck where did he get this tech_

But then they all collectively died.

Because Tony Stark commented in his picture. Tony Fucking Stark.

_Holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck holy_

"Promote my industry later, kid, dinner's ready"

_WHAT THE ACTUAL-_

•×××•

"Peter Parker!" A group of random girls marched towards the boy.

He turned around in confusion. "Uh... Can I help you?"

People openly stared. Hell, it was @ Ugly_Azz_Noodlehead! How could they not?

"You know Tony Stark?!" one of them all but yelled.

Peter paled. "No?"

They narrowed their eyes and another one of them spoke.

"Yeah? Your Noodlehead account begs to differ," she confronted him, because I'm sleepy and want to get a chapter out for my amazing readers.

"Oh, come on, author! You promised I would last over a week!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for reading!


	59. Dad mode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's Dad Mode never fails when it comes to Peter, even though the boy is completely clueless about the nature of their relationship.

Tony loved Peter like he was a son to him. In Tony's eyes, he was.

He loved him so, so much.

But Peter didn't know that.

(Or realize it, more accurately)  
(Or let himself accept it was reciprocated, actually)

•×××•

_PeterPeterPeterPeterPeterPeter_

Tony's Dad Mode was going haywire. What was wrong? Did something happen? Was Peter injured?

The elevator on the lab opened and out came a crestfallen Peter.

Oh no, Peter was sad!

Tony's Dad Mode started screaming, banging pans against each other and blowing whistles inside his head.

"Hello, Mr. Stark." Gods, even Peter's voice sounded dejected!

What could he do? What could he do? Something, anything!

Peter sat down on the floor, resting his back against a desk scattered with screwdrivers, and sighed.

If he hadn't been so worried and busy panicking, Tony would have smiled a little at how bad his kid was hiding emotions.

His mind screamed at him once again, and Tony took a few steps forward towards the teen.

"Hey, kid. Everything alright?"

Tony went to put a hand on Peter's shoulder, just trying to be supportive and help his kid through anything he may need.

But Peter moved to the side before the hand could make contact.

"Oh, do you need a screwdriver? I'm sorry for getting in the way, sir."

Tony almost screamed.

•×××•

_HurryHurryHurryHurryHurryHurryHurry_

Tony's Dad Mode just wouldn't shut up. What was wrong now? Was Peter injured? Sad again? Was he alright?

Cue to internal screeching.

Something collided against the window. Spider-Man. A bloody Spider-Man.

Fuck.

Tony hurried to open it, the chaos in his mind clearing only to help Peter.

But the internal screeching didn't stop, nope.

"Holy shit, kid," Tony exclaimed as he helped Peter to the couch. "What happened?"

"Not my blood, don't worry." He then muttered, "I don't think it is," but Tony didn't hear him, so he relaxed.

"But my chest kinda hurts..." Peter added quietly. "Would you happen to have an aspirin, sir? If it isn't too much trouble."

FuckFuckFuck

"Friday," Tony instantly called out, "scan for injuries, honey."

There was a brief silence.

"Mr. Parker seems to have a fractured clavicle, rib, fibula, and phalanges, along with a dislocated shoulder and an ankle and wrist sprain."

Tony took in a sharp breath.

"Call every single doctor that's currently available. Say it's urgent."

Peter hurried to speak. "No, no, Mr. Stark! It isn't necessary! I'll be fine! You don't have to go through so much trouble for me!"

"But I want to." Tony really wanted to hug the battered boy, but he was afraid he might hurt him.

Peter looked down. "Thank you for caring, sir."

"Of course I care, kid." This child needed a hug. He needed one. He deserved one. Tony wanted to give him one.

"I'm really sorry for staining your couch, Mr. Stark," Peter said sadly then. "I'll make it up to you. I could-"

Tony closed his eyes in frustration.

"Ah-ah-ah, I'm gonna stop you right there," he interrupted him. "I don't care about any couch as long as you're taken care of."

Silence.

"Thank you, Mr. Stark," Peter finally said, genuinely. "You're a really good... uh... boss."

The doctors came rushing in and didn't leave a single second for the duo to speak.

Yep, Tony might have actually screamed in frustration. You'll never know.

•×××•

 _LALALALALALALALALALALALALALAL_ -

Tony had already learnt to listen to his Dad Mode, but the fact that it was so loud worried him.

A small smacking sound was heard. The billionaire turned only to find that the source of the noise was Peter, whose head had bumped against the metal desk he was working on when he fell asleep. The problem was that Peter was too tired. Tony relaxed.

"Pete?" No answer. "Kid?"

A little "Hm?" was the response he got this time.

Tony laughed lightly. Peter was just too adorable.

"Let's get you to your room, kid."

As the man helped him up, Peter rubbed his eye with the back of his hand. "I wouldn't want to intrude; I'll just... leave."

"You literally have a room here, you wouldn't be intruding. Never. Ever."

Peter was way too tired to process what was being said to him.

Slowly, Tony helped his kid through the hallway, stopping only when they were right outside a door with the label "My Son" in bright golden letters.

Peter turned to Tony with wide eyes.

  
  
  


"You have a son? That's nice! When can I meet him?"

Tony kept eye contact as he took a name plate out of nowhere that said "Peter" and stuck it to the door.

The teen looked up and saw his name, then sighed.

"Why is my name so common?"

Tony stared blankly. He took out yet another name plate that read "Parker" and stuck it below the others.

Peter looked at the door again, squinted, stayed quiet for some seconds and at the end said, "The name kinda sounds familiar."

Tony closed his eyes, screamed in silence, tugged at his hair, then stopped and turned to Peter.

This time, he was able to place a hand on the kid's shoulder without him moving for believing it wasn't intended.

"Kid," he started, "it's you."  
  


  
  
  
  
  


"Who's 'You'?"

Tony hugged the precious, innocent bean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for reading! I appreciate every single one of you ^-^


	60. Do we have to?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Peter's turn to take the Decathlon team to his house for practice. Problem is, he moved to Stark Tower and his family is nothing but annoying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nice!Flash but they're not friends either :)

It had never been a huge problem, really. Not until they moved.

Yeah, Peter and May had been convinced (cough cough bribed) by Tony to move to Avenger Tower so the newly shared guardianship over Peter didn't become a problem. And though May wasn't fond of the idea of living in a place she hadn't worked for, she had agreed at the end.

So, what was the problem?

"Peter, it's your turn. Let's go."

Decathlon practice.

Yeah, something had happened that Peter had been too busy to listen, and now all clubs and activities out of the school hours weren't allowed. After a week of discussions and an angry MJ, the school had agreed to let the Decathlon Team keep representing them, but they weren't allowed to stay after school nor arrive early to practice.

"Then we practice during lunch," MJ had said, but few of them had agreed to give up their time to eat for it.

"Then we take turns going to our houses. We need a place to practice and you're not helping."

And, under the threat of losing their little free time, they had agreed.

But now... now it was Peter's turn.

"Peter, come on. We need to get going."

"Yeah, yeah. Let's go."

And the team noticed they weren't heading in the usual direction, and the miserable look on Peter's face.

Then they saw the limousine.

"Hi, Happy."

"Kid."

The team looked at each other but piled in anyway.

"Who are all these people?"

Peter pursed his lips before replying. He hated life.

"My-"

"Nevermind, I don't care."

Okay, Peter smiled a bit at that. It was a very Happy thing to say.

The car ride was quite- immensely-   
awkward. No one other than Peter and the man driving seemed to know where they were going, not even Ned.

And then Stark Towers came into view, and, hadn't Peter sat back suddenly while biting his lip, it wouldn't have seemed relevant or unusual (it was, after all, a huge, shiny, llama-shaped tower in the middle of Manhattan).

What shocked everyone was that the limousine they were in went straight into the underground parking lot, and not any parking lot, no. It went through the private one.

The Avengers' one.

Peter shifted in his seat.

Ah, how he hated life.

"Peter? What are we doing here?"

The teen turned to Sally, who had asked. "We are going to practice," he answered, giving a pointed look to an overly excited Ned. He then turned to the door and got out of the car, being followed by his team only after they came out of the shock (which means that Happy honked and hurried them to get off).

They arrived to Peter's side a second later, and he was tapping his foot in both impatience and nervousness as he waited for them to ride the elevator.

"Now you're all gonna be quiet," Peter said.

Charles tried to ask something but Peter narrowed his eyes in his direction, causing him and everyone else who was about to speak to close their mouth.

But Peter knew better than to expect not to be heard by trained spies and people with enhanced senses. He still held hope, though.

It was futile. No surprise there. 

Peter was rushing them to his room, but Abe fell to the floor.

Of course he did.

Sigh.

It didn't even take a minute for Natasha, Clint, Steve and Bucky to be at his door.

Peter closed his eyes.

How he hated life.

"Hi?"

Natasha stepped forward. "Aren't you going to properly greet your Auntie Nat?"

The spider teen looked to the floor, then up to his aunt, then at his classmates and then back at his aunt.

He did want a hug.

He restrained himself.

He tried hard.

He failed.

Just like a child would, he ran to his auntie and threw himself into her arms. She caressed his hair fondly.

Someone cleared her throat.

It was Cindy, but Peter didn't process that fact and the response was immediate: he stopped looking like a child being cradled and started looking dominant and protective over a relaxed Natasha.

After he saw it had only been his harmless classmate, he should have relaxed, but he tensed further.

Yep, there was no doubt he hated life.

He did.

So, so, so much.

"So," MJ started, like nothing weird was going on at all, "let's start."

"Nope," Clint piped in. He turned to his nephew. "Not until you tell us who all these people are."

Peter threw his head back in frustration and replied to the ceiling, "Decathlon Team. Leave," he said, trying to sound though, "please?"

"Okay, want cookies?" Bucky asked tenderly.

"If that isn't a problem, Uncle Bucky, it would be nice," he said with wide doe eyes.

"It's never a problem, Pete." He ruffled the teen's hair and left happily.

"Are the cookies for when we play Mario Kart? I still have to beat you," Clint contributed into the conversation.

Before Peter could reply, Steve spoke up. "No, you will leave Peter alone. He's with friends now. We got him every other day, work with that."

Clint pouted. "Not fair."

"Alright so could all of you please leave?"

If he used part of his super strength to push them all out of his room, he would never admit it.

But then-

"Nope, I'm coming in."

It was Tony.

(Faraway screaming is heard)

"You really thought I wouldn't notice? Please, I'm Tony Stark!"

"He's Tony Stark!" Seymour echoed in amazement.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Stark," Peter said with sarcasm.

Tony, that drama queen, literally huffed and crossed his arms.

"How is it that they get to be called 'aunts' and 'uncles' while I'm still 'Mr. Stark'?" he complained. "Not fair."

"Life isn't fair, Mr. Stark."

"Stop it!" the billionaire whined.

"I can't," the teen complained uselessly. "It's just that 'uncle' doesn't... fit you."

"Then don't call me 'uncle'!" the genius resolved.

"What do you want me to call you, then? 'Dad'?" Peter asked sarcastically. "Do you want that, 'dad'?"

Silence.

"If you call me anything other than that from now on, you lose your lab privileges."

A sound broke the quiet background.

Another one.

And one more.

It was someone choking, someone falling down, and the click of a camera.

The first person was Ned, the second was Flash, and the third was Natasha, from the doorway.

"About fucking time," was all she said.

There was a brief silence. No one moved.

"Can someone please explain what's going on, please?" Flash asked no one in particular from his place on the floor.

The Avengers in the room, in the doorway, and also behind it, all talked at once, "No."

A little more silence and then-

"Oh, fuck you. We're practicing now. And Stark, you're paying for the snacks." 

Yep, MJ being MJ.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it!


	61. Innocent?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter's done everything he can think of, but the Avengers still see him as an innocent cinnamon roll that wouldn't kill a fly. He's determined to show them otherwise.

He hated it.

In all his life, he had always dealt with anything other people threw at him. 

He could deal with insults, beatings, all of it.

But this?

Peter hated it.

"I can't believe you did this!" Tony yelled.

"How could you?" Natasha was deeply, deeply offended.

"You asshole!" Sam screamed. 

But they weren't speaking to him, nope. That was what he wanted, he had been trying to achieve just that, actually, but life was unfair.

"I didn't do anything! It wasn't me who pranked you this time!" Clint defended himself and crossed his arms.

Everyone started speaking at once, basically yelling at each other, while Peter stood beside the chaos, watching with growing frustration. 

"It was me," the teen admitted; he couldn't take it anymore.

The room fell silent. Clint frowned as the other adults exchanged glances. 

"Peter," Nat started with a calm voice. "You don't have to do this."

"What?" he asked in confusion. "But I wanted to."

"Kiddo, it's fine," Tony said. 

What??

"You don't have to take the blame for Clint's actions."

_Oh, just kill me already._

"Hey! It obviously wasn't him, but it wasn't me either!"

They turned around and continued screaming at Clint as if Peter had never spoken in the first place.

Sigh.

•×××•

"I can't believe it!" Bruce came screaming inside the lab in which Peter was working.

"I told everyone not to play pranks on me; I could Hulk out! But nooooo someone just had to go and put hair dye in my shampoo bottle. And it had your name in it."

Peter smiled in anticipation. Finally...?

"They had the audacity of blaming you! Inadmissible!"

Peter looked at the camera like he was in The Office.

•×××•

Tony barged into Peter's room with a scowl.

"I'm so fucking done!"

With a small, hopeful smile, Peter said, "Language?"

Tony ignored the teen. "Come with me."

Grabbing him by the arm with enough strength to drag him out but not hurt him, the billionaire took Peter to the kitchen, where most of the Avengers were seated.

He broke the bantering with a cough and started speaking. "Someone pranked me today."

Peter smirked. He had written in graffiti something regarding an inside joke between them; there was no way someone else could be blamed.

"Who put cameras in our lab?!"

•×××•

Peter had almost resigned.

They all just considered him so... innocent, naive and incapable of killing a fly (it had only happened once, for God's sake!)

But then he came up with an idea. A good one.

There was no way of failing now, no way of misinterpreting the situation, because he'd do it right in front of them.

Grinning, Peter climbed up to the ceiling and crept his way directly on top of his family.

Pounds and pounds of flour were dropped over Earth's Mightiest Heroes.

There was one single second of silence before all Hades broke loose. Gasps and screams were heard all at the same time, just as they all looked up to find the culprit.

When they saw that who did it was no other than Peter, their sweet cinnamon roll, their faces portrayed so much confusion and indignation that Peter almost burst out laughing.

"Oh god," Thor started, expression aghast, "Loki is mind controlling the baby spider!"

The team started nodding along, their expressions never changing, though some were already out the door in look of the god of mischief.

Peter, still in the ceiling, stared straight ahead. He was _so_ done.

"Fuck y'all, I'm Zayning."

**(Little extra:**

**"Hey," Clint complained offended as he waved a pennant with the inscription "Go 1D!")**


	62. Twitter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another compilation of tweets with no plot  
> You don't need to remember the first part to understand this one

**Peter**  
I remember when I met Harley-  
CoUnTrY bOy I lOvE yOuUuUuU

> **Harley**  
Beep beep bitch you're gay

>> **Peter** @ Harley  
Yes, yes I am. And you know that; you are too. We are literally dating, Harley.

>> **Deadpool** @ Peter  
What

>>> **Spider-Man** @ Deadpool  
What

>>>> **Intern** @ Spider-Man   
What

>>>>> **Tony**  
WHAT

>>>>>> **Shuri**  
Look at all those chickens

•×××•

 **Shuri**  
If there's anyone left out there thinking I'm American, I swear to god I'll play Girl in Red even louder

> **Gen Z**  
*plays Hayley Kiyoko*

> **MJ**  
*plays King Princess*

> **Tony**  
What do you mean? Everyone knows you're literally the princess of a foreign country, why would anyone think you're American?

>> **Peter** @ Tony  
Aw so adorable

>>> **Tony** @ Peter  
No but what does she mean

>>>> **Tony** @ Peter  
Peter

>>>>> **Tony** @ Peter  
PETER

>>>>>> **Tony** @ Peter  
Hey don't ignore me :(

•×××•

 **Intern**  
Tbt to when Mr. Stark broke his elbow and was angrier at me than the criminal because "I don't care that you broke your elbow"

> **Gen Z**  
Lol that's honestly me

> **Tony**  
Can you blame me? I was asking you to get Bruce because it hurt like hell and you were come to me with that shit

>> **Intern** @ Tony  
wAtCh Ya PrOfAnItY

>>> **Steve** @ Intern  
Yes, Tony, watch your profanity. It's nice to see that younger people care too.

>>>> **Peter** @ Steve  
Exactly, Mr. Stark. When will you learn that your actions have consequences?

•×××•

 **Spider-Man**  
They ask you how you are and you just have to say that you're fine when you're not really fine but you just can't get into it because they would never understand

> **Tony**  
I'm not falling for that again

>> **Spider-Man** @ Tony  
You mean you're not mcfalling for that again because you wouldn't be able to get up?

>>> **Tony** @ Spider-Man  
NO

> **Gen Z**  
You'll never be satisfied

>> **Spider-Man** @ Gen Z  
I'll never be satisfied

> **Concerned Parent**  
Are you okay honey?

>> **Spider-Man** @ Concerned Parent  
I am now. Thank you, Concerned Parent.

•×××•

 **Tony**  
Help I think Intern has been possessed

> **Concerned Parent**  
Oh, what happened?!

>> **Tony** @ Concerned Parent  
I just asked him what Newton's third law was and he got all weird singing

>>> **Gen Z** @ Tony  
Can we get back to politics?

>>>> **Tony** @ Gen Z  
What?

>>>> **Intern** @ Gen Z  
Every action has it's equal opposite reaction

>>>>> **Peter** @ Gen Z  
EvErY aCtIoN hAs It'S eQuAl OpPoSsItE rEaCtIoN

>>>>>> **Spider-Man** @ Peter  
eVeRy AcTiOn HaS iT's EqUaL oPpOsSiTe ReAcTiOn

>>>>>>> **Harley** @ Spider-Man  
EVERY ACTION HAS IT'S EQUAL OPPOSITE REACTION

>>>>>>>> **Concerned Parent**  
Oh no they have been possessed

•×××•

 **Shuri**  
Did I make real and deadly lightsabers? Yes. I did.

> **T'Challa**  
Why would you do that?!

>> **Shuri** @ T'Challa  
Because yes

> **Concerned Parent**  
That's amazing darling!

> **Gen Z**  
Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it

>> **Concerned Parent** @ Gen Z  
Wha

> **Intern**  
Wow that's awesome it isn't like I already built those two months ago

>> **Shuri** @ Intern  
What did you say? Sorry, I was mmmmm too busy blocking out the haters

•×××•

 **Tony**  
As a wise man once said, "drop your socks and grab your crocs"

> **Tony**  
That was me. I am the wise man.

> **Gen Z**  
But... what are those?

>> **Peter** @ Gen Z  
ThEy ArE mY cRoCs

>>> **Tony** @ Peter  
Please, I'm begging you to sTOP writing that satanic stuff, at least here

>>>> **Peter** @ Tony  
But I have to write like I'm running out of time

>>>>> **Peter** @ Tony  
Because I am

>>>>>> **Tony** @ Peter  
wHAT

•×××•

 **Spider-Man**  
I want to be as unproblematic and happy as the guacamole woman but yk pUbLiC mEnAcE

•×××•

 **Spider-Man**  
Natasha and I were patrolling and she shot to the sky to shut up Mr. Criminal. I was torn between saying two things. It destroyed me.

> **Gen Z**  
*gasp* She threw away her shot?!

>> **Shuri** @ Gen Z  
This is why mom doesn't fucking love her

> **Natasha**  
And you? Are we not going to talk about what you said when the criminal told you he'd end your life?

>> **Spider-Man** @ Natasha  
"By all means, lead the way"?

>>> **Tony** @ Spider-Man  
KID

•×××•

 **Shuri**  
If your name is J̶u̶n̶i̶o̶r̶ Peter and you're really handsome come on raise your hand

> **Peter**  
(^-^)/

>> **Intern**  
(^-^)/

>>> **Spider-Man**  
(^-^)/

>>>> **Tony**  
Peter what the fuck

>>>>> **Concerned Parent**  
No but everything makes so much more sense now

>>>>>> **Gen Z**  
Yes it do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you liked it!


	63. Tony Stark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony accidentally ruins Peter's social life because he was completely unaware of Gen Z's view of him.

Tony Stark: billionaire, genius, playboy, philanthropist. He had a reputation for being incredibly sarcastic, intelligent and prodigious. Good looking, too.

He held a lot of power. And he knew it.

What he didn't know was Gen Z's view of him.

He never cared enough to look up his name online, or to answer tweets he didn't feel like reading, or to see any Instagram post he was tagged in. He was, after all, a busy man. Therefore, he had never encountered what Gen Z said about him.

 **Betty Brant**  
I'd let Tony Stark step on me and I'd say thank you  
I'm not even kidding

> **Abe Brown** @ Betty Brant  
Relatable tho

 **Sally Avril**  
In this house we only simp for Tony Stark

> **Cindy Moon** @ Sally Avril  
Honestly, same

 **Charles Murphy**  
I mean, I'm not a slut but Tony Stark-

> **Seymour O'Reilly** @ Charles Murphy  
*Sips facts not tea*

The only teenagers Tony cared enough to interact with were Peter and Harley, which were both over their fanboying phase and saw him more as a mentor than anything else.

Because of that, Tony couldn't be blamed for ruining Peter's life.

...

Okay so that's a tiny bit dramatic but, on his defense, his social life _was_ ruined. Because when he said he was late for school and would have to go "superhero style" to arrive on time, he meant swinging there, but nope. Tony, either because he misinterpreted it or because he was that extra, decided that Iron Man was a good enough "superhero style", grabbed Peter by the arm as his nanotech suit formed around him, and flew him to school in a minute.

" _What the fuck, Mr. Stark?_ "

"You said you wanted to come the superhero style," Tony said nonchalantly, then shrugged.

"This is NOT what I meant, Mr. Stark!"

Everyone around them had stopped what they were doing, fell silent and started staring open-mouthed.

Tony didn't know what was coming. He had no idea.

Screeching was suddenly heard, and that brought everyone back from their shock.

"OH MY GOD!"

"IRON MAN IS HERE!"

"THAT'S TONY STARK!"

The billionaire smirked; he loved the attention he was used to receiving.

"PLEASE PUNCH ME WITH YOUR REPULSORS!"

Tony turned in shock. Women asking him to... choke them... wasn't out of the ordinary, unfortunately, but this? What the hell?

"DEAR GOD BETTY!" someone screamed in the brief silence caused by the girl's request. "YOU'RE A FUCKING GENIUS!"

"A CHANCE AT BEING PUNCHED BY IRON MAN AND DYING _AT THE SAME TIME_?"

"YES, YES, YES, YES!"

"PLEASE!"

Everyone started speaking at once, their shock now fully gone and only leaving place to their fangirling.

"WOULD YOU BLAST ME?"

"WOULD YOU KICK ME TO THE MOON?"

"STEP ON ME!"

Few were the times Tony Stark had been left speechless. This was one of them.

He turned to Peter, but he simply looked defeated, as if he had been expecting that reaction (and he had). Now that people knew Peter was close to Tony, if they somehow managed to get out of there without killing someone first, Peter's life would be ruined.

"YEET ME WITH YOUR SUPERARMS IRONDADDY"

And no, it wasn't an exaggeration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What the heck was this, mind?  
> (Sigh)


	64. Dad™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony Stark is a Dad™ for Peter, and the Avengers know it.

Tony was Peter's dad. The Avengers had a lot of proof of that, they had no doubt.

How could they believe anything else when stuff like this happened?

"And so Ned told me that we could build his new Lego set this afternoon!" Peter said excitedly as he left the elevator and walked to the lab alongside Tony, who had just picked him up from school.

"Yeah? I'll take you to his house then, kiddo, after you finish your homework," Tony said in response, taking Peter's backpack from his shoulders, the movement looking casual, and then closing the lab's door behind them with his foot.

The Avengers looked at each other.

"Yep, he's definitely his dad," Clint said. The rest nodded in agreement.

•×××•

Not even a week later, something else happened that supplied them of even more proof.

"Do you really need so much luggage?" Steve asked the billionaire, eyes wide in disbelief.

"Yes, I do."

No one questioned him. After all, he was always extra, it wasn't a surprise that he'd pack so many things for a three-day-long trip if he could (and it was his jet, so he actually could).

But a few hours into the flight, Peter had a nightmare. Nothing too bad, but he woke up agitated and needing a hug.

Tony was quick to go to Peter's side, providing the much needed comfort. After a few minutes, he stood up and took one of his many bags, opening it, taking out a big blanket and wrapping it around Peter.

"I'm- I'm fine. I don't need it. I'm fine, I swear," Peter said.

Tony looked up from where he was, looked at Peter blankly, then went back to rummaging through another of his bags. He took out lots of pieces of paper with equations on them.

"Here, you love solving these," he said simply, ignoring the teen's protests.

Peter rolled his eyes but accepted the papers anyway.

But Tony didn't stop there, nope. He turned around and started looking through the mini refrigerator he had carried inside. When he opened it, many of the occupants of the plane were surprised; there wasn't a single alcoholic drink in there.

Out of the refrigerator of his private plane, Tony Stark took a capri sun.

"Here."

Peter took it, and drank it as he solved the equations. His tense shoulders slowly relaxed as he took his mind off the nightmare to immerse himself in the task in hand.

"No doubt," Natasha told the others.

•×××•

Situations like those kept happening. _All the time._

But there was one particular thing that happened that made them all realize that, _damn_ , Tony Stark was a dad.

"You're doing it wrong," Sam was telling Clint.

"No, I'm not," the archer countered.

"No, he isn't," Bucky agreed.

"But he is," Vision pointed out.

"What?" Steve asked.

Their voices juxtaposed and eventually became unrecognizable as they began to yell over one another.

A small and quiet- almost under the human hearing range- sob left Peter's lips.

In between all the yelling and fighting, no one heard him. No one except-

"Peter," Tony whispered as he burst into the room they were in, shutting everyone up. "Peter, Peter, Peter," he repeated while looking around, trying to locate the teen. Once he spotted him, the billionaire was quick to approach him.

The boy seemed to be in pain, though not too much.

Tony looked him up and down once and immediately opened a cabinet no one had even realized was there. He started taking out seemingly random objects. Sunglasses, a pillow, earplugs, a box of poptarts. What?

The Dad™ then proceeded to put the sunglasses to the kid, followed by the earplugs. He accommodated the pillow behind his head softly, and finished his show by opening a bag of poptarts for Peter.

"You better now, kid?" At the nod he got in response, he continued in a low voice. "I'm gonna go look for your special headache pills, 'kay? I'll be right back."

"He never even said-" Bruce started, but he was quickly shushed by the Dad™, who also gave him a glare that made sure not a single sound would be made until he came back.

"Thank you," Peter said softly once he received the medication he needed, comfortable with the pillow and blanket provided, happy with his poptarts and feeling better already with the special glasses and earplugs.

"A dad, I tell you," Bucky said with a smile.

•×××•

It was Thor.

It just had to be Thor.

"Where are the poptarts, Tonyson?" the god had asked.

Now, the Avengers all went on with what they were doing as if nothing had happened. For them, it was that way. Peter was Tony's son, right?

But the father-son duo froze.

"Tony-what?" Peter asked weakly with wide eyes.

"Poptarts?" Thor asked again.

"No, no. Thor, what did you call him?" Tony asked, equally caught off guard.

"Poptarts?"

Silence.

"He called Peter 'Tonyson'," Natasha supplied helpfully.

Every pair of eyes in the room watched as they both started trying- and failing- to say something about it.

"No, he- I- no-" Peter spluttered.

"What made you think that-?"

They looked at each other in silence for five seconds straight.

"Okay, maybe he's like my son. Maybe. Perhaps. I'm just not saying he isn't."

Peter smiled shyly.

"Mayhaps I am."

Tony was Peter's dad. The Avengers were right all along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for reading, hope you enjoyed it!


	65. No longer a secret identity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spider-Man's identity is revealed... and then Peter has to go to school.

Something had happened. What exactly wasn't important; the important thing was what had been revealed.

Peter's secret identity, for instance.

He was so tired, so fucking _done_ with life.

So when, the following day, Peter was swarmed the second he stepped into the hallway of his school, he simply jumped to the ceiling.

His identity was out, people were bothering him; it was the only logical thing to do.

The students gasped and filmed as he started walking upside down like it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. He was Spider-Man, so it wasn't, but for them he had always just been Peter Parker, the resident nerd.

The resident nerd who now turned out to be a secret superhero that jumped off buildings on a daily basis, took stab wounds and gunshot wounds every day in order to help people and catch criminals, could surely kill someone with a punch even holding back his strength, and worked with the _Avengers_.

So, like, the usual.

Of course.

Sigh.

Yep, Peter gave up in life.

 _At least I can use my powers at school now_ , he thought as kept walking on the ceiling to avoid the crowd, ignoring all the phone cameras pointed his way.

•×××•

"What do you need, Flash?" Peter asked as he sat with his head in his arms. The bell had just rung, so everyone was still in the classroom, and interested enough to stay for a bit longer just to see how the interaction would go down.

"How did you know-?" he started asking but realized midway how stupid his question was.

"You aren't as silent as you think for people with heightened senses. I know your footsteps and breathing pattern well enough to recognize you," Peter admitted tiredly, finally lifting his head to look at the other boy. "As I do with all of you."

"Oh," Flash said. He wasn't expecting that.

"Anyway, why are you so nervous?"

The bully got defensive quickly. "I'm not nervous, Parker."

"Oh, so you're not calling me 'Penis' anymore. Good to know," he said sarcastically. "And, by the way, I know because I can hear your heartbeat. It's... quick, Flash."

From beside him, Ned spoke up, "Horrible pun, zero points to Hufflepuff."

"Spider-Man's a Hufflepuff?" Abe asked.

"I'm your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man for a reason, Abe."

"Oh, right."

Flash cleared his throat to gain the young hero's attention again. "I just wanted to say sorry about, you know, everything."

"About bullying me? Yeah, sure. But if you or anyone else tries that shit again in anyone... I don't have an identity to protect anymore." Peter grabbed his backpack and left the threat hanging in the air as he exited the classroom calmly.

•×××•

Of course, they had gym class that day.

_Of course._

Peter did hate life.

At least he didn't have to change in the bathroom anymore. That was... good? Kinda?

But everyone knowing he was Spider-Man didn't stop them from gasping and staring once he took off his shirt. He had an eight pack, yep. And scars. Lots of scars.

Sighing, he pulled his gym tee shirt over his head and left the dressing room.

With slight curiosity, he wondered what the coach would do. Now that he knew nothing they had ever done had presented a challenge, what would he change for Peter?

"Gather around, children!" Coach Hedge yelled over the chatter. "Today we'll do some exercises to increase your arm strength."

Peter grimaced. That'd be boring, considering nothing in that gym could even make him break a sweat.

"One of you will be doing pullups in the bar and the rest of you will do pushups until it's your turn." He waited until they had all positioned themselves. "Ready, cupcakes? I don't care if you aren't, the timer has started!"

Everything started off normal, except for the fact that Peter was doing ten times the amount of pushups the rest of his classmates were doing. But whatever, they all already knew he could so why not?

But then it was Peter's turn at the pullups, and he wasn't planning on holding back as much as he usually did. He would hold back because even _he_ didn't know the full extent of his strength, but he wouldn't pretend it was straining. Because it wasn't. At all.

"No, no, no, cupcake," the coach tutted five seconds into his turn, "this won't work for you."

Peter let go of the bar and asked, "Then what do I do?"

Coach Hedge looked around with a critical eye, but didn't seem to find anything he approved of. Until his eyes fell upon the heavy gym weights stored and forgotten in a corner. Their use had been banned after an incident, but they were talking about _Spider-Man_ now.

"Pick those, one of 20 lbs for each side."

Peter turned around, stared blankly at Hedge, then balanced both of them with two fingers like it was nothing.

"Pick three of the 40 lbs ones for each side!"

Once again sighing, Peter picked them up and did the exercise he was told.

"This is obviously not working," Coach Hedge said in thought. "How much can you lift, cupcake?"

Peter shrugged. "No idea."

Then things got out of hand. Turns out he can lift his whole class all at once sat on a wooden board over his head without much problem.

Coach Hedge took a picture of it. It was fun.

•×××•

Peter scrolled through Twitter as he entered the penthouse of Stark Tower. The pictures and videos of the day were going viral at that point.

"Kid!" Tony greeted. "I have good news!"

"Hey, Mr. Stark! What is it?"

"Pepper's a genius, I tell you. She came up with an irrefutable story to cover up what happened yesterday! As long as you have lain low today, your secret identity will be safe!"

Peter looked at me.

"Oh, fuck you."


	66. A bit of flirting does no wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley moves to NY and meets Peter. They can't just,,, not flirt with each other.

"We have a new student with us today," the teacher said. "Harley, would you tell the class something about yourself so we get to know you?"

"I have the knowledge and the resources to build a potato gun, in between other things, so bitches need to stay away." He finger-gunned and went to sit next to MJ, the only available place left. She didn't spare him a second glance.

"Such a charming boy," the teacher commented, then started the class.

The bell eventually rang, signaling the end of the class, and Peter turned around in his seat to face his friend.

"MJ, MJ! I never got to tell you about what happened yesterday in the lab! We were trying to come up with a new formula when I accidentally knocked over a desk and all the chemicals caused this huge explosion- hey, hey, MJ, are you listening to me?"

The girl raised her head slightly. "No, but loser three beside me seems to be interested." She pointed at Harley who was, indeed, paying attention to Peter.

"Oh, okay?" Peter said. He slowly looked at Harley, slightly flustered, who was still staring at him expectantly.

"Go on."

It was that little occurrence that sparked an amity between them that just made sense.

•×××•

"Peter, why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer," MJ said without looking away from her book. It was lunch now, and Peter may or may not have developed a tiny little huge crush on Harley already.

Peter blushed. "I'm not staring," he lied. He damn well had been.

"Yeah, sure, whatever helps you sleep at night."

Harley sat back in his chair, raising an eyebrow. "I'm here, guys."

Peter blushed harder, MJ raised her gaze, stared blankly for two straight seconds, then went back to reading.

"And here I thought you were a genius, Tennessee."

"Hey," Peter defended Harley. "He _is_ a genius!"

"Yeah," he winked at Peter blatantly, "I am a genius."

And, yet again, Peter's blush deepened.

•×××•

Since that very first day, their little group of friends had accepted Harley as one of them, and he wouldn't be leaving any time soon. Yeah, he had only been there for three days, but still.

They were seating together during lunch once again, and Ned, Harley and Peter were having a discussion, a very loud discussion, over who was the strongest Avenger.

MJ, tired of their shit, took it upon herself to shut them up by giving them something they could agree on so she could continue reading in peace.

"Who's the most powerful doesn't matter, but who's the hottest Avenger?" she asked, successfully managing to change the topic and shut them up.

"Probably Thor," Ned said, immediately cutting off the discussion. "Although Captain America's hot too," he added. Peter hummed in agreement. "And Tony Stark-"

"Don't go there, dude."

Ned sighed in defeat. "Okay."

"Can we leave it at Thor? He's probably the best-looking man in this world and in others too; there's no point in discussing it."

There was a cough, then Harley narrowed his eyes in Peter's direction.

Blushing (and God if Harley loved making him blush), Peter corrected himself. "The second best-looking man."

"Oh, not again!" Ned complained. "MJ, they're doing it again!"

She immediately slammed shut her book and put it on top of the table. Her expression showed just how utterly _done_ she was.

"If neither of you is gonna ask the other out, I'll have to take matters into my own hands. And I won't have mercy."

Peter tried to stutter out a response but failed.

"Don't even try to deny it, Peter. You've been simping over Harley ever since he arrived." Harley smirked. MJ turned to him. "And you've been flirting and staring at him with heart eyes every day. So wipe that smirk unless you're planning on finally making your move, Keener."

Harley, never one to turn down a challenge and much less one he actually wanted to carry out, immediately turned to Peter.

"How does ice cream sound, darling?"

•×××•

That same day, Peter and Harley walked out of school together, just talking and having fun.

But that day Tony was picking up Peter.

"Kid?" Tony asked in astonishment.

Peter turned to look at him. "Mr. Stark?"

"No, Potato kid?"

"Old man?" Harley asked in surprise.

"Harley?" Peter asked, confused.

"Harry Styles?" Deadpool asked. Everyone stared at him. "Oh, sorry, wrong one shot," he said, before disappearing into thin air.

Tony shook his head. "Anyway, Peter, you know Harley?"

" _You_ know Harley?" Peter asked in return.

"You know Stark?" Harley asked.

" _You_ know Mr. Stark?" Peter asked, getting more confused by the second.

Harley turned to look at the billionaire. "How do you know Peter?"

"How do _you_ know Peter?"

" _How do you both know Tony Stark?_ " Flash asked in an amazed yet horrified whisper. They all ignored him.

"You know what? I don't wanna know," the boy from Tennessee said.

"Alright, but you're coming to the tower with us today," Tony said, then talked again when he saw Harley about to protest, "Not a question, potato kid."

Peter, still confused, smiled. "Nice to know you get along with him! I now know your approval won't be a problem when I tell you that we're dating!"

Tony choked. "You're _what?_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it!


	67. Influence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony realized just how much he has influenced Peter.

"You have a big influence over him, Tony."

"No, Pep. Peter's not like me in any way."

Pepper raised a brow, stood up and approached the teen, who was doing homework on the other side of the living room.

"Hey, honey," she said while ruffling his curls fondly. "What are you drinking?"

Peter looked up from his work and smiled at the CEO. "Just a bit of coffee, Ms. Potts! I need energy!"

Pepper glanced at Tony from the corner of her eye.

"And why drink coffee when you could, say, sleep?"

"Sleep?" He laughed and immediately brushed off her suggestion. "No, there's no time for sleep. Coffee does the job just fine." He smiled at her like he hadn't said anything out of the ordinary. "Ms. Potts, I'm sorry for sounding rude but I need to finish this assignment, two essays, a presentation and a video for tomorrow. Thanks for visiting, though!" He picked up his stuff clumsily, sticking to half of them so they wouldn't fall, and left the room.

Tony, wide-eyed and internally horrified, swallowed hard and said, "Okay, I might have influence over him, but not so much, probably a 12%."

Pepper crossed her arms and sighed. "Have you considered that, perhaps, your influence isn't bad?"

Tony, looking at his wife intently, agressively gestured to the now empty coffee cup in the sink. She sighed again and uncrossed her arms.

"This is not all, Tony," she said softly. "You really haven't noticed?"

"What?" No, he hadn't noticed anything different at all. What was she talking about?

"Remember what happened last time you went undercover to his school for a presentation?"

Yes, of course Tony remembered, he had been so proud of Peter. The teen had stood in front of fifty people and presented his idea about a greener way to produce electronics. Tony wasn't only proud of the genius idea that ended up winning him a trophy, nope; he was also proud that Peter had overcome his insecurities, his fear of showing what he could do in front of someone else (let alone fifty people).

Tony had smiled brightly at Peter and taken him to buy icecream, but the possibility of it being him who had influenced the kid never once crossed his mind.

"I... helped?" He was shocked. Pepper couldn't blame him.

"Yes, you did," she confirmed. "And do you remember what happened with that Flash kid?"

Tony's demeanor immediately turned cold at the mention of the bully, until he remembered what had happened.

It had been just two weeks ago, and Peter was so much happier since then. Getting rid of your bully really did wonders for one's life.

No- not getting rid in _that_ way. Jesus.

Anyway, Peter had gone to school as he usually did, and, as per usual too, was targeted by Flash as soon as he stepped into the building. The tension had been building up for days inside Peter, he couldn't deal with it anymore; he snapped.

"Flash, fuck off."

"Now who do you think you are?" Flash had said in anger, affected by the lack of emotion on Peter's voice. He had thrown a punch afterwards, but, unlike what normally happened, Peter grabbed his fist.

"I said: fuck off. Don't make me repeat it," Peter had deadpanned, only then opening his hand and letting go of the bully.

Flash's eyes had held a healthy amount of fear in that moment, so much so that Tony had printed it (he had definitely _not_ hacked into the school cameras when Karen alerted him of the confrontation). The picture was now hung on the fridge.

"I don't see how that could be because of me," Tony told Pepper.

"You're the one who taught him that he needs to stand up for himself, and did you see his expression? It was a perfect copy of yours when you're dealing with nosey reporters, Tony. Of course it was because of you."

"Maybe."

"Definitely."

Tony looked at his smiling wife, at the school trophy that sat next to his Nobel medals, at the empty coffee cup, and then at the scared face of the bully on his fridge.

Good or bad, Tony did have an influence over Peter.

Smiling lightly, he thought, _'It makes sense._ _He is, after all, my son.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it!


	68. Rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley isn't sleeping. Peter takes care of it.

Harley was working in his private lab, he was close to finishing this new project he was working on. He was so, _so_ close. He just needed a few additional hours, no more than five.

To resist sleep, Harley turned his swivel chair around towards the coffee machine, only to find a spider in the way.

"Peter?" he asked in confusion.

"Harley?" Peter asked back with a raised eyebrow.

"Three questions," the boy from Tennessee said, sitting back in his chair. "One: what are you doing here?"

"Tony called me, said you weren't sleeping."

"Two: wanna help with this?"

"Not now, there are other pressing matters."

"Three, actually not a question: move so I can get my coffee."

"No."

"Rude."

And Harley tried, he tried hard to convince his boyfriend, but there was nothing he could do when the teen he was dealing with had superstrenght, the ability to stick to everything and a sixth sense.

"I hate you," Harley pouted.

"No, you don't," Peter said as he checked his nails calmly.

Harley sighed sadly. "No, I don't."

"Now," the other boy started, "You're going to come with me and you're going to sleep. Otherwise, there will be no option other than carrying you against your will... and casually taking a picture as you whine like an infant... and post it in Tony's worldwide-famous Instagram account..."

"I'm seriously reconsidering the 'I don't hate you' part."

"What a shame," Petter deadpanned.

Defeatedly, the mechanic headed to his room at the tower. He was surprised when he realized that Peter was following him.

"I'm not leaving you alone until I know for sure you're actually sleeping," the enhanced teen said once he noticed the confusion coating the other's features.

Harley looked at the floor in disappointment. He wouldn't be able to work with Friday through his phone, as he was planning to, then.

"I thought couples were supposed to help each other."

Peter didn't look at Harley as he replied, "That's what I'm doing."

"You suck, did you know that?"

He chuckled. "Love you too."

Harley would've protested more, but he was just too tired. He let himself be guided to his unnecessarily huge bed and only then realized how exhausted he was. However, he was still conscious enough to notice Peter sitting on the other side of the bed and turning on his TV.

Drowsily, Harley turned to him and shot him a questioning glance.

"Is it okay if I stay here? Or would you prefer I sit on the couch?" Peter asked softly so as to not disturb his half asleep boyfriend too much.

"It's fine," Harley said, right before giving in to sleep.

Peter had time to watch four movies before the mechanic woke up. He was beginning to feel quite tired himself by the time.

"What time is it?" Harley's faint voice asked.

"It's 8 PM, Harls," Peter answered in a whisper.

"Have you eaten something yet?" he shot back in concern the moment he got an answer.

"I did, it's alright." Peter grabbed a muffin from the nightstand and passed it to Harley, who thanked him.

"What are you watching?" he asked as he began eating his muffin.

"A Harry Potter marathon."

Harley scrunched his nose as he sat up. "I hate JK Rowling."

"Don't we all?"

"True."

The boy from Tennessee yawned and stretched his back before letting himself fall down next to Peter.

"Can we imagine half the characters aren't straight or cis just out of spite?"

"Harls, darling," said Peter with false condescension, "what do you think I've been doing?"

They both grinned and accommodated so they were now sitting directly beside each other, sharing blankets.

"Perhaps you're the one who should rest now," Harley said when he felt Peter's head in his shoulder, immediately wrapping one arm around him to hold him securely.

Peter hummed. He already had his eyes closed and snuggled further into his boyfriend's chest. The other started running a hand through his hair, knowing how much it calmed him.

"Night," Peter mumbled.

"Night, love."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!


	69. Fancy clothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pepper and Tony insist that Peter should wear his new clothes to school. He's hesitant at first, but he soon finds himself loving these new looks. It spirals into chaos.

* * *

"Fancy clothing? Seriously?"

Now, dear reader, you might think Peter's talking to me and criticizing my lack of creativity for a title, but that's not it! He's actually talking to Pepper.

"Not 'fancy'," she countered, making air quotes, "just the ones Tony had made especially for you."

"Again," Peter said, "fancy clothing?"

Pepper shook her head and rolled her eyes playfully.

"I'm just saying you don't have to wear those worn out clothes anymore if you don't want to. Tony already bought tailored new ones, so I'd be a shame if they were left with no use." She shrugged and then stepped a little closer, as if she were about to tell a secret. "I'm convinced Tony secretly wants to make you look like him."

Peter smiled in amusement, his cheeks just a little red.

"Now get dressed fast or you'll be late for school," Pepper said and walked out of the room only after ruffling his hair fondly.

Peter stared thoughtfully at the clothes on his bed. Most of them were far too fancy, but there were a few that could go unnoticed if he tried hard enough.

Hesitantly, Peter put on those clothes.

•×××•

"You look a bit more colorful today. New clothes?" Ned asked.

"Yeah, ignore it."

Ned did; after all, not much had changed except the fact that the coloro of his clothes weren't as faded. He had chosen that outfit specifically because of that.

It went unnoticed, just as Peter had hoped, and so did his similar outfits the following days.

They were simple black jeans, white shirts with colorful patterns and sneakers. But Peter was being subtly (read: no subtly at all) pushed by Tony to take a look at the more fancy stuff he had bought. Peter had to comply (and he secretly wanted to, now; he saw the appeal).

That's why he started wearing black ripped jeans, but kept the white shirts with colorful patterns and the sneakers.

No one noticed the change.

 _Nobody notices?_ He asked himself. _Does that mean I can take this further?_

And he did. He was bolder with the change this time, opting to go with some of the bright-colored shirts, no pattern this time. They matched the ripped jeans quite nicely, he noticed.

MJ complimented the first couple of shirts. She wasn't, of course, included in the not-noticing club. She was MJ.

But Peter still felt something was missing in his outfit. Maybe a jacket?

So, next day, he chose one of the black jackets hung in his closet. They were quite nice, he found, so he started wearing them more often. High school teens seemed to be too busy to notice Peter Parker's choice of outfit.

He took advantage of that, of course, and replaced the plain colored shirts with patterned ones. But they didn't have just any pattern, no, it had _flamingos_.

"Flamingos are underrated," Peter told MJ when she asked. He shrugged, and she dismissed the subject.

No one else played attention long enough to notice it.

That's why, when Peter decided to change the jackets for blazers, the change went unseen by his classmates.

But black blazers just... weren't doing it for him. He needed more. Colors, maybe, and patterns for sure. He was willing to give up the patterned shirts for that; it was worth it.

Black blazers with flower patterns were enough at first, but it soon became... underwhelming for Peter. He then opted for one with flamingos. They had looked good before.

"I just really like flamingos."

He did.

"I see that, kid, but wouldn't you like to take it a bit further?"

Peter's eyes shone with delight the next day as he rocked his new black slacks and oxfords. They looked amazing.

He only got a raised eyebrow from MJ, but no one else seemed to notice the change.

But Peter, still alternating between fun patterned blazers, soon came to a realization.

"I gotta look better. Like Harry Styles, but bolder."

The blazers and slacks were set aside. The suit era had begun.

And damn if he looked good.

He started wearing brighter colors, too. Dark colors were nice, sure, but Peter wanted more. So orange suits it was! And then pink, and blue, and green...

It was a mystery how he still went unnoticed, but hell if he wasn't going to take advantage of it.

But something was still missing

_Maybe_ _..._

•×××•

Peter walked into the classroom ten minutes late, and this gave his class the chance to, for the first time in quite a while, take a proper look at him.

He walked to his desk, showing off his bright red suit with dogs patches sewed into it, his black heels, Tony Stark's sunglasses on top of his nose and a feathered hat.

Everyone shared the same thought.

_When the hell did this happen?_

"Y'all are unobservant idiots," MJ stated.

It was true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading ♡


	70. Rumors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rumors only grow. And we both know what we know... 
> 
> I'd say I'm sorry but no I'm not. I'm hamiltrash.
> 
> Okay but for real, Peter and Ned decide to spread false rumors about Spider-Man's identity. And everyone is an idiot. Except MJ.
> 
> Credits for the idea go to @SeriouslyFangirling on Wattpad!

"Did you hear that someone saw Spider-Man without his mask on?"

A gasp. "Seriously?"

"Yes!"

Peter looked around in what he thought to be a discreet way. It wasn't.

He and Ned had come up with a plan to keep everyone off track regarding the young hero's identity.

It was simple: it consisted simply of spreading false rumors- or better phrased as speaking just a little too loud so they were overheard, and then allowing false rumors to spread on their own.

Same difference.

Now, the plan was good, they were just terrible, terrible actors.

"And do you happen to know who it is?!" Ned asked with extremely exaggerated enthusiasm.

"They said it was..." Peter lowered his voice just a fraction; enough to pretend to be secretive but not enough for it not to be heard, "Tony Stark under the mask!"

Another gasp.

"But Iron Man and Spider-Man have been seen together!"

"The fact is that the suits can be remotely controlled by voice, so it could be him!"

"And the times they were seen together and Tony Stark wasn't wearing his suit?"

"He's a billionaire, he can pay people to put the mask on to throw off others."

Yet another gasp. "It makes so much sense!"

A locker slamming was what broke the complete silence in the hallway.

"Shut up, losers," MJ intervened. "We all know Spidey's young. It's obviously Tony Stark's secret son. The tech says it all."

There were many gasps this time, but few belonged to the group of friends.

Well, Ned and Peter were idiots. MJ was not.

"It could be!" Ned said, though he was a bit thrown off by the unprecedented change of script.

Peter, who was trying to suppress his embarrassment at being indirectly called Tony's son, decided to speak then. Totally not to get his friends' focus off of that fact. Not at all. "You do have a point there."

"Of course I do. Spider-Man's and Tony Stark's body types don't even match."

And with those simple words, MJ gave the rest of the school permission to believe it. It wasn't permission, exactly; it was simply the fact that if she believed it, then there must be a good enough reason to.

•×××•

Their conversation had started many conspiracies, each a bit more eccentric than the previous one. They had spread through Twitter and Instagram, and had even reached Tumblr.

People were convinced that Spider-Man was Tony's son. They had no doubt. The conspiracies revolved around who the kid was, exactly.

Then, during that fated class, things escalated even further.

A notification from multiple different phones rang in the otherwise silent classroom.

Now, using phones during class was forbidden, as everyone knew. That didn't stop them, though. They were teenagers after all.

So, they all took out their phones hurriedly, the teacher's protests falling on deaf ears, and checked their notifications.

It was a new tweet by Tony Stark, Peter saw on Ned's phone. He internally sighed at how everyone had his notifications on. Simps.

It was a picture of the newest Iron Man suit, still set on top of one of the lab's table.

Cindy inhaled sharply and pointed at her screen, turning it so her friend could see. 

Gasps were heard all through the room as more people caught on to what Cindy was showing.

At the other side of the lab table, barely visible on top of a chair, a jacket could be seen. Except, it wasn't just any jacket. Nope. It was Peter's Academic Decathlon jacket. 

Well, shit.

"It must be his son's! There's no other explanation!" Seymour shouted excitedly.

"Spider-Man comes to Midtown High!"

"And he's a part of the Decathlon team! That narrows it down so much!" Charles exclaimed.

Flash narrowed his eyes for a second, as if he were thinking, and suddenly his eyes went huge. He immediately put on a "cool" expression, that looked more like he hadn't slept for weeks, and chuckled to call everyone's attention. It sounded like he had choked.

"Guys. It's obvious. It has to be someone who acts suspicious, has a lot of money with little explanation behind it, ditches classes often... It's obvious!"

The teens all gasped yet again and started whispering fervently to each other.

"It's-" Sally started, and everyone joined in.

"It's Abe!"

**Extra:**

**MJ sighed. "Disappointed but not surprised."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiiii
> 
> yes I know it's been months since the last update and this is short please don't kill me  
> I just,,, kinda fell off the fandom? not really. i just joined a different one so I'm not as active on this one anymore. plus writers block. so ah yeah sorry akdjdkfk 
> 
> anyway, I hope you liked this little thing i wrote!


End file.
